


Bloody Knuckles

by Urundermyskin



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bottom Mickey Milkovich, Child Abuse, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, Top Ian Gallagher, fuck buddies, highschool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-09 22:46:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 54,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12898458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Urundermyskin/pseuds/Urundermyskin
Summary: Mickey decides to do after school boxing and Ian can't take his eyes off of the new kid who's kicking everyone's ass in the ring





	1. Busters Gym

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're supposed to divide it by the two, not multiple," he mumbles. He folds his arms over his chest and looks back out the window.
> 
> Ian looks over at Mickey, confused. He then looks back down at his work and erases the whole thing. He wipes off the eraser shavings and redoes the problem, this time doing it the way Mickey had said. Once he finishes he stares down at it and then up at Mickey. "Shit, dude, you were right," he says, smiling. "Thanks."

"Mickey knock it the fuck off," Mandy whispers harshly, whirling around in her seat to glower at Mickey. The boy just smirks at her and starts to tap his pen louder against the desk. It was 7:30, only fifteen minutes into the horrendous class that was chemistry. Mickey had been held back two years and therefore he was in the same grade as his sister, which sucked for him. He already saw enough of her at the house. He didn't want to spend anymore time with her than he had to. "I'm being serious. Stop it now or I take the pen and shove it up your-"

"Amanda! What's the problem?" The teacher says sternly. He stops writing in mid sentence on the chalk board and turns to face her, folding his arms over his chest.

Mandy rolls her eyes. "First off, its Mandy. And second off, nothing's wrong, Mr.Sterns. I've got it covered," she mumbles. The teacher continues to stare, squinting his eyes as if he could see right through her and find the truth. Mickey had a shit eating grin on his face the whole time and to piss Mandy off even more, he started to kick the back of her chair. Mandy's fists clenched and the second the teacher turned back around, Mandy whirled around in her chair again. "Knock it off, shit-breath. Or I tell dad you were the one that took his pack of cigarettes."

The tapping and kicking immediately stopped, Mickey just glaring at her instead. "Cheap shot," he mutters, looking away from her and doodling something on his empty notes. Mandy smirks at him and turns back around in her seat. "Asshole," Mickey mumbles under his breath and Mandy flips him off over her shoulder.

It had only taken a week for the other students to realize that the disturbances from the Milkovich kids were an everyday thing. Mandy would either be yelling at Mickey or flirting with guys while the teacher was teaching and Mickey would either be picking on the others kids or even the teacher if he wanted to. Bottom line was, all learning that was supposed to be happening in the room was being prevented from the two obnoxious siblings.

"Mickey, we haven't heard from you in a while. Why don't you tell us how to solve this problem," the teacher says. Mickey ignores him, his head down writing his name in graffiti letters onto the margins of his tore up notebook. "Mickey!" The teacher says louder.

"I don't have hearing aids. You don't have to yell," he grumbles.

The teacher places his hand on his hip and taps impatiently. "That's good for you. Now can you tell us how you think we solve this?"

A small smile spreads across Mickey's face and he shrugs. "Yeah sure, why not. You know the fucking pressure and volume and you gotta find the temperature. So you take the pressure and volume and shove it up your ass." This little comment gets a few snickers from a couple students, including Mandy.

"Hallway. Now," he says, pointing to the hallway. The veins in his neck were popping out and his face was so red Mickey was sure smoke was going to come out of his ears.

"Oh, come on, man. We were just gettin' started I thought," he says, smirking.

"Now, Mikhailo. Unless you'd rather go to the office," he threatens but it was useless. Mickey rolls his eyes and stood up. He slung his bag over his shoulder, gathered his books in his hand and walked out. "And wait for me after class!" He calls before Mickey slammed the door shut.

"Fuckin' asshole," he mumbles under his breath. He drops his bag with a loud thud and slides down the wall, leaning his head back. The second he did that though his phone buzzed, lighting up in his pocket. He sighs and pulls it out.

Mandy 7:35 ~ you're a dumb ass, mick.

Mickey laughs, knowing  Mandy was joking. She liked it when Mickey messed around in class sometimes and he knew for a fact that he had made her laughed.

Mickey 7:36 ~ you know you liked it.

The rest of class, Mickey spent it on the dirty floor of the school which was actually a lot more interesting than Mr. Sterns class. He got to see a kid get his ass kicked by a couple of jocks, a roach the size of his fucking text book and two boys walking into the bathroom and walking back out ten minutes later only to have accidentally put on each other's shoes by mistake. Finally, the ear piercing sound of the bell echoed around the grimy halls and Mickey stood up, cracking his back. "Have fun, Mr. Sterns is in a shitty mood now," Mandy said, nudging Mickey's side as she walked out of the class room. She was followed by the rest of the class, a few glancing at Mickey but immediately looking away when he stared back. He picked up his stuff and was just about to take off when Mr. Sterns appeared.

"Milkovich, get in here," he says. He tried to make it sound threatening but that was kind of hard to do so while wearing a cardigan.

"Listen if you're just gonna lecture me about if I were to just apply myself I'd get better grades and all that shit you can save it. Cause I'm not interested," he mumbles boredly.

The blonde man ignores his rude comment and goes over to his desk. He pulls out a blue sheet of paper and presses it into Mickey's hands. "Here. Take this and consider it, Mikhailo. I think it'll really help," Sterns says.

Mickey looks down at the flyer. "After school Boxing" it read. Mickey immediacy looked up at him, confused. "Just read it." Mickey rolls his eyes and crumples up the paper, shoving it into his pocket.

"Not into boxing," he says, turning to leave.

"I know you act like you don't care but everyone cares about something, Mikhailo. Maybe this is the thing that you'll care about," he says after him.

_____________________________________

"So, what did he say to you?" Mandy asks. She presses her side against the locker next to Mickey's and looks at him curiously. He just shrugs and shakes his head

"Nothing really. Just told me I should join this gay boxing club after school. Told him I'm not interested," he says, slamming his locker shut.

Mandy frowns. "Mick, that actually sounds kinda cool. I mean you already like beating the shit outta people, might as well do it in a way were you can't get in trouble."

Mickey gives her a disbelieving look. No way was he doing this. He hadn't actually read the flyer but just from the title it sounded stupid. It would mean more time he'd have to spend with the kids here. But it would also mean more time away from Terry. And Mandy was right, he did enjoy a good beat down every once in a while. "I'm not doing it Mandy and that's final," he says, walking down the hall. Mandy groans and jogs after him.

"Come on, Mickey. It'll be cool. I've got a friend who does it and he said he really likes it. Even said they've got a lot of good boxers, but I bet you'd be the best," she teases, messing up his hair. He swats her hand away and flips her off before turning down the hallway where he had to go.

"Not gonna do it!" He calls.

"Your loss!" She calls back. Mickey just shakes his head and turns back around to start walking again only to run straight into another boy. Both of their books and folders fall to the ground and Mickey looks up angrily, staring into dark blue eyes and freckled skin.

"The fuck! Next time watch where you're going!" He says, shoving the kid in the shoulder. The boy glares at him.

"I was. You were the one that wasn't," he grumbles as he bends over and picks up his books. Mickey raises an eyebrow.

"What was that?" He asks. He squats down so that he's at eye level with the now kneeling down boy. "Why don't you speak up, mumbles."

"All I said was watch where the fuck you're going next time," he says. This time louder and staring directly at Mickey. Mickey snorts and stands back up, nodding.

"Okay.." he then kicks the kid hard in the stomach, successfully knocking him back and taking his breath away. "And next time, keep your fucking mouth closed." He picks up his books and shoves them into his backpack, walking to his next class.

He sits down and drops his bag to the ground. Mickey then reaches into his pocket and pulls out the crumpled up piece of blue paper. He bites his lip and leans back in his seat reading it over.

After School Boxing  
Grades 9-12  
@ Busters Gym ~ transportation provided  
3:00-5:30

Buster's Gym was on the north side, right with all the preppy teenagers who thought they were so much better than the south side. They weren't and Mickey knew that. Sure the south side kids weren't rich and most had been in juvie or would eventually end up in jail some day, but there were still some good ones in the bunch. Mickey was practically dying at the chance to beat those pricks up without any consequences. Boxing seemed cool anyways. Mickey would rather spend the afternoons with his knuckles wrapped up in tape and gloved, beating on some loser than have his dad beat on him. It was a no brainer.  
_____________________________________

The final bell rings and Mickey practically jumps out of his desk. He swings his bag onto his back, almost hitting a kid with it as he scurried out of the room. The flyer had mentioned something about meeting at some door on the other side of the school and the bus would leave ten minutes after the final bell. He walked through the halls, shoving a few kids out of his way before he made it to the door. He was surprised to see so many kids waiting. There was a girl with braided pigtails listening to her earbuds so loudly Mickey could hear them. A dark skinned boy with dark eyes sitting in the corner, his hood pulled over his head. And then there was the red headed boy Mickey had ran into. He was leaning against the wall, scribbling something down on his notebook but seeming utterly confused with it all. Mickey sighs and stands a bit away from everyone else, leaning against the painted brick wall.

Finally, the bus pulls up and parks by the doors. Mickey bypasses everyone and walks onto the bus. He goes to the last seat and takes his bag off, setting it on his lap. He leans back and looks out the window as the other kids board. Mickey was busy watching some dog run around like crazy across the street when he felt the seat next to him move and someone brush up against him. Mickey immediately scoots away and looks over at the kid.

The boy looks back at him and groans. "Great. It's you," he mumbles. Mickey rolls his eyes.

"Can't you go sit somewhere else?" Mickey grumbles.

The boy rolls his eyes. "You think I would of sat here if I didn't have to? All the other seats were taken," he says. He sets his bag on the ground and opens up his algebra book and notebook. Mickey lets out a heavy sigh and looks out the window, trying his best to ignore the other boy.

The bus ride passes agonizingly slow. Every time they'd hit a bump, the red head would accidentally slide over in the seat, touching Mickey. And every single time he did, Mickey would glare or curse at him.

"Dude, chill out, I'm not doing it on purpose. Maybe if this dumbass learned how to drive I'd actually be able to stay in my seat," he grumbles. That earns him the slightest smile from Mickey. It was more of a twitch of the lips than a smile, but he still noticed it.

Mickey quickly wipes his mouth with his hand and shakes his head. "Anyone can drive better than this fucker, but still. It's not hard to keep your ass on your side of the seat."

The rest of the ride was quiet between the two. Other kids laughed, talked and threw shit at eachother but the two boys in the last seat remained quiet. One studying and the other dozing off. Mickey's eyes open suddenly as the bus jerks to a stop, causing him and the rest of the kids to slam forward against the seat in front of them. "Learn how to drive, fuckhead!" Mickey yells. A few other kids laugh.

"Yeah! Jesus dude I can drive this pile of shit better than you!" The girl yells.

Mickey groans and rubs the side of his face that he hit and stood up, holding his bag in his hand. "Yo, get up," he says, nudging the ginger's side.

"Wait... I think I finally figure out this prob- hey!" He yells, looking up at Mickey as Mickey closes the boy's book.

"C'mon. I wanna get out of the seat," Mickey says. He pushes his way past the boy and walks off the bus.

"You know," the boy starts, running up the side walk to catch up to Mickey. "You don't have to be such a dick."

Mickey raises an eyebrow and looks at him. "Not being a dick. You were just in my way so I fucking moved you out of it," he says. He follows everyone else into the gym and looks around. It was nothing like a south side gym. This one had one corner that had treadmills, weights, stationary bikes, everything pretty much. The walls were freshly painted white with a think red strip wrapped around it. There were a half dozen punching bags, a locker room and a fairly new boxing ring. The gym itself was filled with north side kids, that were now all staring at the south side ones. Mickey felt a small smirk spread across his face, already getting excited to kick someone's ass in the ring.

Mickey snaps out of his little day dream and follows the other boys to the locker room. He glances over at the kid he sat with on the bus. "Hey, you got a pair of shorts I can borrow?" Mickey asks.

He laughs. "Seriously? After you were a dick to me you seriously think I'll let you use my shit?"

Mickey stared at him for a second before nodding. "Uh, yeah."

He laughs again and shakes his head, tossing a pair of shorts at Mickey. "I'm Ian by the way," the boy mumbles, tugging his jeans off.

Mickey nods. "Yeah, cool," he says. He pulls his dirty jeans off and slips into the pair of shorts from Ian.

"This is the part where you say your name too," Ian says, pulling the shorts on.

"Mickey," he says bluntly, shoving his bag into one of the lockers.

Minutes later after a boring explanation from one of the teachers on what to do, Mickey makes his way over to one of the punching bags. His hands were wrapped up in fresh, white tap, exposing his tatted fingers. He didn't bother with the gloves, not wanting them while he was just hitting a bag. He holds his hands up, moving up and down on the front of his feet before hitting the bag hard with his right fist. It sent a sting through his knuckles, but Mickey didn't mind. He held his hands back up and hit it with his left hand this time, the same stinging sensation returning. Mickey kept going, picking up his pace. His adrenaline surged through his body's, ending at his fists. It was the only thing keeping him from feeling the aching pain in his knuckles.

"Shit, man. You box before?" Ian asks, walking up next to Mickey. He glances at the boy before throwing another punch at the bag. After this, he stops. His breathing was rapid and irregular, sweat soaked his shirt and matted his hair to his forehead.

"First time," he says, he wipes his forehead on the back of his arm. Ian glances down at Mickey's hands and raises an eyebrow.

"You know you can use the gloves they give you," he says, pointing to a pair of bright red ones. Mickey nods. He looks down at his hands. He flexes and unflexs them. The skin around his knuckles and tattoos were red and raw. He could slowly feel the stinging sensation coming back, his adrenaline going away for the time being.

"Yeah, I know. Don't want them," he says, shrugging.

"Your loss. Your knuckles are gonna hurt like a fucker tomorrow." Ian walks over to a rack and picks up a pair of boxing mitts. He slips his hands into them and holds them up for Mickey. "Lets see what you got," he says, grinning.

Mickey smirks at him. He holds his hands up, covering his face and directs his attention on the mitts in front of him. He takes in a deep breath, slowing his breathing before serving a hard punch to Ian's right hand. The red head stumbles back a step. "Shit," he says, shaking his hand out. "You've got a nice punch." He holds the mitts back up and gives Mickey a tiny nod, wanting him to keep going.

Mickey punches his left hand, then his right and kept going and going. Ian was now used to his strength and easily held his place as Mickey punched the mitts on his hands. Eventually, Mickey tired himself out. He stops punching and stands straight up, resting his hands on top of his head. By now, he was dripping with sweat, his white shirt now slightly darker. "You should get in the ring," he says, pointing towards it. "That kid over there sitting on the bench, he's pretty good but someone needs to kick his ass today. He's cocky as hell so expect some shit talk from him," Ian says. Mickey glances over to the bench and saw the boy. He was taller than Mickey and slightly bigger. His hair was brown, buzzed short to his head and he had a cocky grin on his face. Without saying another word to Ian, Mickey walks off to the other boy and hits him gently in the shoulder.

"You and me?" He asks, pointing to the ring. The boy grins and stands up, sizing up Mickey. Mickey, unintimidated stares back.

"You gonna answer or just fucking stare at me like some perv all day?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

The boy laughs and nods. "Yeah, sure why not. I'm sure a piece of south side trash like yourself will be an easy win." Mickey scoffs and grabs a pair of red gloves, sliding them onto his hands. He ducks under the ropes and climbs into the ring. "You're gonna want a mouth guard if you don't want to choke on your own fucking teeth," the boy says, climbing in. Mickey flashes him a cocky grin.

"Yeah, okay. Lets see what you got, north side," Mickey says back. The boy puts his neon green mouth guard in and motions for Mickey to come at him. Mickey puts his fists up to protect his face and slowly moved closer to the boy until they were less than arms length away. Mickey throws the first punch. He aims for the boy's face but at the last second he ducks and nails Mickey right in the stomach. Mickey doubles over and backs up a bit. The boy grins. "Last chance to get a mouth guard."

"Fuck you," Mickey says angrily. He approaches the boy and swings his left fist at him. Once again the boy ducks and hits Mickey in the face, splitting his lip. Mickey touched his lip to his arm and looks at the blood.  His jaw clenches and he glared at the kid. No way was he letting a preppy north side kid kick his ass. Mickey approaches the blonde as his adrenaline returns. This time, more of it than before. He throws a punch to the face but Mickey ducks it and lands one of his own in the boy's stomach. He stumbles backwards and Mickey takes the chance to attack. His left arm swings out and hits the kid on the side of the head. His right arm swings out and hits him under the chin. The boy, stunned from the hits, stumbles back against the ropes. He tries to regain his balance and swings at Mickey, but the punch was weak and Mickey easily swatted it away with his arm. He punches the kid again in the stomach so that he was hunched over and starts pounding his fists into the kid's face. He serves a left hook into his cheek and the kid falls to his knees. "Okay... okay," the kid mumbles, blood dripping from his lip. "I'm throwing in the fucking towel," he says, rolling onto his back. Mickey stared down at him and gives him a cocky grin.

"You know, you're lucky you had your fucking mouth guard. Could have chocked on your teeth if you didn't," he says. He turns to leave the ring and looks around. Mickey hadn't realized that everyone in the gym had stopped to watch the new boxer fight. The north side kids all seemed pissed, but all of the south side was giving him grins and thumbs up.

"Dude, you fucking rock!" The girl with the braided pig tails says. Mickey doesn't grin or say thanks. He just climbs out of the ring and goes to the drinking fountain. He removed the boxing gloves and tosses them into a bench. He then ducks his head, clicks the button for the water to start coming out and takes a long much needed sip. He then cups some of the water in his hands and splashes it onto his face. Mickey stands up, the water drips from his face and down onto his t-shirt.

"You know the guy you fought? His name was Chase. He's a really good fucking fighter. Not gonna lie, I'm surprised you beat him for your first time boxing. I still can't beat the guy," Ian says. The two boys now sat on the bus, the same seat as before. "Hello, earth to Mickey," Ian says, waving his hand in front of the boy's face. Mickey immediately swats his hand away and glared at him.

"Yeah, I fucking heard you," he says.

"Then you could of said something," Ian mumbles. Ian pulls out his homework and sprawled it across his lap. He squinted and stared down closely, trying to see in the dim light. Mickey sat with his head against the window, eyes slipping closed. He yawns and forces his eyes open, not wanting to fall asleep on the bus. He glances over at Ian, who was struggling on the same math problem as before.

"You're supposed to divide it by the two, not multiple," he mumbles. He folds his arms over his chest and looks back out the window.

Ian looks over at Mickey, confused. He then looks back down at his work and erases the whole thing. He wipes off the eraser shavings and redoes the problem, this time doing it the way Mickey had said. Once he finishes he stares down at it and then up at Mickey. "Shit, dude, you were right," he says, smiling. "Thanks." Mickey doesn't turn and look at him or do anything to even prove that he had heard Ian. He just continues to look out the window, now a small smile on his lips.


	2. 12 Year Olds Suck at Video Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No fucking way. The game cheated!" Mickey says angrily and Ian laughs at him.
> 
> "You're just pissed off that I won finally," he says. They had been playing call of duty for a couple hours now and they were continuously competing to see who scored higher on the scoreboard.
> 
> "It's not even fucking fair though. I have this dumbass twelve year old on my team who was too busy insulting anyone else to actually play," he says.

Mickey woke up the next day around noon. It was Saturday afternoon and for some odd reason, the house was kind of quiet. Normally Mickey would wake up to the sounds of his brothers arguing or Terry stumbling around drunkenly. But today it was quiet other than the sound of the wind, causing the older house to creak. Mickey groans and sits up in his bed, rubbing his eyes. He pulled on a pair of his sweat pants before shuffling out of his bedroom. He squinted a bit as the light from outside poured in. Terry was passed out on the couch so Mickey practically tip toed past him, not wanting to wake him. He takes one more glance back at him before opening the fridge and taking one of the beers. He cracks it open and tosses the cap towards the trash can, leaving it on the floor as it misses. He takes a long sip and starts to walk back to his room when Terry grabs him roughly by the wrist. Mickey chokes a bit on the beer and looks down at him, eyes wide.

"Colin said you fucking took my last pack of cigarettes?" He grumbles. The man sits up on the couch and rubs his eyes, staring at his son.

"The fuck? No way! That was him!" He lies. Mickey would have never of taken them if he knew they were Terry's final pack. But Mickey had ran out of his own cigarettes and the pack was just sitting on the kitchen counter, way too tempting to pass up. Terry moves so quickly, that Mickey didn't even have time to react. He gets off of the couch and slams Mickey up against the wall, causing him to drop the beer on the ground.

"Don't fucking lie to me, boy. You'll just make this worse on yourself," he says as he grabs Mickey by the throat.

He shakes his head quickly and grabs at Terry's hands. "I didn't touch them! I've been trying to quit!" Before he knew it, Terry's hand came down onto the side of his face, splitting his eyelid open. "Fuck..."

"Save that bullshit for someone else. You fucking tell me the goddamn truth, Mickey or I swear to god. You won't be able to walk for a week after I'm done with you."

It was the smarter option to just admit to his crime and take the punishment, knowing it would be easier than if he didn't confess. But Mickey's pride was getting in the way. He didn't want to admit that he had screwed up and he definitely didn't want his dad knowing that he was right. It would go straight to the man's head. "Like I said... I didn't touch your fucking cigarettes," he says in a harsh tone.

The beating didn't last long, compared to most bearings Terry gave him. The last hit he remembered was one that knocked him off his feet. Terry's fist had collided with his jaw and Mickey lost his balance in the spilt alcohol, falling onto his ass. His head felt heavy, almost too heavy to even hold up. "Fuck," he groans. He reaches his hand up and touches the side of his head. It was sticky and warm, the red liquid staining his finger tips. He held onto the table in front of him as he forced himself back up to his feet. He then stumbled to his bed room and in spite of Terry, pulls out the stolen cigarette pack. He places one between his lip and flops down on the bed. He cups his cigarette and lights it. It was official, Mickey was going to kill Colin.

_____________________________________

"Mandy, I'm telling you, you can do so much better than that asshole!" Ian says, his gloved hand holding Mandy's. Mandy rolls his eyes.

"Ian, c'mon he's hot, and he's... he's not the worse," she says shrugging. Mandy had been hanging out with Ian since nine that morning and the main topic of their conversations was Mandy's current boy toy. His name was Bennet and to Ian, he was a douchebag. He never hung out with Mandy unless he wanted to fuck and they never went on real dates. He was just using her and he knew Mandy knew it too. Ian didn't understand why she wouldn't just dump his ass.

"Not the worse? Mandy all he does is take your weed and fuck with you. He doesn't treat you the way you should be treated." Mandy grins at that and playfully pats Ian's cheek.

"Aw look at you, getting all protective of me. Ian, in case you haven't noticed I've grown up south side. I think I know how to care for myself," she says. Mandy sits down on a park bench and pulls Ian down next to her. It was middle of November and the air had definitely started to cool down. It was in the forties and cloudy, making it seem even colder than it truly was. She scoots closer to Ian and he drapes his arm over her shoulders. "Lets stop talking about this shit, okay? I'm actually kinda excited to meet up with him later."

"And leave me? Ouch I see how it is," Ian teases and Mandy punches his arm.

"Fuck you," she says, grinning. "How's boxing going?"

Ian smiles and shrugs. "It was pretty good I guess. There's this new kid, Mickey. He's never boxed before but holy shit, I've never seen so much pent up anger in my life. The kid's a fucking good boxer."

Mandy's eyes go wide and she hits Ian in the chest. "Mickey? That's my brother shithead. Hmm, I didn't know that he actually joined boxing. He said he wasn't gonna do it."

Ian looks at her. "Mickey's your brother? Jesus how are you two related? He's just so...."

Mandy laughs. "He's a dick, I know. We have a few of the same classes together and the fucker never stops. He doesn't care who you are or what you are, he'll find an excuse to pick on you."

Ian laughs and shakes his head. "You're telling me. Asshole ran into me in the hall and said it was my fault.... he seems like he could be pretty cool though. Helped me with my math homework."

"Okay, never mind. There's no way the Mickey you're talking about is my brother. He got held back a year and took another year off. My point is, there's no way in hell he could have helped you with your math when he doesn't even do his own."

"I'm telling you he did! I mean it was only one problem but still. I had been working on that problem all afternoon and he figured it out in a matter of seconds," he says, shaking his head. Mandy laughs and stands up.

"Yeah, okay, Ian. Anyways, I'm gonna get going," she says, kissing Ian's cheek. "See you later!" She says before leaving.

Ian stays on the park bench for a while. His house was loud and he wasn't in the mood to listen to them all. He just wanted some quiet even if that meant sacrificing the warmth of his house for the cold Chicago air. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his pack of cigarettes. He places one between his lips before swapping his pack for a lighter. He was just about to light it when he saw another boy in the park. He was walking along the trail, black hood pulled over his head and a cigarette in his mouth. Ian frowns a bit. From the sliver of the kid's face that he could see under the hood, he could tell it was Mickey Milkovich and his face was all bruised and bloodied. "Mickey!" Ian calls, jogging over to him. Mickey ignores him. He keeps his hands in his pockets and head down as he continued down the trail. "Hey, wait!" He calls again before catching up to him. Ian panted softly before taking in a deep breath to steady his breathing. "Hey, I was just with your sister," he says awkwardly. "You okay?"

Mickey glances over at Ian for a second but continues walking. "The fuck do you want?"

"Um, nothing, but I, uh, your face, dude. It looks pretty bad. What the hell happened?" Ian asks cautiously. It was obvious Mickey wasn't the friendliest person ever, but Ian kinda liked the boy and he wanted to make sure he was okay.

Mickey stops walking and turns to look at Ian. "And tell me why that is any of your fucking business?" He asks, shoving Ian back, off of the trail. Mickey still had leftover anger from before. He wanted to kick the crap out of Ian and it was taking everything in his power not to.

Ian throws his hands up in self defense. "It's not... I guess. I just wanted to know. If you want... you could come back to my place. I could get you an ice pack or some shit," he says. His eyes were glued to Mickey's face. He had been boxing for two months now, but he had never seen a kid so beaten up before. Mickey had a busted open lip, his left eye was slightly swollen and bruised, his eyelid was cut and he had several other small wounds on his face. But the thing that put Ian on edge the most were the small finger like bruises on his neck.

"Exactly, it's not. So fuck off," Mickey says, starting to walk again. He flicks his cigarette out on the ground and stomps on it with his boot.

"Wanna go to the gym with me? If you bring your school id they'll let you in and you can use the shit for free," Ian says.

Mickey shakes his head. "Got plans already."

"Okay fine, no gym. How about we hangout at my place? I've got beer and video games. It's a bargain in my opinion," he says, smiling at the older boy. Mickey chews his lip and glances up at Ian. He was right, it sounded like a good bargain. Free beer, video games without the fear of Terry lurking around any corner. It was hard to say no.

"Fine. Beer and video games for a bit but then I gotta be somewhere," he lies, shoving his hands back into his pockets. Ian grins and nods, already starting to walk towards his house before Mickey could change his mind. They walked in silence to Ian's house, Mickey staying a couple of paces behind Ian. Once there, Ian opens the door and leads Mickey inside.

"It's kinda messy. Not that you'd give a shit though," Ian says, shrugging off his jacket. "You hungry? I could make some pizza rolls."

Mickey shakes his head as he goes over to Ian's tv. "Just video games and beer," he reminds and Ian nods. As Mickey sets up the game, Ian goes to grab a few beers.

_____________________________________

"No fucking way. The game cheated!" Mickey says angrily and Ian laughs at him.

"You're just pissed off that I won finally," he says. They had been playing call of duty for a couple hours now and they were continuously competing to see who scored higher on the scoreboard.

"It's not even fucking fair though. I have this dumbass twelve year old on my team who was too busy insulting anyone else to actually play," he says. Ian had let mickey wear the headset so that he could talk to his team and maybe it wasn't the best idea on Ian's part but it was kind of funny listening to him insult everyone the whole time.

"Hey, I heard that! And I'm thirteen and twelve!" The kid says through the headset.

"Still fucking suck no matter how old you are," he mutters, taking the headset off so that he didn't have to listen to him anymore.

Ian laughs.  "You done insulting your team now? I mean maybe you would have kept up your winning streak if you weren't so busy calling everyone dickwads and faggots on your own team!" He says, shaking his head.

Mickey rolls his eyes. He picks up his beer before leaning back and kicking his feet up on the table. His shoes were off and revealed a his dirty white socks, were one of them had a hole so his big toe stuck out. "Hey, if you're that young and suck that much, you shouldn't be playing."

Ian raises an eyebrow. "You're seriously going to judge a kid for doing something that he might be too young to be doing?" He asks, gesturing towards the beer Mickey was downing.

Mickey flips him off before setting his empty beer on the table. He pulls his phone out of his pocket as it vibrates. "Set up another game. I'm not ending on a loss," he mumbles, looking down at his screen.

Braydon {4:04} : meet me at my place at 6. Got senior girls and a couple of the guys coming.

Mickey chews his lip as his finger hovers over the screen. He'd much rather play video games or just head home instead, but for some reason his fingers moved without listening to him, typing out his reply.

Mickey {4:05} : c u then.

He sends the text and slips his phone back into his pocket, grabbing the controller and slipping the headset back on. "Okay, Gallagher. You're going down," he says, grinning.

"Honestly I'm not sure you should be allowed to use the headset anymore. You're gonna get me banned from Xbox live and it fucking took lip forever to even figure out how to get it for free," he mumbles as the game starts.

Mickey laughs. "I'm just telling them the - what the fuck are you doing!? Why the fuck would you even do that!" He says angrily into the mic, causing Ian to laugh.

The game goes on and this time, Mickey wins. "So what is that for you? Your 10th loss or something like that?" He teases, smirking.

Ian rolls his eyes and swats the controller out of his hand. "You're a dick. You probably play this more than me."

Mickey laughs and picks the controller back up. "Yeah, but I play with my brothers or Mandy and they all fucking suck. There's no competition in it."

"So you're saying there's at least competition with me?" He asks, grinning.

Mickey flips him off before taking the headset off and setting it on the couch between them. "Fuck you, don't get cocky. You still suck," he says, standing up. "I'm gonna get going though. I got shit to do."

Ian nods and sets the controller down. "Okay. I'll see you later," he says.

"Later, faggot," Mickey calls back before leaving.

Braydon was always the one that would throw parties or get everyone over to his house to hang out. The only thing Mickey liked about it was that most of the times when he did have everyone over, he'd get hammered. Drunk enough that Mickey could steal his weed and cash without the poor guy even knowing.

Mickey makes his way home and walks inside. The kicks his shoes off and was about to walk to his bedroom as Mandy's bedroom door opens and closes. "Hey, I'm gonna - what the fuck!" He had looked up, expecting to see Mandy but much to his surprise, saw a naked guy instead.

The boy's eyes go wide and he blushes brightly. "Uh, hey? Sorry I'm here with Mandy," he says, quickly covering himself up with a pillow. He then points to Mickey's room. "That's your room? Mandy told me there should be condoms in there," he says.

"No fucking way," he says. Mickey wanted to kick the guy in the dick just for touching his sister but the issue with that was that he'd be touching his bare dick. Nothing in between and that was not something Mickey was about to do. "Get out of my fucking house!"

Mandy hurried out of her room, a blanket wrapped around her. "Mickey! Um... hey? C'mon.... just forget the condom," she says. She grabs the guy's hand and quickly pulls him back into her room, shutting the door. Mickey lets out a heavy sigh and walks to his room, making sure to shut and lock the door.

_____________________________________

"Hey, Ian!" Fiona called. It was seven o'clock and she had finally gotten home from a long day at work. Her hair was a mess and she had spaghetti sauce splattered on her shirt.

"Yeah!" He calls back, coming down the stairs. He grins when he smells the delicious sent of spaghetti.

"I don't think I have enough noodles here. Can you and Lip run to the store real quick for me?" She asks. Ian nods and smiles. He knew Fiona was always swamped with work and money problems and he always tried to help out as much as he could.

"Yeah," he says. He goes over to the door and slips into his shoes. "Lip! We're going to the store!"

A minute later Lip comes down the stairs, cigarette between his lips. "What're we doing?" He asks, shrugging his coat on.

"Store. Fiona needs pasta," he says. The two boys head out of the house and walk down the street, towards the Kash and Grab. It was completely dark by now and Ian shivered a bit under his coat. He glances over at Lip. "You still thinking about going to college?"

Lip shrugs. "I don't know. I was dead set on it at first. But now, I've got no fucking clue." He tosses his cigarette to the ground and butts it out with the heel of his boot.

Ian nods. "If you did you could get a job that pays a shit ton. Instead of working around here all your life."

"Yeah, but at what cost? I'll have to pay for college fees, listen to boring teachers lecture me over shit I already know and I'll be wasting a few years of my life."

Ian rolls his eyes. "Whatever, Lip. But I'm telling you it's the smarter option to go," he says, pushing open the door to the shop. Kash immediately looks up when he sees Ian, a huge smile spreading across his face.

"Hey, Ian," he says.

Ian forces a small smile. "What's up, Kash?" Ian worked there three times a week or five days a week during the summer. But recently he had thought about quitting. Sure he was getting ass working there, but he didn't want that ass to be attached to Kash anymore. It was just too uncomfortable and gross for him. It felt more of a chore than a liking.

Lip walks in behind Ian and immediately glared at the man behind the counter. "Grab the noodles. I'm gonna get a couple other things," he says. He boys go up and down the few aisles before they get what they need. Ian places the noodles on the counter and next him, Lip places down a box of fruit loops, salt and vinegar chips and a gallon of milk.

"Don't worry about if," Kash says. "I'll just take it out of your pay check for next week." He gives Ian a knowing look and Ian's face goes red.

"Uh, thanks Kash," he says. He waits as the man bags his stuff and takes it from him, nodding his thanks again before the two boys leave.

"You need to stop," lip says.

"Stop what?"

"Stop fucking around with that guy in order to get shit for free," lip says. It was no secret the Gallagher's had little money, but the last thing Lip wanted was for Ian to be sleeping around with a creepy older man for pasta noodles and cereal.

Ian sighs and kicks a rock with his shoe. "And what? Let us fucking starve? We don't have the cash to be getting groceries every week so I have to make up for it somehow."

"Then work more hours, sell some old clothes. Do anything other than sleep with that fucking perv," Lip says, looking over at his younger brother. Ian looks up at him. He knew Lip was right. Ian didn't want to keep hooking up with Kash for free stuff, but he felt it was their only option. He nods slightly.

"Okay... I'll think of a different way," he whispers. "I promise."


	3. Happy Beginnings Sad endings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The younger boy pulled his shirt over his head and stuffed it into his backpack. Mickey was about to reach down to pull out his own clothes but his eyes caught sight of Ian shirtless. Mickey was kind of surprised to see how toned he was. He was slightly pale and freckles scattered his shoulders and chest. Mickey licked his lips before quickly looking away. He hated these little urges he'd get. The ones where he'd see a boy and feel something. Something like attraction to them. Most of the time he'd just ignore them, push the feeling to the side and didn't take a second look. But it was kind of difficult this time.

"Why didn't you tell me you joined boxing?" Mandy asks. The two siblings had their winter coats on along with scarves as they made their way to school. It had started to snow slightly, the white flakes falling into the two's hair.

He shrugs. "Cause it's not important," he mumbles, lips wrapped around a cigarette. This time he had packed his own clothes and even brought two gatorades for wrestling. He had been trying to convince himself that he had brought them both for himself. But he had specifically placed them in his bag with the intensions of giving one to Ian. Last weekend when they had hung out and Mickey was downing beer after beer, Ian was doing the same thing, except with gatorades. So the next day after school he had stolen a whole pack of yellow ones and hid them from his brothers so he could bring them to wrestling.

"Do you like it? Ian said you were pretty fucking good at it," she says. She pulls her black hat farther down over her ears and shivers slightly. She reaches up to steal Mickey's cigarette only to get her hand swatted away.

"Yeah, it's pretty cool," he says, passing the cigarette over. "I mean I get to beat the shit outta some north siders. It's fucking great. Kicked this one kid's ass yesterday. Kid got one or two good punches in but that was it. I dropped him in a matter of minutes." Sure Mickey was proud of that, but he had done it before. It wasn't the first time a cocky northsider got put in their place by Mickey. But what Mickey was more proud about, was the fact that Ian had actually mentioned him to Mandy. He grinned a bit and looked down at his shoes.

Mandy raises an eyebrow and nudges his side. "What's got you all full of grins and shit?" She asks. Mickey rolls his eyes and shrugs.

"Nothing." He runs a hand across his lips, wiping the smile away. He clears his threat and looks up at her. "Later," he mumbles before walking into the school.

Like usual, Mickey hangs out with the same few kids before class. They stand in the middle of the hallway, practically blocking it for anyone else. "Dude, you were upstairs with Angie for a fucking hour," Alex says, grinning.

Mickey laughs. "She's a good fuck, man. 10 outta 10 would recommend for you to tap that ass too." The reason it had taken so long was because it took Mickey twenty minutes to get hard and it was almost impossible to keep it that way. He had to use his imagination in ways that disgusted him but worked. As soon as he replaced Angie's soft chest for a toned chest of a male and replaced her face with that of a hot actor from a magazine, Mickey was good to go.

Alex laughs and shakes his head. "Pretty sure I already have. Everyone here probably has."

Mickey laughs but the laugh doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Whatever. I gotta get going. I, uh, gotta go to the library and look up something on the computer," he lies, walking off. His friends always got on his nerves. Constantly talking about hooking up with some new chick or how they went to this awesome party over the weekend. Mickey didn't give a shit about those things.

_____________________________________

The day passes as usual. He gets kicked out of first hour again for sleeping in class, he fails his test in second hour and they spent all of third hour watching a movie. As soon as the lunch bell rang, Mickey was out of his seat. He swings his bag onto his back and walks down the halls. He shoves a few kids out of his way as he makes his way through the crowded halls. Mickey pushes open the lunch room doors and the sent of cheap lunch food practically smacks him in the face. He walks towards his usual table when he sees Ian Gallagher, sitting by himself. Mickey grins a bit to himself. His friends would probably question why he was sitting with Ian, but he doubted any of them would be looking anyways. He walks over to Ian and once he's close enough he tugs on Ian's backpack, practically pulling the kid out of his seat. "What the - Mickey? Fuck, man. You scared the shit outta me," Ian says, finally dropping his bag to the ground.

Mickey laughs and sits down next to him. "I barely even tugged on it, pussy," he teases.

Ian rolls his eyes and grabs his brown paper bag from his backpack. "You sitting with us today?"

Mickey shrugs. "Yeah, I might. That okay?" He asks, not really caring what Ian's answer was anyways. Ian nods, taking a bite of his ham and cheese sandwich.

"I don't mind. But Mandy sits her too along with a couple other kids."

Mickey shrugs. "That's fine, I don't really give a shit."

The two sit in silence for a few moments, Ian eating his sandwich and Mickey fiddling with his fingers. Finally the table starts to fill up, Mandy and her boy toy sitting down across from Mickey. "Hey, Mick," she says, grinning.

Mickey raises an eyebrow and points to her lunch tray. "How the fuck did you get that?" Normally the two of them didn't have the kinda cash to be spending on a hot lunch every day. Mandy grins and hugs the boy next to her.

"He bought it for me," she says. Mickey's gaze immediately switches over to the boy. His skin was dark but he had these bright green eyes that stared directly back at Mickey.

"Hm, well next time don't," he says, continuing to look at him. "She doesn't need your fucking charity."

"Mickey, hey it's fine. He doesn't mind paying for it," she says softly. She knew how her brother got and normally she was the same way. Neither of them liked to accept charity from anyone. It was the way all of the Milkovich kids were.

"Hey, are you going to boxing tonight?" Ian asks. He saw the dangerous turn this conversation was taking and as much as he hated the guy, he didn't want to see Mickey pound his face in.

Mickey looks over at him. "Uh, yeah. Why?" he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

Ian shrugs, taking a sip of his water. "Just wondering. I was gonna fight this one kid. He's been talking shit about me for weeks now," he says. "Kids a fucking asshole."

Mickey grins a bit. Seeing Ian fight would be something Mickey would pay to see. "You ever fight him before?" Ian shakes his head.

"Nah, every time I ask him to fight, he pussies out on me. But not this time. Imma make sure he gets in the ring with me."

_____________________________________

Mickey boarded the bus and just like last time, took a seat all the way in the back, immediately slouching down in it. A second later the weight on the bench shifts and Mickey glances over to see Ian sitting down. Mickey almost smiled but quickly rubbed his mouth with his tatted fingers to hide it.

"Hey," Ian says, a little breathless. He had ran all the way to the bus so he wouldn't miss it. He got stuck in algebra, asking the teacher for help over their new unit. Ian was a good student. He did his homework, studied, but algebra just wasn't for him.

Mickey glances over at him. "Hey," he says back, folding his arms over his chest. This time the two sat in silence. Ian once again had his green notebook out, scribbling down math equations and constantly erasing them. Mickey just stared out the window. Fifteen minutes passed until the bus stopped in front of the gym and all of the south side students got out. Mickey followed Ian into the locker room and dropped his bag on the bench, Ian doing the same.

The younger boy pulls his shirt over his head and stuffs it into his backpack. Mickey was about to reach down to pull out his own clothes but his eyes caught sight of Ian shirtless. Mickey was kind of surprised to see how toned he was. He was slightly pale and freckles scattered his shoulders and chest. Mickey licked his lips before quickly looking away. He hated these little urges he'd get. The ones where he'd see a boy and feel something. Something like attraction to them. Most of the time he'd just ignore them, push the feeling to the side and didn't take a second look. But it was kind of difficult this time.

"Would you mind helping me out with the bag today?" Ian asks, slipping into his shorts. Mickey glances over at him and shrugs.

"Sure," he mumbles, pulling his own shirt over his head and changing. "Oh, uh here." Mickey reaches into his bag and pulls out a Gatorade, tossing it to Ian.

Ian looks down at it before looking up at Mickey, smiling. "Thanks," he says and Mickey nods. Ian was surprised that Mickey had bought him the Gatorade or most likely stole it. He knew it was a small gesture coming from anyone else. But from Mickey, it was surprising.

  
The two boys walk out and wrap their knuckles up in the white tape. "Okay," he says. "Can you put on the gloves first for me? I wanna hit those for a bit if you don't mind." Mickey nods and shrugs.

"Yeah, no problem." He slips on the fading blue mitts and held them up for Ian. "Lets see how much of a pussy you are," he teases.

Ian chuckled. "You'd be surprised" he says. "I actually hit pretty damn hard." He winds his arms back and punches Mickey's right hand. Mickey didn't budge, but the punch was definitely hard and Mickey was surprised but of course he wouldn't tell Ian that. He was too prideful to compliment the older boy.

"Keep going, Gallagher," Mickey encourages. The two do that for a while. They stay off in the corner, Ian continuously pounding onto the mitts. Mickey could feel his hands stinging underneath, but his focus was somewhere else. Ian was sweating, his grey shirt sticking to his stomach. Mickey's eyes kept going back to the sight. He'd try to focus on Ian's punching and the mitts, but his eyes continued to wonder.

"Mickey," Ian says again, snapping Mickey out of his little trance. "I'm just gonna get a drink real quick. Then I'll put them on for you," he says before walking off. Mickey takes the mitts off and tosses them on top of the bench, sitting down next to them. He runs his hand through his sweaty hair and stares down at his feet. He knew he had to get himself together and get his head out of his ass. He was being ridiculous.

Ian comes back a few moments later and smiles. "Okay," he says, grabbing the mitts.

"Didn't you say you wanted to fight that kid today? Why don't you? I'll just hit the bag for a while," Mickey says, standing back up. Ian, a little disappointed, nods slowly.

"Yeah, okay. You sure?" Mickey nods, already walking off to the bag. He made sure the tape was secure around his fingers before he started to throw punch after punch onto the bag. And it worked for a while, to hold his attention. Sweat dripped from his hair down his neck and forehead but Mickey kept going. That was until he heard someone hit the ground in the ring. He looked over and saw a sweaty Ian Gallagher standing over some guy. Ian was smaller than the other boy, but he seemed stronger. Even as the boy got back up and got a good punch in, Mickey knew Ian was going to win. He could see it in his eyes, his determination. It was actually kinda hot. He stood there, watching the fight until it was over. The boy, laid on his back, panting and Ian walked off, going to the locker room to change.  Mickey waits a few moments before walking in after him.

"Hey," he says, taking a swig of his Gatorade. "You actually weren't that big of a pussy as I thought you were gonna be."

Ian laughs, wiping his sweat off on a towel. "Thanks I guess." The two boys towel off, neither one wanting to shower in a public place. After everyone else finishes up, they load onto the bus again, Mickey sitting next to Ian. "Hey, if you're gonna be here tomorrow, I can bring you a Gatorade this time," he offers, smiling. "It can be like our thing. I'll bring you one one day and you the next."

Mickey raises an eyebrow. "Our thing? The fuck does that even mean?"

Ian's eyes go a bit wide and he quickly shakes his head. "I didn't mean it in like a, uh, in like a weird way or some shit. Just... just forget I said anything," he rambles quickly.

Mickey stayed silent for a few moments, tapping his tatted finger against his thigh. He wanted to have "a thing" with Ian. It sounded kinda nice quite frankly. Mickey never had friends other than the guys he smoked with, but with Ian it was different. Mickey actually wanted to hangout with him while he was sober. He had fun with Ian and didn't just use him to get free shit from, though free gatorades would be a plus. It was just the commitment of it. Having someone rely on him was scary even if it was over something as stupid as a Gatorade bottle.

"We can do... that thing you said," Mickey mumbles. Ian glances over at him, surprise evident in his eyes as he nods.

"Okay cool. I'll bring a blue Gatorade for you tomorrow."

By the time Mickey got home the snow had now completely covered the streets. He walked through the freezing snow, the liquid freezing his feet. His shoes had a small tear on the side and a hole in the heal making it an easy access way for the snow to get in. He cursed to himself and muttered as he nearly slipped on ice, walking up the path to his house. He opened the door and walked in. The boy was exhausted. His hair was freezing and wet from a mixture of snow and sweat, he stunk of sweat and his hands killed. So when he saw Terry laughing with a couple of other guys at the kitchen table, it was a very unwelcoming sight. Terry glances at his son from the corner of his eye and grins. "Mickey! Just in time. Got the guys over here," he says, as if Mickey knew who "the guys" were. "This is Mickey. The mistake," he half jokes and the guys laugh along. "Get your ass over here," he grumbles.

Mickey drops his bag and takes his coat off, tossing it on top of the bag and walks over. "Jesus, you smell like shit," Terry says.

"Was at boxing," he mumbles, slumping down in a seat. He wanted nothing more than to just go to bed, but he knew that wasn't happening. Terry occasionally did little things like this. Where he'd get Mickey and try to get him to hang out with him. It was his way of making sure Mickey grew up to be just like him and his siblings. Terry opens up a beer and hands it to Mickey, who takes it gratefully.

"Hey, Ter, I hear there's another fag in town," one of the guys say. He smiles, revealing his tobacco stained teeth.

"Who the fuck is it? Haven't had one of'em here in a few months. Thought we scared them all off," Terry says, chuckling.

"And get this.... it's Bryan's kid. Remember the guy that hangs out in the bar with us sometimes? Well apparently his boy had been sneaking around behind his back, having some sort of queerbo sex. And when Bryan found out, guess what he did?"

"Kill the fucker?" Terry asks.

"No! He fucking said whatever! He doesn't give a shit that his kid is a faggot! The second he told me that I popped the fucker right in the face!"

Terry slams his fist on the table. "Are you fucking serious!? What the fuck is happening around here. Apparently now it's okay to be a faggot. Just glad my boys didn't catch whatever Bryan's kid did. None of'em are faggots," he says, ruffling Mickey's hair. "Ain't that right?"

Mickey wanted to punch Terry right in the fucking face. He didn't get it, why the guy was so hateful against a certain group of people. But of course he couldn't say that. He knew if Terry and his friends found out he was a "faggot", they'd kill him. Mickey laughs and nods. "Damn right. Fuck the faggot. If I see him walking around I'll kick his ass."

Terry grins, proud of his son. "Damn right. That's my boy right here!" He says. The other guys laugh.

"You're lucky, man. That your boys are headed down the right path. All you gotta teach them is to steal, lie, and like pussy."

Mickey sat there for half an hour longer, listening to their horrendous conversations before he was finally able to leave. He went to his room and shut the door behind him. He ran a hand over his face before the same hand came back and smashed into the wall. "Fuck!" He whispers harshly but he does it again and again, his knuckles aching and bleeding. He hated himself. Hated who he was, who he liked. "Not a fucking faggot," he mutters, punching the wall again. "I'm not a fucking faggot," he repeats. He knew he couldn't be. There wasn't an option to like boys because in this house and in this neighborhood, he'd get the shit beaten out of him for it. Maybe he just needed to find some new girls to fuck, maybe then he'd feel something. And those times when he'd pull out his gay porn magazine that was hidden inside of a magazine full of bikini models, it meant nothing. He went to his underwear drawer and opened it up, pulling out the magazine. He grabs a lighter from his pocket and lights the magazine on fire, tossing it into the empty garbage can. He sat there on the edge of his bed, watching it until the paper burned so much the magazine was unrecognizable. He poured water over the last of the flames and flopped down on his bed. He laid there, staring up at the sealing as the laughter from the older men continued into the late night. "I'm not a fucking faggot," he whispers once more. This time he forces his eyes to stay shut, eventually falling asleep.


	4. It's a Wonderful Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a slightly early Christmas gift for you guys :) hope you all have a good holiday season

The last several weeks were supposed to be some of the most stressful for high school students. But not to Mickey. He hadn't studied for a single one of his finals and he simply didn't give a shit. Totally fine with getting all F's since he was planning on dropping out soon anyways. It was now day three of winter break which meant it was also Christmas Eve. The holidays for the Milkovich's were never anything special. If anything it just made the tensions in the house worse.

"Iggy, I'm not fucking around. Where is my pocket knife? I just got that thing," he mutters.

Iggy rolls his eyes, still focused on the video game in front of him. "Don't fuckin' know. Ask Colin," he mumbles, not fully listening to Mickey. Outside there was at least  half a foot of snow on the ground and more coming as white flakes fell from the clouded sky.

"I'm not stupid, dick breath. I had it yesterday and now I don't. Colin wasn't even home yesterday," he says.

"Then I don't know! Go ask Dad!" He yells. Mickey walks over to the tv and rips the PlayStation out from the tv. "What the fuck!" Iggy yells angrily, slamming the controller onto the couch.

Mickey smirks at him and backs away. "Give me my knife back and I'll give you your game."

"You're fucking dead!" Iggy chases after his younger brother. Mickey hurtles over the couch and Iggy tries to do the same but trips, making Mickey laugh.

"Come on, faggot. You gonna get it or what?" Mickey taunted. He rounded the kitchen and ran to his room. He tried to pull the door shut but couldn't do it before Iggy got his hand in the way. The older boy pushes on the door until Mickey stumbles backwards and falls on his floor. Iggy climbs on top of him, hands grabbing onto his shirt and slamming him back down. Mickey throws an elbow up that hits Iggy hard enough to knock him off. He then climbs on top of him and holds an arm against his chest. "Tell me where it's at," he threatens. Mickey collects spit in his mouth and threatens to spit on his brother's face, the salvia slowly dripping closer to Iggy.

"It's in my fucking underwear drawer! Now get off of me." Mickey smirks and climbs off of him, making his way to his brother's room. He goes to his Iggy and Colin's room and cringed as he reaches his hands into the drawer full of boxers. "Fucking disgusting," he mumbles. He rifles through it but doesn't find it. "Son of a bitch!" He yells, slamming the drawer closed. "Iggy you fucking liar!" Mickey walks out of the bedroom and out to the living room. He glances at the couch where Ian Gallagher was now sitting. He looked completely uncomfortable and out of place. "The fuck are you doing here?"

"Uh, I'm waiting for Mandy. She's coming over to my place," he says.

"You seen Iggy?" He asks. Ian points to the front door. Mickey immediately heads to the door and opens it. He walks out to the front porch and looks for Iggy. He sees him leaning against the railing but before he can say anything, Iggy shoves Mickey, causing him to stumble back a bit. The older boy then hurried back into the house and locks the door. Mickey immediately starts banging on the door. "Let me the fuck in! It's freezing!" Mickey had on his faded blue boxers along with his dirty wife beater which was no match against the 20 degree weather and snow that was threatening to freeze him to death. "Iggy!" He yells.

A few moments later the door opens, but it wasn't Iggy who opens it. Ian stands in front of the now open door. Mickey shoves Ian out of his way and walks to Iggy's room, his fist banging on the locked door. "I swear, when you get out of there I'm going to fucking end you!"

"All of you shut up!" Terry yells from the bathroom. Mickey immediately goes silent. His knocking stops.

Ian rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. He had been waiting for Mandy to finish getting ready but Ian was about to just leave. "So, um, you doing anything for Christmas?"

Mickey glares at him. He was starting to like Ian, but he was annoyed and not in the mood for small talk. "Does it fucking seem like it?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. Ian shakes his head a bit. Stupid question. He knew it was. The Milkovich family never did anything for holidays and Ian felt kind of bad. That was why he always invited Mandy over for things.

He nods. "You could come over to my place for tonight. We got a shit ton of food, beer, gonna watch the bulls game. It'll be fun. You should come with."

Mickey raises an eyebrow. He wanted to come, he'd do anything to get out of the house. When their mother was still around, Christmas used to be halfway decent. They would bake cookies for Santa, get a shitty tree with just a few presents underneath that were wrapped in newspaper. But the Milkovich kids always loved it. It was the one time of the year that Mickey didn't completely hate his house. But Mickey didn't want to seem too needy or desperate to come so he just shrugs. "I don't know. Got shit to do around here."

Ian smiles a bit and raises an eyebrow. "Okay, like what?"

"I don't fucking know. Just shit."

Ian laughs and nods. "Okay, well if you change your mind just come over. I don't mind," he says as Mandy walks out. She smiles at Ian.

"Hey, you ready?" She asks and Ian nods. She grabs Ian's hand and the two of them walk out of the house, leaving Mickey alone in the living room. He flops down on the couch and sighs heavily. It was quiet in the house other than Terry's snoring from somewhere. Mickey just figured the man had drank too much and passed out on the floor again.

_____________________________________

Mickey tugs on his jeans and curses himself. It had been two hours and he had done a good job at not cracking and going to Ian's. But that was about to change. Mickey tried to distract himself by playing video games or jerking off but nothing worked. He kept thinking about Ian's and for some reason he felt jealous. Jealous that his sister was hanging out with Ian but he wasn't.

He zipped up the faded blue jeans before pulling a black hoodie over his head and lacing his boots. He placed a cigarette between his lips and walked out of the house, the cold air practically smacking him in the face. He cups a hand around his cigarette and lights up the end. His head hangs low so that he could shield himself as much as possible from the brutal winds. The walk seemed to take hours but finally two blocks later he made it to the Gallagher's. He pressed his cigarette into the snow before walking up the steps to the house. He rubs the side of his neck before hesitantly knocking on the door. A few moments later Fiona opens the door and stares back. "Yeah?"

"Uh, Ian said I could come over," Mickey mumbles. Fiona just stares back, not believing him. She knew he was a Milkovich kid and knew Ian didn't hang out with him. "You gonna fucking let me in or let me freeze my ass off out here?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Mickey!" Ian says, coming up to the door behind Fiona. "Hey, I didn't know if you were coming or not," he says. He opens the door wider and allows Mickey to walk inside. He glances around quickly before looking back at Ian.

"Yeah, figured might as well," he says, shrugging as Fiona walks off. Mickey shrugged his coat off and tossed in on the ground by all the others.

Ian couldn't help the stupid grin on his face the moment he saw Mickey. Sure the boy was rough and rude, but Ian liked him. He liked the way his eyes lit up when he smiled and the small faded freckles that scattered his cheeks. "There's beer, eggnog, and snacks in the kitchen. Help yourself to anything," he says before leading Mickey into the house. Mandy smiles up at him from the couch.

"Hey," she says, confused look on her face. "You came too?" He just shrugs. Mandy knew Mickey was in boxing with Ian but she didn't really think they talked outside of it. Mickey never really did friendships. Ever.

In the corner there was a Christmas tree that was covered in homemade ornaments, presents underneath. Mickey was a bit surprised by how many were underneath it. He knew the Gallaghers had more money than his family, but he knew not by much. He walked into the kitchen, squeezing past Vee and Fiona and opens the fridge, grabbing a beer. Mickey pops off the cap and tosses it into the garbage, raising an eyebrow at Vee. She had been staring at him ever since he walked in. "Something wrong?" He mumbles. She throws her hands up in self defense and Mickey walks past. "That is the dirtiest white boy in America," she says, turning to Fiona. She nods.

"You're telling me. Don't know why Ian invited him. I didn't even know they talked," Fiona says. "But hey, guess the more the merrier," she mumbles. Mickey flops back down on the couch next to Ian, his side pressed against the edge.

The Gallagher house was messy, but not the same way as his was. Their house was cluttered, but Mickey's was just a straight up mess because no one cared to clean it up. Beer cans littered the floor and cigarettes were found anywhere from the sink to the fridge. It was kind of sad, but Mickey was used to it. He never was embarrassed about it until now. He suddenly felt uncomfortable with his dirty face and messy hair. Everyone else around him was freshly showered and either had no sent or smelt of deodorant. Mickey didn't. Suddenly, he stands up off of the couch. He walks to the front door, grabs his coat and leaves. A heavy sigh escapes his lips as he tugs his coat on and sits down on their porch steps. Mickey rests a cigarette between his lips and lights it. He takes in a long drag, eyes slipping shut.

He knew it was a bad idea coming here. They were expected Mandy to come and none of them seemed to care that she was there, but Mickey felt out of place. He felt like all eyes were on him, constantly judging him. Fuck them, he thought. He didn't need to be with anyone for Christmas. He was fine staying alone in his toxic house because at least there everything around him was familiar.

The door opens behind him and Mickey jumps a bit, startled from the noise. He turns around and sees Ian. "The fuck you want?"

Ian shrugs. "Nothing I guess," he says, sitting down next to Mickey. "Something up?"

Mickey just shakes his head, eyes focused on the cigarette that hung loosely between his tatted knuckles. "Nope just wanted a smoke," he lies. He lifts the smoke back up and places it back between his lips.

Ian just nods and looks out into the dark street ahead. Mickey wasn't okay and Ian knew something was up. But he also knew he shouldn't ask because Mickey wouldn't answer him. "Why don't you come back in? Dinners done."

Mickey stands up, butting the cigarette out against the railing. "Nah, man. I'm just gonna get going," he says, starting down the steps.

"Just wait," Ian says quickly. "We've got a shit ton of food to share, Mandy's here. Why don't you at least have dinner here?"

"Because no one fucking wants me in there. You only invited me outta pity and I don't fucking need it," he spits back.

"I don't pity you, Mickey. We box together, we hung out once. I just... I'm trying to be your friend here. Just stay for dinner. After that you can fuck off to wherever you wanna go." Mickey doesn't say anything at first. He runs his knuckles over his lips and glances down at the dirtied snow by his feet. He shrugs his shoulders just the slightest bit.

"Just for dinner," he repeats. Ian grins and nods.

"Just for dinner." Ian leads Mickey back up the stairs and into the house, shutting the door behind them.

_____________________________________

It was complete chaos at the dinner table. Everyone was reaching for the same thing at once, things were tipping over and everyone was talking. "Fuck off outta my way," Mickey mumbles, shoving Lip's hand out of the way to put a few slices of ham onto his plate. Mickey gives him a small smirk before piling mashed potatoes on his plate as well.

"Who the fuck even invited you?" Lip grumbles, grabbing some ham.

Mickey snorts. "The fuck's it to you?" He picks up his beer and sips it.

Lip flips him off before going back to eating. Mickey glances over at Mandy, actually surprised to find her talking to the other Gallaghers. She was talking to Vee right now, Mandy's eyes lighting up as she laughed. Mickey ignored all of their conversations, way too focused on his meal to pay attention. It had been years since Mikey had had a home cooked meal like this. He scoops up a spoonful of his mashed potatoes and shoves it into his mouth. 

"Food any good?" Ian asks, sipping his beer. Mickey turns and looks at him, nodding. 

"Yeah, its alright I guess." Ian laughs. 

"The mouthful of mashed potatoes says otherwise," Ian teases. "Fi, always makes awesome food. I could live off of her mashed potatoes if she let me." Mickey smiles a bit and shakes his head. Mickey scoops up some of the mashed potatoes onto his spoon before flinging it at Ian. He laughs as it lands on Ian's nose, right in between his eyes. Ian glares at him. "Fucking, asshole," he says. He reaches down and picks up one of his green beans, throwing it at Mickey's head. Mickey flips him off, small smirk on his face. He then picks up a huge piece of ham, ready to throw it until Fiona butts in. 

"Okay, knock it off you two. You're acting like fucking five year olds," she says, trying to keep herself from laughing. Mickey smirked a bit, looking down at his plate and nodding. 

He glances over at Ian and the two boys share a look. Mandy raises an eyebrow watching the two. A small smile spread across her face. She knew her brother never hung out with anyone unless they were smoking or doing something else stupid, so she was actually surprised to see him getting along with Ian. 

Mickey's eyes flicker over to Mandy and he immediately looks down at his lap. He rubs the back of his neck, taking a bite of his ham. 

Ian was still smiling on the other hand, nudging Mickey in the side. "Don't worry, Mickey. This isn't over yet," he teases and Mickey had to wipe the grin off of his mouth. 

The rest of dinner, Mickey stayed quiet. Soon enough everyone finished and they all piled onto the couch. The three youngest Gallagher's sat around the tree. Mandy, lip and Ian all sat on the couch while the three adults sat on chairs. Mickey sat on the ground, his back leaning against the side of the couch. "One present each and that's it," Fiona smiles at them, watching as they each pick up one. 

"Shit, this is awesome!" Carl says, pulling a BB gun out of a box. Liam went next, pulling a little action figure out of the wrapping. The boy grins widely and hugs it to his chest. Debbie unwrapped the Santa themed wrapping paper and pulled out a pink make up bag that was full of pretty much every beauty product she had wanted. Her eyes go wide and she grins. 

"Oh my god, I love it," she says, smiling at Fiona. Lip unwrapped his, pulling out a new pair of jeans. They were a dark denim color and didn't look too cheap or too expensive. He smiles. 

"Thanks Fi," he mouths and she nods back, grinning. 

Last but not least was Ian. He had a medium sized box on his lap, neatly wrapped up in green wrapping paper with little raindeers on it.  He unwraps the box, tossing the wrapping paper onto the floor in front of him. He opens it up and smiles down at the present. In the box was a pair of his own boxing gloves. They were blue, unlike the red ones they had at the gym. "This is the best," he says. He pulls them out and tries them out. Ian leans over and slugs Lip in the arm, laughing. 

  
Lip rubs his arm and playfully glares at him. "Asshole," he teases. Mickey smiles a bit. He'd be lying to himself if he said he wasn't the slightest bit jealous. Sure the Gallaghers were fucked up, but it was in a different way than the Milkovichs. Mickey was stuck in a house with a father who thought of him as just something he could knock around. They barely had money for bills and food and the money they did have, Terry always used on drugs or beer. Never saving a penny of it for his kids. But here, this family really loved each other and even though they barely had any money, they someone still came together to care for one another.

"Those are fucking sick, man. Better than the shitty ones at the gym," he says, grinning up at him from the ground. Ian smiles back. 

"Wanna go test them out?" Mickey nods. The two boys get up and Ian leads them down to the basement. "I found this out on the side of the road one day. It's shitty as hell but I like it," he says. Ian was referring to a punching bag that hung from the middle of the ceiling. It was orange and torn up in a few places but it was pretty decent. Mickey grins, glancing over at Ian. 

"This is pretty cool, man," he says, walking up to it. He hits it gently with his fist, testing it out at first. He then holds his hands up and slams his left one into it. 

  
"You're gonna hurt your hand like that," Ian says, pulling the boxing gloves off of his own hands. "Here you can use mine." Ian holds the blue gloves out to Mickey who just stares at them. He shakes his head. 

"Nah, man, I'll get them all dirty and shit. They're your gift you use them," he says. 

"They're gonna get dirty eventually. Might as well start now," he says, smiling softly but Mickey refuses. He refused to ruin something of Ian's. Something that he knew Ian really liked. 

"I'm fine. I like hitting the bag with my bare knuckles anyways," he says, his fist hitting the bag. It swung from side to side, the chains it hung by making a small jingling noise. 

"That's something I don't get about you. Why do you always hit the bag with no gloves on when it hurts?" Ian asked as he slipped the gloves back on. 

Mickey shrugs, throwing multiple punches at the bag. He had pent up anger and frustrations from the day. He hated Terry for being a shitty fucking father. He hated himself for being such a coward and he hated Ian Gallagher for making him feel so damn vulnerable. "Maybe I like the pain," he mumbles, mostly to himself. 

  
"I'm surprised you showed up," Mandy whispers to him. The two siblings walked down the dark street side by side. Mandy was pressed against Mickey in an attempt to warm herself up. He shrugs his shoulders slightly, hands in his pockets. 

"Nothing else to fucking do at home," he mumbles back. His eyes stayed trained on his boots as he walked next to his sister who kept staring at him. Her eyes ran up and down his body, trying to figure him out. She knew he was acting weird, but she didn't know why. 

"You like Ian?" She asks and Mickey swears he never moved so fast. His head snapped around and he looked over at his sister. "I mean I know you've got other guys you call your friends but you seem to really wanna hang out with Ian." Mickey felt himself start to breath again once he realized she meant as a friend. Once again, Mickey shrugs. 

"I mean... he's kinda cool I guess. Wouldn't necessarily call him my fucking friend or anything," The boy mumbles, kicking down a small mound of snow that was in the middle of the sidewalk. Mandy smiles a bit. She knew how her brother worked. His "he's kinda cool I guess" meant Mickey did think of Ian as a friend, he just didn't want to admit it. She nods.

"He is pretty fucking cool. I've been talking to him since freshmen year. You should get more friends like him. Your other ones suck." Mickey glares at her. He picks up a chunk of snow and throws it at her. Mandy laughs. 

"Asshole!" She says. She picks up her own snow and retaliates, throwing it at Mickey's head. The two siblings run down the street, throwing snow at each other and laughing. Maybe it was only Christmas eve, but so far this Christmas hadn't been too damn bad for the Milkovich kids.


	5. Drunk Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m aware that there probably are some typos along the way in this fic so far. But over the next week or so I’m going back over every chapter to fix them :) so I sorry for my lazieness before.

 "Mickey, come with me," Mandy groans. She leans over the dirty sink and looks into the mirror as she gently brushes the mascara onto her eyelashes.

Mickey makes a small grunt as his reply. His stomach was pressed against the mattress of his bed, legs sprawled out and hair a mess. "It'll be fun. Promise. There's gonna be beer and music and girls. Your three favorite things," she says. Mandy screws the cap of the makeup back on and sets it down, smiling at herself in the mirror before going over to Mickey. "It's New Years Eve. I'm not letting you stay in here moping around for it. You're coming with me," she grabs Mickey's leg and starts to drag him out of the bed.

"Knock it the fuck off," he groans. He held onto the bedsheets, but they didn't do much. With some effort and strength, Mandy pulled her brother out of his bed and onto the floor. "My head, Mandy," he complains, rubbing the spot that had hit the floor. She laughs.

"Go take a shower for once or at least wash your face in the sink. I'm gonna pick your outfit for you." Mickey sighs and rolls over onto his back, carding a hand through his hair.

"I said I wasn't goin' anywhere," he grumbles. Mandy glares down at her brother before grabbing him by the ankle and starting to drag him to the bathroom.

"And I said I don't care. You're coming with me to this party. Now clean up before I do it for you." Mickey knew he was no match for Mandy. Both of them were stubborn beyond belief but Mickey wasn't in the mood to argue. Plus the promise of free beer was pretty enticing. So he reluctantly pulled himself up by the door handle and shut the bathroom door behind him. He turns on the cold water in the sink before splashing some of it over his face. A small cringe spreads across his face as he looks in the mirror. He had a small bruise on his forehead from a fight he had gotten into over drug money and a spilt lip. The dirt was now slowly dripping down his face, turning the water in the sink slightly brown. Mickey lets out a heavy sigh and scrubs at it with his hands and the water until he was a satisfied. His hair was still untamed and stuck up in a very unorganized fashion but Mickey didn't care enough to fix it.

He opened the bathroom door and walked or, Mandy grinning at him. "There's my big brother. Can finally see you know pass all the dirt," she teases which causes Mickey to stick his middle finger up at her. He goes over to his bed and looks at the clothes she picked out. "It's casual so I just found whatever I could that didn't smell or have stains on them." On the bed was a light grey t shirt, a black zip up and dark blue jeans.

"Don't get why you're dragging me along," he mumbles. He slips out of his sweat pants and pulls on the jeans. Mandy grins as she sits down on the bed, running a hand through her hair to fix it.

"Because you never go out unless it's to smoke weed or drink," she says.

Mickey snorts and looks at her. "Isn't that what I'm gonna be doing at the party?"

Mandy laughs and shrugs. "Guess so. But you know what I mean. When you normally do it you're always in a shitty room with a few guys and you guys just smoke and then leave. You don't have fun."

Mickey scoffs but he couldn't argue. He never really did go out to hang with anyone unless it was to smoke weed or drink. Or the occasional fuck that he felt like he was obligated to do. As he tugged on his boots he silently hoped this party would have a certain redhead there too.

As if Mandy read his mind, she stands up and smiles at him. "You look good. Now come on, we're picking Ian up on the way," she says. Her ripped black jeans exposed a good portion of her thighs and she had a crop topped sweater on above it. On their way out, Mickey grabs the crumbled up pack of cigarettes off of the table along with the lighter before following Mandy outside.

"You're gonna freeze your ass off," he mumbles, pulling the hood up on his hoodie. He reaches into the pack and pulls out a smoke, placing it between his lips.

"I'm fine. It's not a long walk anyways. Just two blocks to Ian's and then one to the party.

The two of them walked in silence for the rest of the walk. Mickey struggled for a solid minute trying to light his cigarette, but the winds kept blowing out the flame. After getting frustrated Mickey had said fuck it and angrily threw it into the snow below them. Mandy pulls away from Mickey, where she had been pressed against his side for warmth and walks up the steps to the Gallagher's house. Mickey stays down by the fence, leaning against it and busying himself by drawing a design in the snow with his boot.

Mandy reaches up and knocks on the door. After a few moments, she is met by a smiling Ian. He had on a black tshirt, flannel on top and a heavy coat over that. "Hey," he says, shutting the door behind him. He glances past Mandy and his smile starts to widen. "Mickey came?"

Mandy laughs. "Kinda forced him to come, but yeah. He's gonna come to the party with us," she says as they walk down the steps.

"Hey," Ian says to Mickey. The older boy gives him a curt nod, walking a stride behind the two as they walked down the sidewalk. South side parties were always filled with underaged drinking, horny teenagers and shitty music. Bottom line was, this was not where Mickey wanted to be headed. He'd much rather stay in the solitude of his bedroom by himself, playing guitar or working out. "Didn't take you as a party goer," he says, glancing back.

Mickey shrugs, glancing up at him. "Cause I'm not." His eyes drop back down to the ground, concentrating on his shoes instead of Ian. He could smell the fresh sent of body wash on him. It was the typical sent of every guy soap out there but for some reason it smelt so much damn better coming from Ian.  And it didn't help the fact that Ian's jeans were doing an amazing job at outlining the curves of his ass and legs. He clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck.

Soon enough the noise of shitty music is heard from down the block and a few yells accompany it. "Hey," Mandy says, nudging Ian's side. "Think Bryan is gonna be here. That one boy that was hitting on you last year all the time in English." Ian grins a bit.

"Yeah?" He says, keeping his voice light hearted. He knew his chances were a million to one, but Ian wanted Mickey, not Bryan. The past few weeks after he had met Mickey, he hadn't wanted to fuck around as much. He had even been avoiding Kash as much as he could at the shop. "Maybe he'll still wanna hook up."

Mickey rolls his eyes from behind them and angrily kicks the metal fence as they ascend the steps to the house. The second they walked in the smell of weed was evident. It was only ten o'clock but kids were already getting drunk, making out in rooms of the house and stumbling around like idiots. Mandy's eyes go straight to the green eyed boy that Mickey remembered from lunch. "Just ignore him, Mandy," Ian whispers in her ear. Mickey frowns a bit and glances over at them. He didn't want to seem like he was interested at all in their conversation but Mickey already figured he knew what happened. He had probably cheated on Mandy, like most boys would. He felt bad for his sister but at the same time he thought it was her own fault for going after the same type of guys constantly.

Mandy gives her friend a half hearted smile. "Ian tonight you and I are both gonna find us a good guy to get laid with and I'm not leaving until my mission is accomplished."

Ian laughs and shakes his head. "Mandy, I'm not even sure I wanna hook up tonight," he says. Mandy rolls her eyes and picks up a cup for her and Ian, a light brown liquid inside.

"Bullshit, I've never seen the day that Ian Gallagher didn't want to hook up."

Mickey knocks his knuckles against the side of his nose and glances around the room. If Ian was going to hook up tonight, than so was Mickey. He didn't need Ian. He didn't even want Ian. It was just a fleeting moment of weakness that made him think he did. He was seventeen and a typical horny teenager. He figured his mind was just playing tricks on him over the whole Ian or liking guys in general thing. "Whatever, faggots. While you two complain about not getting laid, I'm actually gonna." Mickey gives them a small wink before walking off.

Ian couldn't help but notice the small pant of jealousy that started to rise in his chest as he watched Mickey walk off and eventually disappear in the crowd. He was soon distracted when Mandy grabbed his wrist and dragged him over to a group of her friends. "Hey," she says, grinning.

"Hey, you made it!" A boy with curly blonde hair said. Ian recognized him from a previous party Mandy had dragged him along with. Devin walker. He was a senior in the school and used to always hang out with the druggies under the bleachers during the pep rallies the school had been forced to go to. "And you brought Gallagher!" If the smell was his words were slurred wasn't enough to prove that he was drunk, the smell of alcohol on the boy's breath gave it away.

Ian gives him an awkward, half smile. "Uh, yeah. Hey, Devin," he says, sipping the liquid in his cup.

The first hour of the party was utterly horrible for Ian. He was standing with Mandy for a while, watching as Mandy laughed and enjoyed herself. Ian finished off his third cup when his eyes locked with Mickey's for a split second. The older boy was walking towards the stairs with a small, skinny blonde girl. Ian had to quickly look away and peered down into his empty cup. "Fuck this," he mumbles to himself. He leaned over to Mandy and whispered in her ear. "I'm gonna walk around and shit."

Mandy grins a bit. "Okay, just remember to use protection," she teases. Ian rolls his eyes.

"You too," he says before walking off.

Mickey locked the bathroom door behind him as he quickly undid the buttons on his jeans. The girl was a junior like Mickey, but she was only 16. The girl, Samantha, saw Mickey was a typical "bad boy". He fit the criteria. Tattoos on his knuckles, stole shit, and smoked weed. It was hot to her and she wanted to fit in with the popular girls more than anything. She had moved to the south side from Detroit a month ago and was slowly making her way up the social latter. She gets down on her knees and brushes her hair behind her shoulders. "I've, um, I've never done this before,"

"Not rocket science," he mumbles. He drops his jeans and his boxers with it. The girl blushed a bit and nods. She ducks her head down and takes his cock into his mouth. She bobs her head for several minutes, waiting for Mickey to even get hard. The older boy leans back against the sink, hands holding onto the sides. Mickey felt like his face was getting redder and redder every second that pasted by. She pulls away after what feels like years and looks up at him, eyes wide.

"It's not... how come you aren't hard? I've been doing this for like ten fucking minutes and nothing's happened" She says. She jerks him off for a few seconds and shakes her head. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She pulls away from Mickey and stands up. The boy's face goes bright red and he quickly pulls his jeans back up.

"Cause you aren't fucking doing it right!" He says.

She frowns. "How the hell not? I may have never done it before but I've seen porn. I'm not stupid. There's like something wrong with your dick or with you." Mickey scoffs and pushes open the bathroom door.

"Good fucking luck getting laid when you can't even suck a dick," he mutters, walking down the hall. Mickey had never felt more humiliated in his life. His cheeks were a crimson red and he kept his head down as he descended the stairs and went back down to the party. His heart felt like it was beating a million miles per minute and he wouldn't be surprised if everyone heard it over the sound of the music. He couldn't let her going around telling everyone he couldn't get hard from a blowjob. But he couldn't think about that now. His head was spinning already and he needed something to calm himself. He needed to find Devin Walker. Mickey used to hang out with him but he only ever did it to get cheap weed from him.

Mickey spotted the curly headed boy over in the corner, drink in his hand and weird enough he saw Ian Gallagher with him. Mickey frowned a bit. He knew Ian didn't hang with those kind of kids. The only times he did was when Mandy was there. Mickey walked over to him and slaps Devin on the back. "Need some weed, man," he says.

Devin looks over at him and grins. "Shit, what's up man?" He says. "Dude, you look fucking outta it."

Mickey snorts. "You're one to talk. You can barely fucking stand." Devin had only had more drinks but even Ian could tell something was up with Mickey. He had clearly seen him go up the stairs with the girl and immediately knew he had no chances with him. But it didn't mean that he didn't want to be his friend anymore. "Now c'mon. You got any on you?"

Devin nods and sets the drink down, swaying a bit. "Yeah, man," he mumbles. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a few joints. "Got these," a big grin spreading across his lips.

Mickey rolls his eyes and grabs it from him. "Whatever. Gallagher you wanna join?"

"Okay, woah. Dude first off you gotta pay me," he slurs. "And second off, redhead said he was gonna suck me off."

At the same time Mickey's eyes went wide, Ian's closed, cringing at the comment. He knew it was a dumb idea. The kid was a dumbass in general but drunk, Devin was even worse. "Yeah, um, about that... I-"

Mickey shakes his head. "Don't. Don't wanna fucking hear about this faggot shit. I'll smoke it on my own," he grumbles. Before Ian could say anything else Mickey was shoving people out of his way, leaving Ian behind.

"So... we gonna do this or what?" Devin asks, grinning. Ian looks at him and rolls his eyes.

"No, Devin. We aren't. Because first off, you've had so much beer I doubt you can even get it up and second of all you're a dick," he mutters.

Devin stares at him before throwing his head back in laughter. "Fuck yeah I am!" He says.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Those were the only words that seemed to be circulating around Mickey's head, unable to forget them. What the hell was wrong with him? His brother's had both lost there virginity by the time they were 15 and went through girl after girl. So he didn't understand how he was 17 and still struggling to get up around girls. He shook his head and took a drag from the joint. He presses it against one of the ash trays, extinguishing it. He leans his head back against the wall as the music seemed to get impossibly lighter. By now his head felt lighter and he was getting dizzy. But Mickey liked it. It was much better compared to the deadly humiliation he was feeling earlier.

He pushes himself off of the wall, stumbling slightly as he makes his way across the room. He grins when he sees Mandy. He goes over to her. "Hey little sister," he mumbles, laughing.

Mandy looks at her brother and raises an eyebrow. "Dude, you're wasted and high as fuck," she laughs. Mickey squints at her and shakes his head.

"No, m'not! I had like one... or sevenish drinks," he says and his sister just laughs more.

"It's late anyways and I'm getting annoyed since I'm one of the only ones who isn't completely wasted. Why don't we get Ian and get outta here?"

Mickey shakes his head. "No Ian... lets just fucking go," he says, pulling on his sister's arm.

Mandy rolls her eyes. "Just wait here and try not to fall over." She walks away from her brother, only to return moments later with Ian. The sight of Ian himself was enough to sober Mickey up just the slightest. He couldn't tell if he was more furious or jealous. Furious that Ian had most likely fucked someone tonight. And jealous it wasn't him. Mickey rubs his eyes and walks behind the two of them.

"I think there's something wrong with me," he mumbles. Mandy and Ian both stop and turn to look back at the older boy.

"What?" Mandy asks, eyebrows furrowed.

"Think there's something wrong with me," he mumbles again. He keeps walking, forcing the other two to follow. He steps over a pile of snow and ends up slipping on a sheet of ice, landing on his ass. "Ow, fuck," he grumbles, laying on his back.

"Fuck, Mick. How much did you really drink?" Mandy mumbles. Her and Ian both reach down and help Mickey back up. They place Mickey's arms around their shoulders so he was actually able to stand.

"Why don't you two just sleep over at my house? We're almost there and I doubt Mickey could even make it all the way home," many nods in agreement.

"Yeah, probably should. Don't want him going home like this anyways." Mickey wasn't necessarily a violent drunk. He was just violent in general. And when he was drunk, he liked to pick fights with Terry. Fights he never seemed to win. They walk up the steps to the Gallagher's house. Mickey centers most of his weight against Ian's side, not being able to hold himself up.

"Devin, huh?" He slurs. Ian's face flushed red and he kicks off his boots. "Dev's a fag." He chuckles to himself, shaking his head.

"You and I can share the bed tonight," Ian says to Mandy. He'd offer to sleep on the couch but he saw frank already passed out on it, beer bottle in his hand. "I can make a bed up on the floor for Mickey." Mandy nods.

"Thanks, Ian," she says. Ian helps Mickey up the stairs and gently sets him on the bed. "I'll get his shoes off and shit while you make the bed." Ian nods.

Mandy lets out a heavy sigh and kneels down on the floor in front of her brother. She tries his boots and starts to tug them off. "What'd you mean earlier when you said there's something wrong with you?" She asks curiously, tossing the boots to the side.

Mickey looks down at her and chuckles. "Like my dick... or something. There's something wrong with it."

Mandy raises an eyebrow. "Fuck, Mick. Please tell me you don't have herpies or some shit."

Mickey laughs loudly, throwing his head back. "Noooo. I don't have fuckin' herpies." He lays back on the bed and closes his eyes, legs tangling off of the bed. Mandy just sighs and shakes her head. Mickey was drunk and Mandy didn't want to push the subject, knowing she probably wouldn't get a straight answer anyways. It was probably just the alcohol talking anyways. "You kiss someone at midnight?" He sits back up with a groan, kicking off his jeans.

Mandy smiles a bit and nods. "Yeah, I did. I'd ask you but I'm pretty sure I already know your answer."

Mickey gives her a small shake of the head. "Didn't wanna kiss just anyone... wanted to kiss someone in general but they were already with someone else."

"You mean that girl you brought up stairs?" Ian asks, walking back in with extra pillows and blankets.

Mickey frowns at the mention of her and rubs his eyes. "No... don't like Samantha. A bitch... she's a fucking bitch," he mutters. His eyes began to water up from the mixture of alcohol and the recollection of the humiliation he had felt earlier. Ian frowns and looks over at Mandy.

"Is he... is he crying?" He whispers, laying the blankets out on the floor. Mandy nods, looking up at her brother in confusion.

"I think so," she says back. She climbs up on the bed and sits down next to Mickey. "Mick... hey it's okay. Did you wanna kiss her and she didn't wanna kiss you back?"

"No!" Mickey says loudly. He angrily wipes his eyes and shakes his head. "Didn't wanna fucking kiss her." He climbs off of the bed and lays down in the makeshift bed. "Just wanna sleep."

Mandy and Ian share a look before Mandy nods slightly. "Okay... I'll be right up here if you need me," she says. Ian flips off the lights before climbing into the bed with Mandy. It was only a matter of minutes before Mickey's soft snores echoed around the small room. Mandy didn't stay up much longer than him, soon sub coming to sleep. Ian couldn't fall asleep as easily as the other two. He laid there with his eyes open, glancing down at Mickey. The raven haired boy seemed peaceful in his sleep. It was almost surprising that the boy sleeping on the floor was Mickey Milkovich. When awake, he seemed angry and intimidating. But sleeping, he actually seemed relaxed and calm. Ian had to stop himself from reaching down and running a hand through the black locks.

Ian also couldn't get Samantha off of his mind. The moment he saw Mickey go upstairs with her, was the moment Ian realized he truly did have a crush on the raven haired boy. 


	6. Hangovers are the Worst

Mickey was the first one up the next morning. The first thing he felt was the horrendous, nauseating feeling in his stomach. But the pain in his stomach and the pounding sensation in his head wasn't the only think to remind Mickey of his stupid decisions last night. There was also the sickening weird feeling that he had been upset over something last night.

Mickey uses the nightstand to pull himself up into a standing position. He hurried to the hallway and darted towards the bathroom as soon as he spotted it. He leaned over the toilet and vomited, hands gripping onto the sides of the bowl. He painted softly, closing his eyes before dry heaving a few times. "Fuck," he groans. A hand coming down to rest on his back was enough to make Mickey jump.

"Sorry. It's just me," Ian says softly, hand remaining. In any other situation Mickey would threaten Ian for even touching him in such a soft way, but Mickey was in no place to do so now. "I'm going to run downstairs and grab you a bottle of water and some pills. Heads probably killing too?" All Mickey could do was nod slightly, but it was enough for Ian because he left the bathroom without a second glance.

"Take these. Should help with the headache," Ian says once he returns. Mickey takes the pills out of Ian's hands and downs it with the glass of water. Mickey leans back against the wall. "You have fun last night?" Ian teases.

Mickey shoots him a glare and flips him off. "Wouldn't even be able to tell you if I did."

Ian laughs. "Probably because you drank a liquor store and not to mention, you stink like weed."

Mickey shrugs, running a hand through his sweaty hair. "Don't even know how I got the weed. Didn't have any on me or any cash."

"Devin," Ian says simply. And that's when the first piece of the puzzle clicked for him. Mickey remembered vaguely his encounter with Devin.

"You're gay, Gallagher?"

Ian's face goes red and he shrugs. Ian was never one to hide his sexuality because he wasn't embarrassed with himself. He just preferred it if Mickey Milkovich, a known fag basher, didn't know. "Uh, Yeah. Yeah, I am."

Mickey nods a bit, playing with the stitching on his boxers. He was saved from the awkward silence when Mandy walked in. "Hey. Glad to see you actually woke up. Wasn't sure you'd make it through the night," she teases her brother. Mickey shoots her a look but before he could say anything to her he was leaning back over the toilet.

"Fuck... last time I drink," he jokes, wiping his mouth on his shirt. He slowly stands back up, rubbing his forehead. "I'm gonna head home."

Mandy nods. "I'll come with," she says before turning and hugging Ian. "Thanks for letting us the night here. Love you," She pecks Ian's cheek and Ian smiles at her.

"Of course. You guys are welcome anytime," he tells them, eyes flickering over to Mickey. Mandy let's him go before motioning for Mickey to follow her. He goes back into Ian's room and grabs his clothes, slipping back into them even though they reeked like sweat, weed and alcohol. He then follows Mandy back down the hall.

"Thanks," he mumbles as he walks past Ian. Ian just shoots him a shy smile and nods.

Once outside, Mickey zips up his coat. "You know Gallagher's a fag?"

Mandy nods, pulling her hat over her ears. "Yep. He's gay and one hundred percent into dick."

"And that doesn't bother you?" He asks cautiously. Mickey didn't want to seem too concerned or seem like he cared. Because he didn't. Or at least that's what he told himself. He didn't want to care what many thought about homosexuality or any of that, but he couldn't help but question her anyways.

Ever since they were kids, Mickey and Mandy had been the closest out of the Milkovich siblings and that was something Mickey had always cherished. Mickey loved his older brothers, but he needed someone like Mandy in his life. Someone who wasn't always on survival mode all the time. He needed someone who grounded him and Mandy was that person. She somehow always knew how to handle Mickey better than the rest of their family. And Mickey would be damned if he lost that.

"I don't give a shit who he likes to sleep with. We all gotta get off one way or another, right?" She shrugs. Mickey just drops the conversation to seem uninterested.

Soon they escape the freezing cold as they step into their house, Mandy shutting the door behind him. "You wanna lay down or something? I can make you some toast or soup?"

"Don't have any," Colin mumbles. The older sibling was laying on his back on the couch. He had his boxers on along with a dirty long sleeve shirt, the tv on quiet. "All we got in the kitchen is fucking peanut butter, orange juice, beer and a bunch of other random shit that you can't eat on your own."

Mandy sighs as she tosses her coat to the ground. "And you decided to just ignore that problem instead of going out to get some fucking food?"

"Don't have any money."

"Bullshit. You're just lazy cause I know for damn sure that even if you did have the cash you'd steal that shit," Mandy grumbles. She kicks Colin's side gently so that he was sitting up and Mickey and her could squeeze onto the couch with him. Mickey kicked his feet up on the table, kicking the empty beer Can onto the floor to make room. He closes his eyes and leans back, rubbing his forehead.

The dulled but still persistent headache was a constant reminder of last nights chain of events. Throughout the walk home Mickey had been able to make up the main events of New Year's Eve. He remembered the embarrassment he had felt when he couldn't get hard from Samantha. Then the jealousy that coursed through him as Ian agreed to touch another boy.

As horrible and embarrassed as Mickey felt about the blowjob, that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was definitely the whole Ian situation because for some reason every time Mickey was around Ian, he felt it harder and harder to control his urges. But he figured they would pass. He was a teenager his body was doing weird things and apparently making Mickey worried about his sexuality was one of them. Mickey was just excited for it all to end and for him to finally be comfortable.

"You in?" Colin asks, snapping Mickey out of his thoughts. Mickey glances down at the controller Colin was holding out and nods.

"Yeah, sure. What're we playing?" He asks, grabbing the controller.

"Battlefield. Mandy is a pussy and doesn't wanna play," he says, loudly just so Mandy could hear. She swats her brother on the side of her head as she walks into her bedroom.

"Asshole."

Colin laughs as he sets up the game. "You stay here for New Year's Eve?" Mickey asks. He leans forward and sips from a half empty beer bottle.

Colin shakes his head, smirking. "Hell no, man. Went out to this awesome party. Got shit faced, high and fucked some chick. What about you?"

Mickey shrugs. "Went out with Mandy to a party. Got pretty fucked up myself," he grins.

Colin smiles back. "Awe, my baby brother is growing up. You sleep with someone too?" He asks. 

Mickey rubs the back of his neck and nods, staring down at the controller. "Uh, Yeah. Yeah I did."

Colin laughs. "Good for you, man. Turning our just like me and Iggy."

Mickey laughs. "Yeah, that's definitely not my fuckin' goal in life. To turn out like my two deadbeat older brothers." That comment immediately earned him a hard slug in the shoulder which Mickey returned with a huge grin.

"Fuck you," Colin grumbles as the game starts.

Mickey laughs. "Just spitting the truth."

The two Milkovich boys end up playing video games for the remainder of the afternoon. Mickey's killer headache and stomach pains slowly started to subside and were replaced with pains of hunger.

"There's seriously nothing to eat?" Mickey asks, tossing the controller onto the table.

Colin shakes his head. "Nope. Nothing."

Mickey sighs and stands up. "Gonna go hit up Foodies or whatever the fuck that place his called."

"Can't. They installed video cameras."

Mickey groans. "Fuck... I'll just head to the Kash and Grab. Towel head never even tries to stop me anyways," he says as he slips into his shoes and coat.

Mickey kept his pace slow even with the freezing cold. He figured terry was at the alibi but would be returning home soon and Mickey wasn't looking forward to that. He'd much rather walk through the below zero temperatures just to get a bag of chips and maybe a soda than face his father.

The cigarette that dangled between his lips was his only form of warmth and it wasn't much. The smoke whisked through the end of it, mixing in with the dark air. He only put it out when he came up to the store. He pressed the tip against the building to extinguish it and walked inside, the small bell jingling. Mickey grabbed one of the small shopping carts and carried it straight to the back. He opened up the fridge and tosses in a few Red Bull's for him and his brothers and a couple Arizona's for Mandy. He then went on for the food. He loaded the cart to the top with bread, barbecue chips, chip dip, beef jerky and other small snacks that the would be the Milkovich's meals for the next few days.

There were times where mickeys as damn sure he'd kill for a nice cheeseburger or a greasy slice of pizza. But he had gotten used to the junk food and small snacks they normally lived off of. It was just how things were.

He was on his way out when a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks. "Mickey?" Ian says, stepping out of the back room. Mickey slowly turns around to face him. The red head had on a light blue shirt that hugged his body perfectly, a black apron on over it. He had a crate of drinks in his hand. "You know you have to pay for that, right?"

Mickey raises an eyebrow. "Don't really got any money though," he says. He walked around behind the counter and tosses in two packs of cigarettes.

"Then I'm sorry but you have to put all that food back," Ian says, chewing his lip. He wasn't looking for an argument or a fight, especially not with Mickey. By now Ian considered him a friend but he was sure Mickey wouldn't hesitate to knock his teeth in. He had also just been over to their house a few days ago to hang out with Mandy and vaguely remembered the lack of food in there.

"Listen, Gallagher. I get that you work here and you gotta defend this shit hole or whatever. But I'm walking outta here with my stuff no matter what you say."

Ian stares at him before nodding the slightest bit. "Just go then. Before Kash comes out and sees," he says quietly. Mickey stares at him for a second. He had been preparing for a fight or at least a small argument. But the last thing he expected was for Ian to let him get away with it.

Mickey gives him a small nod before leaving the store, this time quickening his pace to get home. The walk only too 15 minutes but it was enough to make Mickey's legs go numb. He shut the door behind him before kicking off his shoes. "Here's dinner," he mumbles. He tosses a pack of Oreos at his brothers and two Red Bull's and a pack of cigarettes. "Also got you that pack of smokes to share," he says as he carries the cart to his room. Mandy smiles at him She she sees him. She had on plain black tank top, plaid pajama bottoms and her hair was wrapped up in a towel. "Hey, Mick," she says, walking out of the bathroom. She raises an eyebrow and points to the cart of food Mickey was setting down. "Holy shit you really made out."

He smirks and nods. "Hit up the Kash and Grab. They never stop me anyways." He flops down on the bed and opens up the Doritos.

Mandy raises an eyebrow and sits down next to him. "Kash and Grab? Oh, come on, Mickey. That's where Ian works. I'd prefer it if you didn't steal from his work and I'm sure Ian would too."

Mickey shrugs as he sips the Red Bull. "He's the one that let me go without paying."

"You're shitting me," Mandy says, reaching her hand into the bag of chips. Mickey shakes his head. "I took a pack of cigarettes from there once and I had to convince him to just take that. You sure you didn't beat him up for it?"

Mickey laughs. "I'm sure," he grabs the Arizona and hands it to his sister.

"Think he might have a crush on you," she teases, wiggling her eyebrows. It was enough to fluster her brother though.

"Shut the fuck up," he grumbles, rolling his eyes.

Mandy laughs. "What!?"

"He's just a friend of mine."

"You don't have friends," she argues causing a middle finger to be flashed at her.

"I have fucking friends," he says and Mandy drops the conversation, sensing the dangerous turn it was taking.

The rest of the night he two siblings stayed in Mickey's room talking and eating until late that night. Mandy had fallen asleep first, laying pressed against Mickey's wall and he hadn't had the heart to kick her out. So Mickey flipped around on the bed, laying with his head down at the end so he had more space and fell asleep soon after.

________________________________

The images that flashed through his mind were vivid and unmistakable. Lips pressed against lips. Teeth crashed together and clothes were abandoned on the flood beneath the two boys. Mickey had his hand gripping onto the red head's hair as the other boy kept his on Mickey's cheek. Mickey moans softly into his mouth as he rutted against the younger boy's hard cock.

It felt like pure bliss to Mickey. Is mind was blank, the only think he focused on was getting them both to their common goal of release. The room they were in was familiar to Mickey. It was his own bedroom, only if felt warm and safe. But that all changed in a matter of seconds.

"The fuck is going on here!?" A voice boomed around the room. Both teenagers looked towards the source of the noice with widen eyes.

"Dad... dad it's okay," Mickey coaxed, climbing off of the bed and scurrying for his boxers.

"No son of mine is gonna be a goddamn faggot!" Terry yelled, grabbing Mickey by the arm.

The beating that happened afterwards was something out of mickeys worst nightmares. He wanted it to end. Wanted Terry to leave and the horrible sense of disappointment to follow. He wanted the old feeling of the dream to return. The one where he felt safe and happy.

"Mickey!" A voice called. "Mickey!"

Mickey's eyes snapped open and he raised a fist, going straight into attack mode.

"Hey, hey it's just me," Mandy whispers. "It's okay."

Mickey panted softly, slowly lowering his fist. He sits up in the bed and rubs his eyes. "Why the fuck did you wake me?"

"Um, well you kinda..." Mandy trails off, glancing down towards the mattress. Mickey follows her gaze and immediately he feels his cheeks go red. His light grey sweats had a dark wet spot over his crotch and the blankets beneath him were saturated as well. It rarely happened anymore, Mickey figured it had been almost five months since he had last wetted the bed. But there were times were he'd drink too much or he'd get these horrible nightmares and he couldn't control his bladder.

"Get out," Mickey says quietly, staring down at his pants.

"Mickey let me-"

"I said get the fuck out," he says, looking up at his sister.

Mandy doesn't budge. "I'm sick of you doing all this shit on your own. I'm fucking helping you, Mick." Mandy gets off of the bed and motions for Mickey to follow. "Go take a shower and leave bring your dirty clothes back in here to me once you're done. I'll gather up the soiled sheets and take them to the Laundromat later today, Okay?"

Mickey nods slightly, staring down at his hands. Mandy sighs softly and kisses his forehead. "I'm not going to tell anyone. It was an accident. Happens to the best of us." She offers him a small smile before shooting him off to the shower where he goes.

Mickey tosses his soiled clothes onto the ground as he turns on the shower. Mickey climbs under the stream of cold water, shuddering slightly. He leaned his head against wall as the water soaked his hair against his forehead. Mickey squeezed his eyes shut and took in a deep breath. He felt the familiar anger returning, causing him to clench his hands into fists.

It wasn't just the wetting the bed that had Mickey angered. It was the contents of his nightmare. Never once had he had a dream about hooking up with another boy but behold, Ian Gallagher. Mickey had known him for a few weeks and now he was already having dreams about him.

A knock on the door brought him back to reality and he snapped his head towards the sound. "What?"

Mandy cracks open the door and pops her head in. "I was gonna make some toast for myself. Do you want some?" She asks, picking up his dirty clothes.

"Um, Yeah, sure," he mumbles back. Mandy nods and shuts the door. After the door shuts Mickey quickly finishes up in the shower before stepping out and wrapping a towel around his waist. He pulls on an old pair of jeans and a baggy flannel before walking out to the kitchen. On the table Mandy had two plates of toast out and orange juice for the both of them. He walks over and sits down without saying a word.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone," she says softly, taking a bite of her toast. Mickey glances up at her before taking a bite of his own toast. "Was it a nightmare?" He nods. "What was it about?" Mickey shakes his head.

"I don't wanna talk about it, Mandy. I just... can we just drop it?" He asks quietly, staring down at the table.

She nods. "Yeah, Yeah Of course we can, Mickey. But I'm here... if you need to talk to someone."

He smiles a bit, glancing up at her. "I know. Thanks, Mandy." On the table, Mandy's phone buzzes and she smiles, picking it up.

"Hey, I got something that'll cheer you up. You wanna go do some laser tag today?"

Mickey raises an eyebrow. "Laser tag? Why the fuck would we do that?"

She smiles. "It's Carl's birthday today. He wanted to do laser tag so Ian, Lip, Debbie and him are going and Ian invited us. It'll be fun, mick."

He groans as he finishes the toast. "Okay, Fine. I'll go do some fucking laser tag with the Gallagher."

Mandy grins. "Good. We're gonna meet them there at twelve."

Mickey nods. Sure his morning had started off in the worst possible way but now, with the promise of seeing Ian later in the day, Mickey couldn't help but feel slightly better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was so simple. It was mostly just a cute little sibling bonding moment. But get ready for some cute gallavich moments next chapter when they go do laser tag!


	7. Crossfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First week back at school had been stressful but I’ve been slowly writing this chapter throughout the week and finally had time to proof read and now post. Hope you enjoy :)

"Okay," Carl says. Him and Ian were team captains and they were picking their teams for laser tag. Fiona had once dated the guy working there and had been able to rent out the whole room for a whole hour for a fair price. "I'm the captain for my team!" It was Carl, Lip and Debbie against Ian, Mickey and Mandy.

Ian and the two Milkovichs stood on the opposite side as the rest of them. "I feel so fucking gay in this shit," Mickey mumbles, fidgeting with the vest they had to wear. Ian laughs.

"It looks fine. Here." He turns Mickey around and adjusts the vest so that it was looser against his body. As he played around with the straps, his finger tips brushed against Mickey's sides, causing the boy to blush. "Better?"

Mickey nods. "Um, Yeah. Thanks," he says, looking down at his shoes. Soon enough the lights switch off and are replaced with bright neon red ones that decorate the whole room. Small boxes and structures were scattered around the room along with small hide aways.

"Three.... two.... one... start!" A voice says over the intercom. Mickey grins and squats down behind the building in front of them as Mandy and Ian run off together. He peeks his head up and looks out the window, pointing his gun. When he doesn't see anyone he slowly makes his way around the side of the structure and ducks down behind a large block. He then sees someone in a blue vest dart across the open and duck behind a structure just a few feet in front of him. Mickey grins and aims his gun. As soon as the person stands up, he shoots and Lip's vest lights up. "Fuck," he hears him mumble before running off to hide again.

"Nice shot," Ian whispers, coming over to duck down next to Mickey. The two of them kneeled side by side, their sides pressed together in order to fit behind the small area. Mickey found it strange that Ian would come over by him because it was easy to tell that the squeeze would be tight. He glances over at Ian. His eyes scanned over the faded freckles and the orange hair that stuck to the boy's forehead. Mickey licked his lips and knocked his tatted knuckles against the side of his nose, forcing himself to look away. His cheeks flushed a soft crimson red when he realized how ridiculous he looked. Here he was, gapping at Ian like he was some treasure. Something that Mickey had been searching for his whole life and had finally found.

There weren't many kids in school who gave Mickey a chance. Most wouldn't even look in his direction but he had himself to blame. Any kid that pissed him off just the slightest he'd beat or yell at.

But Ian was different.

They first time they had met Mickey proceeded to shove him to the ground and hit him. Yet for some reason that same day, Ian Gallagher decided to try to be his friend. At first it annoyed Mickey but only because it was new. It was new and weird for someone to try to talk to him. But Mickey was slowly growing to love it.

His vest lighting up was enough to get him out of his own head. He glances down at the brighter color as Ian pulled on his wrist. "Come on," he whispers. Mickey nods. He stands up and stumbles behind Ian, staring down at Ian's hand the whole time he was dragged along. They duck down behind another building just as Mandy creeps up behind them. "Carl's up there behind that barrel thing," she whispers, pointing. Ian grins and looks up to where she was pointing. Ian aims his gun and fires, hitting Carl in the chest on his vest. Mickey smiles.

"Good one, Gallagher," Mickey says, smiling over at Ian and Ian grins back. Mandy looks between the two. It was weird seeing her brother hang out with her and Ian so much. Before she could barely drag him out of the house, even for a party. But now all she had to do was say Ian would be there and he'd come. It wasn't that she didn't like it. The whole thing was just new.

"Hey!" Mandy whispers loudly, hitting Mickey in the shoulder. "There's Debbie and Lip. You aim for Lip and I got Debbie." Mickey nods. He looks around and once he spots Lip he aims his gun. He squeezes one eye shut and rests his tongue against his bottom lip.

Ian's eyes immediately flickered down to look at Mickey's tongue resting against his bottom lip. They looked soft, Mickey's lips. And the way Mickey was biting down softly on his tongue was turning on Ian more than it should have.

It was hot in the room, so Mickey's hair was sticking to the sides of his face and his forehead and it only made things worse for Ian. Sure Mickey didn't  have abs or a tanned body. But he was hot in his own way. Ian preferred his dark hair and deep blue eyes any day over some asshole jock from their school. If Ian had a type, it would definitely be dark haired boys with a fuck u-up attitude.

Mickey pulls the trigger and hits lip for the second time, smirking as he does. He then ducks down before lip sees him and leans his back against the barrier, looking back at Ian. "Ten bucks says that after Lip finds out it was me shooting him up the whole time he hates me even more," he jokes.

Ian grins and rolls his eyes. "Not taking that bet because he probably will," he jokes back.

"Oh shit!" Mandy says as her vest lights up. "C'mon, let's go over there," she points, standing up.

________________________________

Mickey laughs and shakes his head. "You're fucking with me, right? Have you seen that ponytail? It's a powerful ponytail, man. That's bullshit. Seagal could totally kick Van Damme's ass,"

  
Ian shakes his head. "Unless. Unless it's Double impact Van Damme. Cause that's some Van double Damme!" He says, laughing.

Mickey laughs too, taking a bite of his pizza. "Fuck Van Damme," he mumbles. Mandy had hit things off with Lip so the two of them decided to sit in a bunk while Debbie and Carl had gone to the arcade. But Mickey wasn't complaining. He liked being alone with Ian like this. Sure there were other people around them, but Mickey almost didn't even notice them. His attention was fully on Ian. Every word he said, Mickey grasped onto, not wanting the conversations they were having to end.

________________________________

"Have a nice day, ma'am," Ian says, handing her her change. After the arcade, Ian had work that evening until closing. Normally he didn't mind, even feeling excited for it. But today he felt neither of those things. Kash was in a frisky mood and normally Ian loved that. But today was not one of those days.

Every time the man would come up behind him and touch him while he was stacking shelves, Ian felt sick to his stomach. Kash was hovering around him more than usual and Ian figured it was because Linda was out with the kids, leaving the two of them alone other than the cameras in the store. "I need your help grabbing something from the back," Kash says, moving to the main door.

Ian wasn't stupid. There was nothing in the back he needed help with other than getting off. It was a line Kash had used many times before. The older man locks the front door and flashes Ian a small grin as he walks into the back room, Ian reluctantly following him.

"Shit you got a lot of groceries," Lip says, glancing up from his place on the couch.

Ian shrugs, setting the plastic bags of food down on the counter. He unwraps his scarf, shrugs off his coat and tosses them on the ground. "Got paid today," he lies. "Are hot pockets okay for dinner?"

Lip nods and stands up off of the couch. He grabs a beer from the fridge and sits down on the stool in the kitchen. "It's Wednesday."

"So?" Ian asks. "Who's home?"

"Just me. Everyone else pissed off to somewhere else," he says. Ian nods and places two hot pockets on a plate. "So... you don't get paid on Wednesdays. I know that because every Friday you put some of the cash you get into the squirrel fund we got."

Ian shrugs. He sets the plate in the microwave and starts it. "Just got paid on a different day this week." Ian stands there, staring at the microwave and watching the numbers count down.

"Ian... I thought you said you were going to end things with him," Lip mumbles, sipping his beer. Ian runs a hand over his face.

"This is my life, Lip. I... I like Kash. So just stay the fuck out of it," he mumbles.

Lip let's out a bitter laugh. "Ian, you're not kidding anyone right now. I know why you're doing this and it's not right. Nothing about this is right. He's what? Like fucking 40 years old and you're 15. Fucking 15, Ian."

"I don't want to talk ab-"

"Yeah, well we are talking about it," Lip says, suddenly getting angry. "It's disgusting. You know I'm the first guy to stick up for you and back you up. I mean hell at first the gay thing was weird for me, but that's not even the thing that bothers me. It's the fact that you're a kid and you're fucking around with a 40 year old pervert that just does this to you because he's fucked up in the brain."

"Shut up, Lip! Just shut up!" Ian yells, eyes locking with his older brother's. He knew Lip was right. What he was doing was bad. Disgusting even maybe. But Ian had tried so hard to just ignore all of the negatives. When he first started to hook up with Kash it made him happy. Every time he showed up to work he got butterflies in his stomach. Now he just felt nauseous. He felt ashamed and disgusted in himself. "I just... I feel disgusted with myself."

Lip sighs softly and nods, running a hand through his hair. "I know, Ian. It's okay, man. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Kash. We'll figure out the money issue. We're gonna find a different way to get money for food and shit. I mean hell, I'm tutoring kids at school and Fiona's working at that cup company or whatever. We have a steady income right now." He stands up and places a hand on his brother's shoulder. He tilts his head a bit so he could look at Ian who was staring down at his feet.

"I used to like it... I mean I didn't mind it but now.... now I just feel disgusting every time we do it. I want to be with someone my own age... I have a crush on someone else and it's just making it even harder to fake this relationship with Kash."

Lip nods his understanding. He felt bad for his brother. Lip was older, he was Ian's protector. But he felt like he was slacking when it came to Kash. He felt like he couldn't protect Ian from Kash like he wanted to. Lip smiles a bit when Ian mentions a crush. "Got your eyes on a new man?" He teases.

Ian blushes a bit and nods. "Uh, Yeah. Pretty sure he's not into me though."

"Who is he?" He asks. Ian flashes him a small smile and rubs the back of his neck.

"Don't hit me for this but, uh... Mandy's brother, Mickey. I'm really starting to like him."

Lip's eyes go wide and he let's out a laugh. "You're kidding me, right? Because for one he's definitely not gay. And two, he's almost as bad as Kash other than the fact that he's not 40. What the hell do you see in that dirt ball?"

Ian frowns. "It's not his fault. I mean yeah he's a little dirty at times, but they've got shit for cash. Can barely afford heat this winter so I don't blame him about that. He's just... I don't know. When he's around me he seems different. He's almost softer I wanna say."

Lip laughs again. "Mickey Milkovich, soft? Ian, I hate to say it but I think you're out of your fucking mind."

Ian shoved his brother playfully in the chest. "You're a dick. You should be happy for me. Mickey's only 17."

Lip grins. "That is true, but I hate to break it to you, Ian. But you've got shitty taste in men."


	8. The Sins of a Caretaker.

Mickey wakes up to the angry yells of his father. "Go get your fucking brother like I told you to ten minutes ago! This is a big run. Means all hands on deck."

Mickey let's out a small groan and pulls the pillow over his head. Maybe if he pretended not to hear them, they'd leave him alone. But he knew he was wrong the second he heard his door creaking open and shutting. A hand comes down onto his back and shakes him gently. "Mick," Iggy whispers. "Mickey gotta get up."

"Get the fuck out of here, Iggy," Mickey complains. He kicks his leg out and hits Iggy in the side. It was his last day of winter break and Mickey wanted to spend it in his bed where he was alone.

"Trust me, I don't wanna drag you along with us either," Iggy says. As much of an asshole that his brother was, Iggy still cared for Mickey. He hated when they had to bring his little brother along on drug runs because sometimes things went south and the last thing he wanted was for Mickey to get hurt or thrown back into juvie. "Dad wants you to come with us to Detroit." The drive was nearly four and a half hours and Mickey didn't know if he could survive such a long drive with his dad and brothers.

"Tell him I'm sick or some shit. Ain't gonna go," he grumbles. Iggy sighs.

"Come on, Mick. Get your ass up before dad comes in here and yells. We're getting everything in the car now so meet us out there," Iggy says as he walks out.

Mickey knew his only option was to drag his ass out of bed, even if it was four am, and follow them to the car. He tugged on a pair of faded jeans, his black flannel and then his navy jacket on top of it. He walked out of his bedroom and slipped into his shoes before going to the car. Everyone was already inside. "Fucking took you long enough!" Terry calls from the drivers seat. Mickey reluctantly walks over and gets into the backseat with Iggy.

Iggy glances over at him and flashes the younger boy an apologetic look. "Sorry," he mouths. Mickey nods and shrugs a bit, looking out the window

The drive to Detroit was rather boring. The first part of the drive was through Indiana which was nothing more than corn fields, small boring towns and even worse highways. Mickey had to sit in the middle seat since the other window seat had some sort of mysterious stain that vaguely resembled vomit. Mickey would be lying if he said he wasn't disgusted from just glancing at it.

Iggy ended up nodding off quite frequently and every single time his head would slowly tilt to the side and land on Mickey's shoulder. And every single time that did happen, Mickey's response was the same. He'd shove him off and curse and Iggy would apologize and fall right back to sleep. It was annoying and Mickey wanted nothing more than to just get out of that fucking car.

But as the drive went on and the same boring roads of boring houses and boring gas stations stretched on, he found his thoughts drifting. He found himself thinking of that afternoon a few days before. Mickey remembered how nice it was to be pressed behind that block next to Ian at the laser tag place. How his body heat was a comforting feeling, something that seemed to ground Mickey and make him feel safe.

And wanted.

And feeling wanted wasn't something Mickey was used to. He had Mandy, who he was kind of close with but she had other friends. Mickey only had her. But now, he had Ian and Ian wanted him. He wanted to hang out with him and talk to him and invited him to places. It was an amazing feeling. Something Mickey didn't feel often and it terrified him. It terrified him that he had this new feeling that he felt so strongly towards someone. Especially a boy.

Whenever he got too close to Ian Mickey always felt his heart beat pick up and he began his nervous ticks; biting his lip, rubbing his nose and cracking his knuckles. It was like he couldn't stop when he was around Ian. Mickey hated it at the same time he couldn't help but be drawn to it.

Terry parks the car behind an abandoned building. It was a dark brown/red brick colored building. It had about five stories to it. The outside was just as creepy looking as the inside. Outside there were over grown weeds and grass. It would have been up to Mickeys knees if it wasn't flattened down by snow. The building itself has ivory and other weeds growing on the brick itself, mold devouring half of it.

"Alright, Iggy and Colin, you two are coming in with me. One of you grab the bag from the trunk," Terry says. He pops open the glove box and pulls out a small hand gun, tucking it into the waist band of his pants. "Mick, don't want you fucking this shit up. You've only done this once or twice and this could be a big haul if everything goes to plan. So you're staying in the car and you'll be look out. If you see a cop then honk the horn three times. Got it?"

Mickey nods. "Got it."

Both of the older brothers and Terry get out of the car. Colin goes to the trunk and pulls out a large duffel bag and that's when Mickey remembers something. When he and Mandy had spent that night in his room talking she had told him how her old fuck buddy was a complete douche like the rest. But he was a douche in a different way. He wasn't using Mandy just for the sex. But for the drugs too. And he remembered vaguely how she had took some of Terry's coke to give to him so that he'd be happy and she filled the bag back up with baby powder. She had tried to take as little as possible out of the bag and Mickey was just hoping that Terry or the man he was selling to wouldn't notice. Otherwise there would be a shit storm over the whole thing.

Mickey climbs over the seats and gets into the drivers seat. He watches as his family disappears into the old building, Iggy glancing back at Mickey once before following behind the two.  Other than now, Mickey had been on three other runs. Terry brought him on his first one when he was 14 and Mickey hated it, but of course he didn't tell his dad that. He had lied and said he loved it. That he wanted to go on more just like his brothers. But Mickey didn't, one little screw up and he knew he'd have his ass beat. But working look out for the drug run was the simplest job and Mickey’s favorite since there wasn't as much room to fuck it up.

Mickey could feel his eyes drooping shut as the minutes ticked by. He switched through the stations on the radio but mostly found static or boring talk shows. He had to keep the radio low anyways so he could hear if any cop sirens were going off. Which he doubted that if a cop wanted to bust them in a drug run that they'd have their sirens on anyways. His eyes quickly opened again when he saw movement coming out of the building. It was Iggy, Colin and Terry.

Terry seemed beyond pissed. He had the black duffel bag gripped tightly in his hand and Iggy had a bloody nose that was dripping onto his shirt. Mickey knew this wasn't good. That Terry was pissed about something. The older man marches over to the car and yanked open the drivers seat. He grabs Mickey by the collar of his shirt and pulls him out of the car. Terry slams him up against the car and opens the duffel bag that was still filled with Coke.

He takes one of the bags of coke out and shoves it against Mickey's chest. "Know what the fuck this is?"

Mickey felt his heart beat a million miles per second. "Um... coke?" He asks nervously.

Terry laughs. "That's what it's supposed to fuckin' be, but no. It's fucking baby powder with a small bit of goddamn coke in it. You know anything about that?"

Mickey remained completely still. If he didn't confess to the crime than Terry would just move on to Mandy and hurt her instead. But Mickey couldn't let that happen. He knew what Terry sometimes did to her and he wasn't going to let it happen again. "I, uh.... I snorted some the other day. Didn't think anyone would notice."

"Didn't think that- are you fucking stupid!? More than half the bag is gone!" He yells, fist slamming into Mickey's stomach. He glances over at his older sons. "Get in the car now. Gonna talk to Mickey." The boys get in without hesitation and Mickey didn't blame them. Terry could be a terrifying man when he wanted to be.

He kicked the bag off to the side before holding onto Mickey's shirt tightly and slamming his fist into his face. Mickey heard a faint cracking sound as it collided with his jaw. Mickey winces and pushes back against Terry, trying to get out of his hold. But the struggling only made it worse. Terry hit him again and again until Mickey felt like he couldn't hold his weight anymore. Thats when terry gripped him with both hands and threw him to the ground, his head colliding with a rock. As he hit it, Mickey immediately felt a sickening heavy feeling in his head.

"Get up! Get in the fucking car!" Terry yelled at him as he got in. Mickey felt like his body was made out of steel. He couldn't move, couldn't think. Even his vision was blurry as he laid there in the snow. "Get up now!"

It took everything in his power to get up into a sitting position but the rush from it all went straight to his head, nauseating him. He glanced at the car and watched as Iggy got out and hurried over to him. "Fuck, Mick," he breaths out, helping his brother up. "You hit your head good."

Mickey shoots him a look as iggy practically dragged him back into the car and in the middle seat.  A small trail of blood trickled down Mickey's lips from his nose. He reaches a shaky hand up to wipe it away, wincing as he did.  There was a gash above his eyebrow and a black eye forming around his right eye and a fainter one on his left. But most of all, his head hurt. It was a constant throbbing nauseating pain that only seemed to get worse and Iggy seemed to notice it. "Dad... think Mickey's got a concussion."

"Probably does. Pussy needs to learn how to fight," he says as he pulls out of the empty parking lot and onto the road again. Iggy glances over at Mickey who had his head drooping forward a bit, eyes squeezed shut in pain. Mickey doesn't move from that position, wincing every time they hit a bump in the road. His head felt like it was on the verge of exploding and the last thing he wanted to do was sit in the car for the next four hours.

"C'mon, man. Rest your head back," iggy whispers. Mickey slowly turns his head and looks at his brother.

"Don't wanna. I'm fine like this."

"No you ain't. If you stay like that you're gonna hurt your fucking neck too." Mickey let's out a sigh of protest before leaning his head back and closing his eyes, willing the minutes of the drive to tick by.

________________________________

By the time they had gotten back to Chicago, Mickey’s head pain had subsided a bit but only to be replaced with a new weird feeling. Mickey didn't know how to describe it other than he felt like he was disorientated. He felt confused, but didn't know over what.

As everyone got out of the car, Mickey remained on the side walk. "Yo, you comin?" Colin calls.

Mickey just stares at him. "I think I'm gonna go somewhere," he mumbles. Before Colin could begin to protest, Mickey started walking off down the street. The wind was bitter and stung as it smacked him in the face. It made his cracked lip feel even more tight and painful but it was easy to ignore it. Over the course of four hours and the years of abuse before that, Mickey had gotten used to the feeling. The feeling of getting beaten down by his own dad and the sad thing was this wasn't the first time he felt like this. There had been several other occasions when he felt he had a concussion but never did anything about it. He wasn't worried about it much since he only had one goal in mind.

Go to Ian's.

His feet felt like they were disconnected from the rest of his body as they carried him effortlessly to Ian's. Mickey knew better of it, knew he shouldn't get too attached to the boy but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to go home and face Mandy or be around Terry and it was too cold to stay outside. Ian's warmth was his only option.

His hand also felt disconnected from the rest of his body as he gently rapped on the door. Moments later it creaked open, revealing Ian's confused face. "Mickey?"

Mickey looks up at him. "Hey."

"Shit... what the hell happened to-"

"You gonna let me freeze my dick off out here or can I come in?" Mickey asks, raising an eyebrow. Ian quickly nods and moves so Mickey can come inside. He shuts the door behind them and Mickey kicks his boots off. "Can I stay the night here?"

Ian nods slowly, his eyes not leaving Mickey's face. He had never seen the boy look so beaten down and tired in his life. "Yeah, of course. Pretty sure Lip went off to a friend’s house tonight so you could have his bed if you wanted." Mickey just nods. To Ian his eyes looked so dead and it wasn't just from the bruises around them. His normally bright blue eyes were fogged over and didn't hold their usual confident tone to them.

"Thanks," was all Mickey mumbles before walking ahead of Ian and going up the stairs.

"I'm going to get you an ice pack or something. And don't even try to protest because I know you fucking need one."

Mickey didn't say anything. Didn't even turn around to signal that he had acknowledged what Ian had said. He continued to heavily drag his feet up the stairs and to Ian's room. He immediately lays down on the boy's bed, staring up at the ceiling. His head wasn't as cloudy as it had been before. He realized he had came to Ian's for help and he felt vaguely embarrassed by it. But not as much as he felt like he should be.

"Okay, I got frozen peas for your eyes and that huge lump on your head. Do you want a rag to wipe off that blood?" Ian asks, handing Mickey the pack of peas.

The older boy shakes his head. He leans up on his elbows and grabs the peas from him, placing it against the worst of the two eyes. "Nah, man. I'm good."

Ian nods and cautiously sits down on the edge of the bed. "Wanna talk about what happened?"

Mickey laughs, wincing as he did. "Didn't come here to talk about my feelings. Don't even know why the fuck I came here."

Ian just nods. He knew what a nightmare Mickey's house was so Ian didn't mind that Mickey had came over. He was actually kind of honored that he had chosen his house to bunk at. "I just... you're really beaten up."

"Yeah, no shit," he snaps, glaring at the red head. His features immediately soften when he realizes what an asshole he was being. Normally he wouldn't care, but he was the one that came to Ian for help.

Mickey let's out a soft sigh and leans back again, eyes glued to his ceiling. "Fucked up on a run with my dad," he mumbles. Ian glances over at him. It was all he had to say for Ian to get the general gist as to what had happened.

From the three years that he had been Mandy's friend for, Ian knew how horrible the Milkovich household got.

"You know that, um... you know you can come over here whenever. I know that your house can be kinda... loud at times," he mumbles.

Micky doesn't glance over, pretending that the blank ceiling was the most interesting thing in the world. But even though Ian didn't straight out say it, Mickey knew what he meant. "Thanks, Gallagher," he whispers. He pulls the frozen peas away from his right eye and switches it to his left so that he could glance at Ian out of the corner of his eye. "You're, uh, you're pretty cool to hang with sometimes."

Ian smiles a bit. He looks over at Mickey and they hold eye contact for a second. His deep green eyes peering into blue ones. The moment didn't last long because Mickey quickly looks away. "I'm beat. Think I'm gonna go to sleep now," he says, sitting up.

"Just stay there," Ian says quickly. "I can take Lip’s bed." Mickey stares at him for a moment before slowly nodding.

"Yeah, Okay," he mumbles. He lays back down on his back and closes his eyes.

"Night, Mick."

"Night, fire-crotch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hoped you enjoyed this chapter! If so please comment below on things you’d like to see/see more of in the upcoming chapters :)


	9. Written in the Scars

It was kind of funny actually. The last time Mickey had spent the night at Ian's house, he woke up and went immediately to the toilet. And once again that was the case. He woke up with a raging headache and nausea that was so bad he had vomited in the toilet once. Now he just laid back against the bathroom wall, rubbing his head.

"Here," Ian says. "These are Lip's clothes but I doubt he'll notice. Your shirt has blood all over it and they probably won't let you into school that way." Ian sets the pair of Lip's clothing down on the sink before stepping over Mickey and starting the shower. "Fi's gonna make breakfast so you can just meet me down there when you're done" Mickey gives him a curt nod before forcing himself up on his feet. He shuts the bathroom door and strips out of his dirtied clothes, climbing into the hot shower.

The feeling was amazing. Nine times out of ten the Milkovich household was out of hot water by the time Mickey got to shower so he eventually gave up on even trying to shower. But the way the hot water beat down on his bruised skin helped him remember how good it felt.

It burnt slightly, turning his pale skin a soft red color. But Mickey welcomed the new pain. It felt better than the stinging of his cut up face or the pain that raged through his head. If Mickey could, he'd spend the next several years of his life in this shower. In here he felt safe, locked away from Terry and his abusive tendencies.

He grabs the shampoo and scrubs it into his hair. The water trickling down his body turns a pink color as the blood that matted the back of his head rinsed down his body, mixing in with the water at his feet. Mickey stared at it, watching the two colors mix on the shower floor.

"Fuck," he groans out, rinsing out his hair. Mickey didn't want to go to school, but he had no other option. He didn't want to go home and if Ian was going, Mickey wanted to go just to be by him. Mickey wanted the feeling of safety he felt with Ian to never end. If he could he'd follow Ian around everywhere just to feel that sense of security.

Once showered and rinsed off, Mickey steps out of the shower and shivers as he grabs an old white towel. He towels himself off before tugging on the clothes Ian left him. Mickey gently dried his hair  with the towel, careful of the bump on the back of his head before exiting the bathroom. He walks down the stairs and the scent of pancakes practically slaps him in the face.

"Hey, feeling better?" Ian asks, grinning at him. Mickey just stares back. The rest of the Gallaghers sat around the table and Mickey could have sworn he had never felt so out of place than he did in that moment.

Mickey offers Ian a small shrug before helping himself to the pancakes. He grabs a plate and loads them up with syrup and butter. He takes the empty seat next to Ian and stuffs a big bite of pancakes into his mouth.

"What the hell happened to your face?" Carl asks, sipping his orange juice. Mickey shoots him a glare from across the table.

"None of your fuckin' business," he grumbles, mouth full of pancakes. Lip on the other hand shot Ian a small smirk. Ian caught his brother's look and immediately glares back.

"Don't," he mouths. When he had told Lip about his crush on Mickey, he wasn't expecting the boy to show up at his house needing a place to sleep. He was expecting to keep his distance from Lip and the others. But now that he hadn't, he was slightly worried that his little secret would get out. But Ian did trust Lip. That was the whole reason why he had told him  about his crush in the first place. He knew Lip wouldn't snitch on him to Mickey.

"We should get going," Ian says and Mickey nods, desperate to get out of room of Gallaghers. He shoved he last of his pancakes into his mouth before standing up. He snatches the mostly empty gallon of orange juvie from the table and downs it quickly.

"So you paying for groceries around here now?" Lip taunts.

Mickey just flips him off. "Fuck off there was like a sip left," he mumbles, walking to the living room. He slips into his shoes and coat as Ian does the same.

"We can stop at your house real quick to grab your backpack."

"Fuck That. Not like I use it anyways," the older boy says. He opens the door and walks out, Ian right behind him.

Ian nods, glancing over at Mickey as they walk down the sidewalk. "Head feeling any better?"

Mickey nods. "Yeah, a bit. After I showered and ate it's a bit better."

Ian nods. "You're not coming to boxing tonight, right?" He wanted the older boy to come to boxing. Mickey was the thing he liked the most about it. He'd be lying if he said Mickey beating on a punching bag while wearing a tight tank top wasn't one of the hottest things he had ever seen.

"Why wouldn't I?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

Ian stares at him before letting out a small chuckle. "Mick, you've got a concussion. Hell you probably shouldn't even be going to school today."

Mickey rolls his eyes. "I'll be fine at boxing. I need it anyways," he mumbles.

"What do you mean?" Ian asks, frowning.

Mickey shrugs. He opens up his pack of cigarettes and places one between his lips, lighting it up. "Pent up anger and shit. Gotta let it out one way or another," he explains. He takes a drag from the cigarette before holding it out for Ian who takes it gratefully.

"But if you get knocked around and shit it's gonna mess with your head and make it worse," he mumbles around the cigarette. Mickey rolls his eyes.

"Stop sounding like a fucking pussy."

The rest of the walk was rather quiet. The two boys continued to pass the cigarette back and forth. Once they reached the school they both went their separate ways. Mickey went to his friends and Ian went over to Mandy.

"Thank god you're finally here," Mandy says. "Have you seen Mickey?"

Ian nods as the two of them sit down on a bench. "Yeah, he spent the night at my place. I meant to text you and tell you but I kinda forgot."

"It's okay. I was just worried about him last night because I know he went on a run with Terry and those things don't always end well."

Ian nods, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, uh... he was a little beaten up. But I helped him and shit."

Mandy nods, smiling over at Ian. She was happy Mickey finally had someone who would look out for him. She had always tried her best to do it herself but Mickey wasn't always the most open or willing to accept the help she offered. But for strange reason, she noticed Mickey getting close with Ian faster than what she was used to. "Thanks, Ian. He just worries me sometimes. He'll get into a fight with Terry or get drunk and then he won't come home that night. And half the time I think he sleeps under the bridge when he does it."

Ian nods. "I told him he can come over whenever. Same goes to you, Mandy." She smiles, kissing Ian's cheek.

Soon the halls began to shrink in body count as everyone scurried off to class. Mickey walks into his first hour just as the bell rang. "I was fucking worried about you, asshole," Mandy says to him. Her eyes go wide as she slowly scans mickeys face. "Holy shit... Mick what happened?"

He shakes his head and slumps down into his seat. "Not in the mood to talk about it."

"You never are Mickey," she mutters back. Mandy turns around in her chair to face her brother. "Tell me what fucking happened."

"Fuck off, Mandy. Said I don't wanna talk about this right now."

"Then when, huh?" She asks, folding her arms over her chest. Mickey rolls his eyes and flips her off, glaring daggers at his sister.

"Hello, would the Milkovichs like to join us for class today?" Mr. Sterns asks. He had yet another one of his cardigans. This one was a dark turquoise color with a black and white flannel underneath, hair gelled back perfectly.

Mickey shrugs. "Not really feeling it today, Sterns. Think Imma take the day off."

Mr. Sterns sighs. "That wasn't an option. You're participating today. In fact, why don't you come do the bell ringer for us on the board?" He asks, holding the chalk out to Mickey.

"No," Mickey says. He rubs his forehead, trying to rub away the small headache he had.

"Yes, now." Mickey stares back at the other man, waiting for him to break the stare down first. When he didn't Mickey let out a heavy sigh and forced himself out of his seat. He walked up to the board and snatched the chalk from his hands. He tried his best to ignore the man's soften expression as he looked at the bruises littering his face. He turns and faces the board, reading over the chemistry equation before shrugging. "I don't know it." Which was a lie. Mickey knew how to do this problem easy. If he really wanted to, he could probably even calculate it in his head.

"At least try the-"

"I fucking told you I don't know how to do it!" Mickey says angrily. He was sick and tired of being bossed around and knocked around by guys older than him. "I'm not fucking doing it!" He slams the piece of chalk on the ground and looks back up at the teacher.

"Hallway. Now," he says in a deadly tone. Mickey snorts.

"Already on my way out," he mutters back. He walks out the classroom, slamming the door behind him and leans back against the wall. The rest of the class Mickey stayed with his back against that wall, eyes closed. He had to do everything in his power not to just punch a hole in every wall there, but it was hard. His anger was only growing which caused his headache to worsen with it. Finally the final bell rang and Mr. Sterns came out to retrieve Mickey. "Mikhailo, speak with me for a moment." Mickey let's out a heavy sigh as he forced himself onto his feet and into the teacher's class room.

"What do you want?" He mumbles. Sterns shuts the door and sighs heavily.

"I'm sick of your outbursts, Mickey. The detentions don't seem to be doing the job and I'm considering bringing your parents in for a meeting on how to fix this."

The second the word "parents" came out of the teacher's mouth, Mickey looked up at him, trying to hide the fear on his face.

"Dad wouldn't come to the school."

"What about your mom?"

"Dead."

Sterns rubs his forehead and nods slowly. "Why wouldn't your dad come?"

Mickey knocked his knuckles against the side of his nose. "Works a lot so he ain't home often."

Mr. Sterns stares the boy down, trying to deceiver his lie. "I'm going to give him a call anyways so we can set up a meeting when he's available."

Mickey shakes his head. "You're just wasting your fucking time. He won't come here."

"Then let me waste my time. Let me call him and see what happens.... why are you so against him coming?"

Mickey licks his split lip and looks away from him. "I'm not... I ain't against it. Just trying to save your time," he mumbles. Sterns immediately senses the shift in the boy's attitude and starts to put the pieces together. The bruises and cuts were only the scars Terry had left on the outside of the boy and Sterns was finally now realizing that. He knew Mickey was into dumb shit and was a fighter so he always blamed the cuts on that. But now he wasn't so sure.

"Have you ever thought about talking to a counselor here?"

Mickey immediately raises an eyebrow. "The fuck for?"

He sighs and shakes his head. "Never mind," he said, not wanting to start the boy back up again. He could sense the hostility Mickey felt towards the whole subject and figured he went through enough in the past few days. "Listen... I won't call your dad yet. But these misdemeanors need to stop. Do we have an understanding, Mikhailo?"

Mickey rolls his eyes and nods, picking up his backpack. "Yeah, sure. Whatever Sterns," he mutters, leaving the classroom without a second glance.

________________________________

It was a quiet ride to Buster's Gym. The two boys sat next to eachother like usual but neither one spoke to the other. The first time one of them tried to actually speak was when they had already changed and were walking out of the locker room together. "Mickey, you really shouldn't box anyone today," Ian says to him. He carried his new boxing gloves with him into the gym and walked over to the punching back with Mickey.

"Stop being such a pussy, Gallagher. I'll be fine," Mickey says, grinning a bit. He licks his busted up lip before wrapping his hands in the white tape. "Wanna hold it for me?" He gestures toward the bag. Ian nods. The boy sets down his boxing gloves before moving behind the bag and holding it in place for Mickey to hit. The older boy squared up to the bag and hit it with such force that Ian stumbled backwards a bit. Mickey could feel the adrenaline and anger quickly rushing back into his hands as he slammed them into the bag, pretending it was his dad instead of a stupid bag.

"Shit, Mick," Ian breaths out, licking his lips. Mickey smirks at him, slamming another fist into the bag and trying to ignore the pain resurfacing in his head. "Hey, why don't you sit down for a second?" He asks, noticing Mickey's light headedness. He backs away from the bag just far enough so that he could look at Ian

"I'm fine," he says, face blank. "In fact... hey you!" He calls, waving a boy over. "You wanna get in there with me?" He points to the boxing ring and the boy nods.

"Hell yeah," he grins.

As Mickey starts to follow behind him, Ian grabs him by the wrist. "Mickey, c'mon. You're gonna fuck your head up even more."

Mickey stares down at Ian's hand for a split second before yanking it away. He reaches past Ian and grabs a pair of boxing gloves, slipping them on. "I don't need a babysitter," he mutters, walking into the ring with the boy.

"Looks like someone already kicked your ass," the kid says, looking at Mickey's cut up face.

Mickey ignores the comment as he swings a fist forward, colliding with the taller boy's cheek. The kid stumbled backwards and moves his jaw back and forth, easing the pain. Mickey would have taken the opportunity to throw another punch but he felt the dizziness return. He squeezed his eyes shut for a split second and opened them just in time to see a gloved hand flying towards his face. He tried to move out of the way but his actions were slow and sluggish, ending with the punch landing him square in the nose. Mickey stumbles on his feet, but somehow maintains his balance. Everything around him started getting blurry. Even the kid in front of him seemed out of focus. It was so bad that Mickey barely noticed as another punch landed him on his ass and hurt his already split lip. He let's out a groan and swings a fist forward. The taller kid knocks it away with ease and with one more punch, Mickey was on his ass.

"That's enough," he heard a voice say. Mickey glances over through his blurry vision and could make out the features of a familiar red head climbing into the ring. "C'mon, Mick." Ian reaches down and pulls Mickey up by slipping his arms under his shoulders.

"I'm fuckin' fine," Mickey grumbles out angrily. He had gone in there hoping to release some anger by wailing away on some random kid, but instead had walked out with even more pent up anger.

"Just shut up," Ian says back. He carefully helps Mickey back into the locker room but as soon as the doors close, Mickey shoved Ian hard in the chest.

"Just leave me the fuck alone! I was fine! I was gonna kick his ass!"

Ian rolls his eyes. "The only guy getting their ass beat was you. You looked like you were about to puke."

Mickey shakes his head and glares at Ian. "I'm sick of this," he whispers out, knocking his knuckles against the side of his nose.

Ian frowns, looking over at him. "Sick of what?"

Mickey shakes his head, sitting down on the bench. "Sick of fucking everything. I don't know if there's anything that doesn't either piss me off or make me wanna explode."

Ian nods understandably. Sure Frank had his moments and had hit Ian or his siblings. But that was rare and only when he was trashed. Ian couldn't even begin to image having his father beat him on a regular basis like Mickey's did. The things that did to Mickey were too horrible for Ian to even think about.

So he understood why Mickey was angry. He hadn't won the fights at home and so he needed to win the ones here to compensate.

"I brought you a Gatorade," Ian says quietly, trying to calm him. He pulls out a blue Gatorade and holds it out to Mickey. The older boy looks over at him and couldn't help the small smile on his face. He sits down on the bench next to Ian and grabs the Gatorade from his hands.

"Thanks," he mumbles, taking a long sip from it.

Ian nods a bit, biting his bottom lip. Mickey glances over at him and so help him did he want to just lean in and kiss Ian right there. He wanted to be the one tugging and biting at Ian's bottom lip. But he couldn't.

At least not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep torturing them lol but I promise things are about to get real good in the next up coming chapters ;)


	10. Sex Ed

"Take that bitch!" Mandy says, laughing. Ian rolls his eyes, tossing his controller onto the table. 

"You fucking cheated!" He laughs. Mandy looks at him innocently. 

"How?" She asks, grinning. 

"You can't kick me in the ribs while I'm trying to fucking knife you!" She shrugs as she turns off the game. 

"Show me the rule book," she says. The front door then opens and slams shut. Mickey walks in and kicks his shoes off, wiping a bit of blood from his nose off on his sleeve. "Mick, what the hell happened?" Mandy reaches down and pops a bagel bite into her mouth. He rolls his eyes before walking over and eating one of them as well. 

"Dumbass at school owes me money still and wouldn't give it to me until I kicked the shit out of him," he mutters. Mickey reaches towards the table and picks up Ian's Mountain Dew. 

"Hey that's mine!" He complains. Mickey shoots him a look, flips him off and then walks into his room, Mountain Dew in hand. 

"Go ahead and grab another," Mandy says. "I've gotta get going though."

Ian raises an eyebrow and looks up at her. "Got a hot date or something?" He teases. The small smile spreading across Mandy's lips was enough to tell Ian he was correct. "Who is it?"

"Actually.... it's with Lip," she says quietly. 

"No shit?"

She smiles and shakes her head. "No shit," she says. "We're going to see a movie tonight."

Ian smiles and stands up. "Well I hope things go well, but if Lip tries to fuck you over tell me. Text me afterwards though?"

She nods. "Text you after," she agrees. 

After that Mandy had gone into her room to get ready and had let Ian stay to do some of his homework. It was almost never quiet in the Gallagher household and it made it quite difficult for Ian to get anything productive done. Once Mandy leaves Ian stands up. He grabs his algebra book and knocks on Mickey's door. "Fuck off!" He groans through the door. Ian smiles a bit to himself and cracks open the door. 

"Hey," he whispers. The room was engulfed in darkness, not a single light on and Mickey was sprawled out on his stomach. Ian smiles a bit to himself as he looks at him. Mickey rolls over on his bed and rubs his eyes. "The fuck you want Gallagher?"

"I,uh.... I kinda need help with my algebra homework," he says quietly, leaning against the door frame. 

"Can't help. Don't know how to do algebra."

"That's bullshit. You helped me on the bus that one day," Ian challenges. Mickey let's out a heavy sigh. 

"Then come the fuck over here cause I ain't getting up." Ian smiles to himself. He reaches up and flips on the lights before sitting down on the edge of the bed next to the older boy. Mickey sits up and palms at his eyes. 

"What'd you need help with?"

"This problem right here," Ian says, pointing to a problem in the middle of the page. Mickey snatched the book from his hands, tatted fingers brushing against freckles ones. He holds the book in his hand and stares down at it for a few minutes in silence. 

"Alright here's your problem," he says, pointing to the third step in the equation. "You're not factoring it properly. It's gotta be two and negative eight. Not positive," he hands the book back over before laying on his back. 

Ian stares down at the problem. He erases his mistake and fixes it. "How come you never do you're algebra homework when you're so fucking good at it?"

Mickey rolls his eyes. "Because I don't give a shit. Algebra isn't gonna get me anywhere in life."

"It'll get you to college."

"Not going."

Ian shakes his head. "You could. You're smart, Mick."

He let's out a heavy sigh and shakes his head. Mickey stands up off his bed and reaches into his drawer. "So you wanna talk about college or would you rather get high with some quality weed?" He smirks, holding up a bag of weed. 

Ian grins a bit and closes his textbook. "Definitely option number two."

"That's what I thought," the older boy mumbles. Mickey sits down next to Ian and Ian scoots over a bit so that their thighs were touching. The action went straight to Mickey's dick. He clears his throat and opens up the small baggie. Mickey always made sure to hide it under his boxers in his drawer so that his brothers wouldn't get into it. He normally wasn't one for sharing it with anyone, but he didn't mind giving some to Ian. 

After rolling up two joints, Mickey passed one over to Ian and leans back against the wall. "Whatcha doin' here anyways?" He mumbles, fumbling around in his pocket to find his lighter. 

"I was here with Mandy. But she left on a date and said I could stay here to do some homework. Figured you wouldn't mind."

Mickey raises an eyebrow as he holds the lighter up and lights the end. "Date? Another sleazy fucker who's gonna steal my dad's coke?" He passes the lighter over to Ian. 

He chuckles and shakes his head, placing the joint in his mouth and lighting it. "Doubt it. Lip wouldn't do that."

"Fuck... You mean my sister is on a date with your brother?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. Ian nods. "No offense Gallagher but your brother is kind of a dick sometimes."

Ian laughs. "Pretty sure he thinks the same thing about you." Mickey flips him off. "I'm just fucking with you... well not really but whatever."

Mickey shrugs. He takes a hit from the joint before exhaling the smoke. "Don't really give a shit what your messed up family thinks about me."

Ian raises an eyebrow. "My family's messed up? You're one to talk," he jokes. 

"Hey, I never said mine wasn't messed up too. I mean what normal dad takes their sons on drug runs?"

Ian laughs. "Guess that's true." He sprawls out on the bed, his legs dangling off the edge a bit as he smokes. "Hey, Don't you have gym third hour with me right?"

Mickey nods. During gym class Mickey had always been very careful to avoid Ian. He wasn't sure his dick would be able to handle seeing Ian sweaty and running around. Not to mention that he'd occasionally see him shirtless in the locker room. "Yeah, why?"

"I think Angela's coming in. You know the same sex Ed lady that they have come in teach to us every year for a day since sixth grade. Gonna be fucking awkward and shit."

Mickey laughs. "What? You can't handle a little sex talk, Gallagher?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. 

"Not when it's straight sex talk. All she talks about is what not to do while fucking a girl and if you do it wrong what kind of fucked up stds you'll get."

Mickey rolls his eyes. "That's cause she assumes there's no fags on the southside. Pretty sure you're like the only one anyways."

Ian shrugs. "I beg to differ," he mumbles, small smirk on his face. Ian had already hooked up with one of the football players, Roger Spikey and some kid that was in his English class last year so he knew for sure he wasn't the only gay boy on the southside. 

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Ian shrugs innocently. "Nothing," he teases. 

Mickey rolls his eyes. "You're a dick," he mumbles. He glances down and knocks his knuckles against the side of his nose. "You, uh... you ever fuck another dude?" He asks, putting his joint out in the ash tray. 

Ian's eyes widen a bit. "You wanna... you wanna know?" He asks, surprised. He couldn't imagine a world in which Mickey Milkovich would be asking about his sex life. It just never seemed like a possibility. Mickey just continues to stare, eyebrows raised. Ian let's out a small sigh and puts his joint out next to Mickey’s. "I mean... yeah. All quick fucks though. Nothing else really," he lies. No way would he tell Mickey about his little thing with Kash. Ian had become embarrassed about the whole ordeal. "How about you?" He asks and when Mickey's eyes widen Ian adds. "I meant in general! With like a girl, have you ever had sex?"

Mickey nods, picking at the skin around his thumb. He could feel his heart beat rapidly in his chest. He wasn't sure if it was the weed making him feel so courageous and bold or if he was just so horny he didn't care anymore. But Mickey was done hiding his attraction to the red head. Sure he wasn't going to ask him to go on dates or make out with him or any of the stuff Mickey considered "too gay". He just wanted a quick fuck out of it. "So, uh, what if we did?" He mumbles quietly. 

Ian frowns a bit. "What if we did what?"

Mickey shakes his head. "Don't make me say it, man... what we were just talking about... do you wanna ya know?"

Ian's eyes go wide with realization. Realization that Mickey Milkovich, one of the biggest fag bashers on the southside had just asked him to fuck. "Oh... uh..." Ian starts but couldn't get the words out. The whole thing felt too surreal. He nods his head quickly and before he knew it, Mickey's hands were on his pants. He tugged on them and unzipped them before Ian finally slipped them off. "Have you ever..." he begins, but trails off. Sure Mickey Milkovich was in bed with him, tugging his sweats off as he spoke but Ian still couldn't believe what was happening. 

Mickey shakes his head shyly. "Never," he mumbles, tugging his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor. Ian nods. He then leans over Mickey and grabs a bottle of lotion he saw on the top of his bed. He sets it down on the mattress for the time being before they both were completely naked. He gets a bit of lotion on his fingers before leaning forward, about to push one in. "Don't." Ian looks up when he heads Mickey speak. His whole face goes white. He was afraid Mickey had last second changed his mind and he was in for the biggest fag bashing of his life. "Just get the fuck in me. Don't need any of that other shit."

Mickey had one destination in mind. Get Ian Gallagher inside of him. He didn't want to kiss or anything else, figuring it would seem too intimate. 

Ian nods reluctantly. The boy rubs some of the lotion on his cock and Mickey rolls over on the bed so that he was on his hands and knees. Ian holds onto his one hip loosely and with the other, slowly guides himself in.  Mickey let's out a quiet grunt. His forehead was pressed down onto the mattress and he kept his eyes trained on the blankets. 

"You good?" Ian asks quietly receiving himself a curt nod from the older boy. Ian knew it would take time for Mickey to adjust a bit, but he also knew the boy would get even more pissed if he was babied. So Ian wasn't going to baby him one bit. 

He start to rock his hips into Mickey so that half of his cock slide in and out at a comfortable pace. Mickey let's out a series of small grunts, biting down onto his lip. Ian leans down, his stomach pressed against Mickey's back. He wraps an arm around the older boy's waist and pulls him back closer to him. Mickey wanted to protest. To tell Ian to let him go but he couldn’t. Sure he didn’t want Ian touching him so much, but Mickey couldn’t form the words to tell him to keep his hands off. All of it just felt so good. So right. 

Mickey had never felt these sensations the previous times he had fucked and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to go back to his old ways. Not after this. 

Ian kept his eyes casted down. He watched as he quickly slide in and out of Mickey's right hole. "Oh fuck," Ian pants out, rolling his hips.

Mickey props himself up on his forearms and pushes all of his weight back against Ian. He rests his head down against the mattress and reaches a hand down to start jerking himself to the same pace Ian was going. 

The younger boy presses his hand down against mickeys back, breathing heavily. “Gonna cum, Mickey,” he says. After a few more hard, fast thrusts, Ian came inside of Mickey. 

The raven haired boy let’s out a moan as he feels Ian fill him up. He bites down hard on his lip, holding back a moan as he feels the warmth from his cock pool into his hand. 

Once they both finish, Ian slowly slides out of him and flops down onto the bed next to Mickey. Mickey lays there for a few moments, his stomach and cheek pressed to the mattress. His heart was beating a million miles per second and he knew it wasn’t just because he had just had the best fuck in his life. 

But also because he was afraid. 

“Get up,” he says, looking over at Ian. “My brothers and dad are gonna be home soon.”

Ian stares at him for a second, still recovering from the fact that he had just fucked southside’s biggest fag basher. He then nods for a quick moment and scrambles out of the bed, gathering his clothes. He slips into them and looks back to Mickey as he zips up his pants. “Do-“

“Just shut the fuck up, Gallagher,” Mickey threatens. The red headed boy remains silent for a moment before slowly grinning. He found it funny how moments ago Mickey was taking it up the ass and now he was threatening Ian. The boy who belonged to the dick that was in Mickey. 

“I’ll see you later,” Ian says. He flashes Mickey a small smile before leaving.


	11. Angela

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is kind of short. Promise the next one will be longer!

It felt like Mickey was floating on air. Ever since he had let his guard down for those few minutes with Ian, he felt different. And not entirely in a bad way. He felt happier. That some of his bottled up stress had finally left him and he could breath again. Even if it was only a little bit.

But he was also scared. Scared that someone knew his deepest, darkest secret.

Now it was P.E. And he was sweating his ass off and not from exercise. He was nervous because today was the day that Angela was coming to explain sex to a bunch of kids who probably already had it. Mickey stood off to the side as all the kids piled onto the bleachers. "Milkovich," Mr. Grey called. Mickey raises and eyebrow and looks at him. "Bleachers. Now." Mickey let's out a groan as he walks to the bleachers. He glances up at the rows which were mostly filled by now. He felt a drop of sweat roll down his forehead as he walked up the steps and was forced to take the only available seat next to a familiar redhead.

"Hey," Ian smiles. Mickey glances at him from the corner of his eye and nods.

"Yo," he mumbles. He kicks his feet up next to the kid in front of him which earns him a dirty look. A look Mickey returns with a middle finger. Ian smiles, cheeks blushing softly.

The raven haired boy runs tatted knuckles through his hair and folds his arms over his chest as Angela walks over in front of them. Ahead of the bleachers was a screen and a projector. She smiles widely at the students. "Good afternoon everyone! My name's Angela Gonzalez but since I'm not your teacher you can just call me Angela. Today I'm going to be educating you all on safe sex and I will also be sharing stories with you guys and answer any questions. And yes I know most of your questions are just to get a few laughs, but as long as it isn't about my personal sex life, I'll answer. Anyways, let's begin."

The first part of the presentation pertained mostly to safe sex and how to have it. Mickey got bored rather quickly and so did most of the other kids. But the second there was a cartoon drawing of two people having sex on the screen, everyone seemed to wake up. A boy in the front row raises his hand and is then called on within seconds. "Are we only learning about straight sex? Or that weird queerbo shit too?" He asks and the classroom all seems to erupt in laughter. Everyone except for two kids start to laugh.

Mickey's face was bright red as he forced himself to laugh. Ian on the other hand was staring down at his shoes like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Mickey chances a look over at Ian and the red headed boy looks back. Mickey clears his throat awkwardly and quickly looks away. "Aye yeah sex lady!" Mickey calls. "The fags in the class need to know safe sex too!" He says and everyone begins to laugh again. This time, Mickey forces a more realistic laugh out, but it doesn't quite meet his eyes.

She sighs. "Okay, Okay, that's enough," she says, shaking her head. "That's actually a good point. There isn't just sex between men and women. There's also sex between two women or two men but that's later on in the presentation." Mickey felt his forced smile immediately fade. The last thing he wanted was a lecture on gay sex while sitting right next to the kid he had gay sex with just the day before. Today just seemed to be one big nightmare for Mickey.

The class was silent for a blissful few minutes, but the second “gay sex” came out of Angela’s mouth, that ended.

“Listen, I understand that most of you kids in here will never need to know any of this. But one, it’s good to be educated on it anyways. And two, there may be a select few who need to know this and are too scared to ask for help,” Angela says.

If felt like the words were directed at Mickey himself. He folded his arms over his chest again and tapped his foot nervously on the bleachers. Next to him, he could feel Ian doing the same.

On the screen, Angela explained what gay sex was and the risks involved with it. Of course the risks were mostly the same as before. Except in this case there wasn’t a chance for pregnancy. During the whole class kids kept raising their hands and asking ignorant questions. Mickey knew none of them really wanted to learn about it. But of course she answered all of their questions.

Finally the horrendous hour seemed to end and they were sent back to the locker rooms to change. Mickey goes over to his locker and tugs his gym shirt over his head, stuffing it into his locker. After that he sat down on the bench, running his hands over his face. He had a headache and he wasn’t sure if it was from dehydration or the fact that his life seemed to be a big ball of stress at the moment. And he knew that was the last thing it should be. That morning he felt as if some of that stress had finally left, but now it was back and worse than before.

He had finally found someone, a boy, to mess around with and relieve some of that stress. But he couldn’t get that small sickening feeling out of the back of his mind that he was doing something wrong.

By the time he finished changing, mostly everyone had left the locker room. Mickey grabs his backpack and slings it over his shoulders. As he turns, he sees Ian heading for the door at the same time. They lock eyes for a moment, but Mickey quickly breaks the contact. He doesn’t move though and neither does Ian.

“I’m working at the store today. You could come over around five if you wanna, uh... hang,” Ian says before quickly leaving the locker room.


	12. The Back Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for a bit. But I am going on vacation next week so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to write. Which means I’m not sure when I’ll update again but I’ll make sure to try and post as soon as possible Bc it’s a long car ride so hopefully I can write then.

Mickey fiddled with his lighter as he attempted to light the cigarette that dangled between his lips. He shook the lighter and when he didn't feel the liquid moving around in it, through it to the ground. "Damn things never last more than a few days," he mutters angrily, tucking the cigarette back behind his ear.

He needed something. Anything to occupy him as he walked down the cracked sidewalks to the Kash and Grab. Apparently, he had lost all self-respect for himself because he was going there to bang Ian Gallagher. As much as he hated himself for doing it the first time, he couldn't help but feel drawn to the boy for some reason. It was a feeling Mickey hadn't seemed to be able to shake.

He pushes the door open and a little bell rings above it. He glances up at the noise as he steps inside. Mickeys eyes flicker over to Ian. The boy was behind the counter helping some older woman. Ian glances over towards the door and Mickey saw the corners of his mouth twitch up into a small smile.

"Have a nice day, ma'am," he says. The woman smiles at him and carries her bags out the door.  For a moment they both just stare at each other, neither one knowing what to do. "Since you're here... mind helping me carry something out of the back?"

Mickey grins slightly and nods. "Yeah, Whatever." Ian nods. He walks out from behind the counter and locks the front door before leading Mickey to the back. As the door swings shut behind them, Mickey could feel the other boy's hands on his waist. Ian turns Mickey around and gently pushes him up against the wall. "Want me to suck you off?"

Mickeys eyes widen a bit. "Uh, Yeah. Whatever you wanna do, Gallagher," he smirks and Ian returns it. The younger boy kneels down in front of Mickey and undos his jeans, pulling them down to his ankles. He reaches his freckles hand out again and slowly palms mickey through his boxers.

He tilts his head back at the contact, leaning it against the wall. "Can't wait to have you in my mouth, Mickey," Ian whispers, pulling down his boxers. Mickey felt his breath stutter for a moment. He had never heard anything so hot in his life. He was almost coming at the words.

"Then do it already," he tells him. Ian grins a bit. He places his hand on mickeys thigh as he uses the other one to guide the boy's cock into his mouth. Ian takes his tip and sucks gently. Mickey let's out a small moan. He looks down and watches as Ian slowly starts to bob his head, taking more and more of him into his mouth.

It didn't feel like anything when Sam or any other girl had done it. It felt a hundred times better. The pleasure he felt already was explosive, something he never wanted to go away. He reaches a hand down and grips onto Ian's hair, shoving him closer onto his cock. "Oh fuck," he pants out and he could have sworn he saw Ian's eyes light up in a form of a smile. Mickey bites down on his lip to suppress his groans. It was stupid, and he knew it, but Mickey didn't want Ian knowing how much he was really enjoying this.

Mickey gently rolls his hips into Ian's mouth, legs trembling with pleasure. He grips harder into Ian's hair as he feels the pleasure build up in the pit of his stomach. "Fuck Gallagher... Ian," he says. His head tips back and he lets out a quiet groan as he cums into Ian's mouth. He pants heavily and looks down as Ian pulls off and swallows. It was one of the hottest things Mickey had ever seen.

Mickey reaches down and fixes his boxers and jeans around his waist as Ian stands back up. "You, uh... want me to help you out with that?" Mickey asks, pointing to Ian's hard on. Going down on a guy wasn't something Mickey was necessarily dying to do. But he also would be lying if he said he wasn't the little bit interested in what it would be like. Cause he knew he loved being on the receiving side of it. He just wanted to know what Ian had felt the whole time being on the other end.

Ian laughs and shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. The apron covers it," he says. He fixes the apron around his neck and smooths his hair down from where Mickey was holding onto it. After wards, he opens up the door and walks out of the back room. Mickey stands there for a moment. Stunned. He didn't understand why Ian wouldn't want something in return after he had given Mickey so much pleasure. And Mickey didn't understand why he didn't take what he got and go. He wanted to make Ian feel as good as he did. And that feeling was unusual for him. Any sexual interaction he had ever done with someone else had always felt like a chore. He'd do the bare minimum and then leave. Never offering more than he had to. And he had liked it that way so far. But now it felt different.

He walks out of the back room, taking in a deep breath and glances at Ian. "Later," he mumbles, walking out of the store.

By the time Mickey got home, he had gotten his hands to stop shaking for the most part. But his blood was still full of adrenaline. He was so ready to get out of the store, he forgot to pick up a new lighter on the way out.

He kicks his shoes off and throws his coat on top of them before walking towards the kitchen where he spots a lighter on the counter. He reaches out to grab it but has it swiped away at the last second. Mickey looks up and his eyes lock with his father's

"Where you been?" The man asks. He holds the lighter up that he had taken off the counter and holds it up to the unlit cigarette that was between his lips.

Mickey shrugs. He moves past him and pulls a beer out of the fridge. "Just out. Hanging with some friends and shit," he says. He cracks open the beer can and holds it up to his lips. His hands were shaking again just from the stare down he was getting from Terry. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle another ass kicking without having a heart attack.

Terry laughs at him and shakes his head. "Your flies down. Next time make sure you close up shop before you leave the girl's house." He hands the lighter over to Mickey. He looks at his son and lets out another amused chuckle as he walks out of the kitchen.

Mickey let's out a sigh of relief and fixes his jeans. Next time he was going to make damn sure they were fixed before coming home. He holds onto the lighter with a strong grip as he made his way to his room where he planned to spend the rest of the day.

________________________________

Ian felt his body tense when a hand rested on his hip. Ian sets the can down on the shelf and reluctantly turns around. He looks up at Kash and forces a small smile. "Hey, Kash," he says.

He smiles back. "I locked the store for us. Linda's out with the kids at a doctor's appointment so we have a bit," he says, hand rubbing the boy's side.

Ian felt like he was going to be sick. He couldn't do this with Kash anymore and he knew that. It made himself sick just thinking about it. "Kash I-"

"You can even grab groceries for your family before you leave. It's on the house," he says.

Ian bites down hard on his bottom lip and shakes his head. "No, I don't think... I don't think this is a good idea anymore," he says. "I mean I think Linda's onto us and I need this job, Kash. Plus you'll lose your kids if she finds out."

Kash remains frozen in place, looking at Ian with surprise. "You're hooking up with someone else?"

Ian's eyes go wide. "What? No! No, I'm just... I just don't wanna do this anymore."

Kash lets out a bitter laugh and drops his hand from Ian's side. "Yeah. Yeah I get it," he says, backing up. "Why don't you just take the rest of the day off?"

Ian opens his mouth to say something but then closes it and nods a bit. "Um... yeah okay?" He says, taking off his apron and handing it over to Kash. "I'll see you later." After the words were said, Ian practically sprinted out of the little shop. The second he opened the door and his feet hit the pavement, he felt his breath return.

Ian walks into his house and kicks off his shoes.

"Hey," Lip calls from the couch, glancing over at him. Ian grins back. For once after coming home from work, he felt good. Like he was walking on air.

"Hey," he smiles flopping down on the couch next to his older brother. Lip raises an eyebrow and grins at him.

"What's got you all happy?"

Ian shrugs. "Nothing really... but I finally broke things off with Kash," he says proudly.

Lip grins. "You serious? That's awesome, man," he says. He knew his little brother liked screwing around with Kash. At least in the beginning and he never knew why. But Lip couldn't hide the overwhelming satisfaction that he got from Ian telling him they had finally broken things off.

Ian nods. "Yeah, I'm a free man now. Well... kinda I guess."

Lip raises an eyebrow, smirking slightly. "Kinda? Let me guess Mickey Milkovich turned out to be gay?" He jokes.

"Actually, Yep. Mickey is gay and we banged for the first time the other day." He says matter of factly. Ever since Ian's first time hooking up with Mickey, he felt happier. Screwing around with Kash was satisfying in the beginning. But with Mickey it was different. It was beyond satisfying. It was pure bliss the first time they had fucked. And it wasn't even just the sex that made Ian like hanging with Mickey so much. He looked past the grin on the boy's face and his selfish attitude and realized how damaged the boy truly was. He knew he needed help and for someone to be there for him and Ian wanted to be that someone.

Lip laughs. "Yeah, Maybe in a million fucking years he'd be."

Ian shrugs and folds his arms over his chest, looking over towards the tv. "Believe me or don't. But I'm a hundred percent sure that the sex I had with him wasn't imagined."

Lip raises an eyebrow. "You're serious? Mickey Milkovich. Son of Terry Milkovich is a raging homosexual?"

Ian nods. "A huge one. But don't tell Mandy or anyone. He'd kill me if he found out I told you and I... I like hanging out with him. I don't wanna ruin it," he shrugs.

Lip nods. "Yeah, don't worry. Your secrets safe with me. I just can't believe out of all the guys at school and just around the neighborhood that you chose Mickey. I've said it once before and I'm gonna probably say it at least a few more times this month. But you have the worst possible taste in men, Ian."

Ian laughs and stands up. "Whatever, man," he says, grabbing his backpack up off the floor. "I'm gonna head upstairs and study for my algebra test."

Lip nods. "Just make sure you lock the door if you start sexting Mickey.

Ian flips him off and turns around quick enough so lip wouldn't see the small smile on his face.


	13. Nicotine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posts. It's been a crazy couple of weeks but enjoy this chapter of Bloody Knuckles :)

Mickey flicks Ian hard in the back of the head which causes the younger boy to flinch. "Fucking - Mickey." Ian rubs the back of his head and grins when he turns to see him. Mickey offers a small smile back but quickly wipes it away when Mandy raises an eyebrow.

"Sup, faggot," he says, sitting down next to Ian.

Mandy continues to stare at him. "You're sitting with us again," she says matter of factly.

"Yeah... I am," he says, raising his eyebrows. He knew it was "abnormal" for him to be hanging out with Mandy and Ian so much during school, but Mickey couldn't help himself. There was just something about Ian that Mickey couldn't see to stay away from for too long. And he would know because he had tried. After their last time hooking up, Mickey made sure to stay away from Ian as much as possible for the past week. The only time he had seen Ian was in the halls, gym class and at his house once. But even then Mickey ignored him. Now Mickey couldn't seem to take the distance anymore.

Mickey looks over at Ian and hits him playfully on the shoulder. "Dude, you were fucking awesome at handball yesterday in gym."

Ian blushes a bit and smiles, biting into his sandwich. "Thanks," he says. Mickey nods and plays with the bottom of his shirt. He felt his heart thump loudly in his chest and his sister's eyes staring over at him wasn't helping any to calm it. He didn't know why but suddenly being around Ian made him feel out of breath. Especially with Mandy staring daggers at him.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He asks her.

Many smiles a bit and shrugs. "Nothing," she says, twirling her hair with her finger. "Just listening to you two idiots talk about gym class like it actually matters. I mean I don't get why guys get so competitive during it. Isn't that the only class you have an A in anyway?"

Mickey flips her off and rolls his eyes. "Oh, shit..." he says as he watches Ian sip his Gatorade. "I forgot to bring us Gatorades today for boxing. I mean I could probably take some money from someone's locker or something and get one out of the vending machine for you if you want."

Ian smiles at the gesture and shakes his head. He had honestly forgotten that it was Mickey's turn and was surprised that Mickey was making such a big deal about it.

"You're in luck because I have a couple dollars in my backpack. I can buy two gatorades for us before practice. You like the orange ones, right?" Mickey nods.

He glances at Mandy before knocking his knuckles against the side of his nose. "Yeah, Whatever you wanna get me is fine, man. I'm not picky." Ian nods and goes back to eating his lunch.

Mandy didn't mind her brother sitting with them one bit. It was just how he and Ian were interacting that weirded her out. She had her suspicions before that Ian had a crush on Mickey but now she was seriously believing it.

Mickey was reaching across the table to swipe Mandy's cookies from her when someone called his name. "Yo, Mick!" He grabs the cookies quickly and turns around. Towards him, his friend, Braydon, was grinning at him and making his way over. "Sup, man. See you ditched us again."

"Yeah, can only stand you douche bags for so long," he says, taking a bite of the Oreos in the bag. Braydon chuckles and shakes his head.

"Hey, but I'm having a party tonight. You game?" He asks.

Mickey shrugs and leans back against the table. "Dunno, Maybe. Might have to help my dad on a run or some shit," he lies. Truth be told Mickey hadn't enjoyed Braydon's parties as much as he used to. But that was back when he thought he was straight and making out with girls was a chore he was doing daily.

Braydon rolls his eyes. "Oh, come on. You, Mandy and the redhead can all come. Hell, invite whoever you want. The more the merrier," he grins.

Mickey let's out a loud sigh and nods. "Fine, I'll be at your fucking party. What time is it?"

"Starts at nine but you can show up whenever. I'll see you guys then," he says before walking away.

Mickey sighs and turns back around in his seat. "You guys gonna come?"

Ian chews on the inside of his cheek. The last party he had gone to wasn't one he wanted to relive. But then again if Mickey was going, Ian wanted to tag along as well. "Yeah, I'll go. After boxing, I can shower and change and be at your guys' house around nine?"

Mandy grins. "And bring Lip with you."

Mickey rolls his eyes. "Jeez, Mandy. Keep it in your fucking pants," he teases.

"Oh yeah, you're one to talk. Mr. I lost my virginity at fourteen."

The bickering between the two siblings lasted for the remainder of lunch, but Ian didn't mind it one bit. He actually found it quite funny and the rest of lunch seem to fly by in a haze of laughter and sibling rivalry.

"Give me a fucking second!" Mickey yells. He hobbles out of his room as he struggles with pulling his jeans up at the same time he was walking. He gets to the door just as he gets his jeans up over his hips and opens it. Ian smiles at him.

"Hey," Ian says, smiling widely. Mickey gives him a curt nod as he finishes doing his jeans.

"Hey," he mumbles back, glancing past Ian to Lip. "You actually dragged him along?"

Lip snorts. "Not here for you, dick-breath. I'm here to go with your sister."

Mickey shrugs as he moves to the side. The two Gallagher brothers walk into the house and shut the door behind them. "Mandy's almost ready, but until she's done do whatever the fuck you want just don't touch anything."

"Doesn't that defeat the purpose of doing whatever you want?" Lip questions. Mickey shoots him a deadly glare that gets knocked off his face when Mandy hits him in the back of the head with her shoe.

"Knock it off you two," she says. She sits down and tugs her converse onto her feet.

After boxing, Mickey had made sure to clean up the best he could. He had showered and then thrown on his cheap cologne and some deodorant. He had also to steal Colin's hair gel and try it out on himself since he doubted his brother used it anyways. His black hair was slicked back off of his forehead and he had on faded blue jeans with his black zip-up hoodie and a striped shirt underneath.

"Alright I think I'm ready," Mandy says, standing up. "Let's go." She grabs Lip's hand and the two walk out ahead of the other two boys.

Mickey reaches into his pocket and fishes around for a cigarette. "I like your hair," Ian says quiet enough so only Mickey would hear.

The older boy raises an eyebrow as he places the cigarette between his lips. "Fuck off, Gallagher. Not like I did it for you."

Ian smiles a bit. "Never said you did. I still like it though," he says and leans in close, whispering into Mickey's ear. "Makes you even sexier." Mickeys eyes widen at Ian's boldness and he folds his arms over his chest. He bites his lip and gives Ian a second glance before continuing to walk.

They get to the party around ten and it's much like the last one. Loud music, underage drinking, and hormonal teenagers.

"Mickey!" Braydon greets as they walk inside. He comes over to his friend and drapes an arm across his shoulders, grinning widely. "You actually came!"

Mickey shrugs. "Came for the free beer," he smirks, shrugging his friends arm off of his shoulder.

Braydon laughs. "Oh you know you came for me. Everyone knows you have a crush on me," he jokes. Mickey glares at him and elbows him in the side.

"Faggot," he mumbles. "I'm gonna go get a drink." Braydon nods and with that, he turns and goes off to talk to someone else. Mickey turns and sees that Lip and Mandy had already disappeared somewhere but Ian was still standing awkwardly behind him. Mickey picks up two solo cups and hands one to Ian.

"Thanks," Ian says, taking a sip of his. Mickey nods and itches the side of his head.

For a while, he and Ian walked around and talked with the others there. Mickey was the one that was doing most of the talking while Ian just stood next to him. And it wasn't because Mickey was more sociable than Ian. He just felt it was his duty to talk to everyone and not raise any suspicions as to why he was suddenly hanging out with Ian so much. After a while, though Mickey got tired of it and wanted to leave. He considered drinking and drinking until he passed out or ended up going upstairs with some random girl. But this time that didn't interest him. Not like it had before

He tapped his finger against the side of his cup as he looked around. In front of him where groups of kids dancing. Girls with boys and some just dancing on their own. Mickey licks his lips and looks down into his cup. For once he wanted to be out there with the groups of dancing kids and have Ian with him. He wanted to grind against Ian the way the girls were doing with their boyfriends, but he knew he couldn't. He knew what he was feeling had to be hidden so no one but him or Ian would ever know.

Next thing he knew a hand was on his hip and when he looked up to see who it was attached to he immediately wanted to pull away. It was Sam. The same girl from the last party he had gone to. As if on cue Mickey felt redness creep up the back of his neck. "Hey," she smiles and leans in close. "Wanna dance?"

Mickey glances back at Ian who was looking at him with slight sadness behind his eyes. The boy turns back around and nods reluctantly. "Um... yeah. We can dance," he whispers. Samantha smiles and drags Mickey out to the center of the living room. He sets his cup down and turns his head. He looks back to where he had just been standing but doesn't see Ian anywhere.

"Listen you were right about, um... about what you said that one time," she whispers, leaning in close to Mickey. "But I've gotten better." She turns around and starts to dance. Her hips were pushed back and grinding against Mickey who felt mortified. For some reason he felt guilty and sick. He and Ian hadn't officially said they were a thing and he was glad for that because he didn't want that. He didn't know what he wanted but he knew for sure that this right here, dancing with some girl, wasn't what he wanted. It was the farthest thing from it.

Mickey clenches his jaw and lets out a shaky breath. His hand comes down and rests on Samantha's hip, turning her around. When they were face to face he leans in close enough that their lips were almost kissing. "I don't care if you have gotten better," he whispers. "You're not my type." Once the words leave his mouth he walks away, disappearing back into the crowd. Mickey grabbed another red solo cup up and began shoving people aside as he looked for the only person he wanted to hang out with at the moment. He walked out front where some kids were playing bags and saw Ian walking down the sidewalk.

He sets his cup on the porch and jogs after him. “Gallagher! Wait up, man!” Mickey catches up to him, panting softly. “Where the fuck are you going?”

Ian shoots him a glare. “I’m going home, Mick. I’m sick of this shit.”

Mickey frowns. “Sick of what?”

“Sick of you pretending like you’re not gay,” he whispers angrily. “I know you don’t like Samantha, so why the hell did you dance with her?”

“I didn’t.”

“Bullshit. I was right there next to you before she dragged you out to dance,” Ian scoffs, kicking a rock with his shoe.

Mickey shakes his head. He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks down at his shoes as they walk. “I mean... yeah I did dance with her. But I stopped it. She tried to get me to kiss her and probably go up to the bedroom with her but I... but I stopped it.”

Ian frowns. “You didn’t kiss her?” He whispers.

Mickey shakes his head. “No, fuckhead. Not that it’s any of your business because we aren’t dating but... I didn’t do anything with her.”

Though the words were meant to be harsh, Ian took them with a smile. Because he knew what this meant. It was a small step forward for the two of them.

Ian nods. “You wanna come back to my place for a bit? Doubt anyone’s home on a Friday night.”

Mickey smirks and nods. For once Mickey left a party sober and happy. It was a small change that had him feeling ten times better.

But he knew that wasn’t it that was making him feel better.

It was the fact that he was with Ian. Sure Mickey wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with the younger boy. But just being around him was enough to make Mickey feel better.


	14. Poisoned Youth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, there is some violence in this chapter.

Mickey laughs as he walks down the hall with Ian. "How the fuck did I not see that?"

Ian shrugs, grinning. "Guess you're just blind or something." Apparently, yesterday in between first and second hour there had been a huge fight where one kid had tried to strangle the other using the strings of his backpack. And Mickey was a little upset he hadn't been able to see it first hand.

"Yo, Milkovich!" Braydon calls as he jogs over to Mickey. He lets out a chuckle and slaps the shorter boy on the back. "So Samantha Cookings is going around telling people you couldn't get it up for her?" As he says this he laughs again and shakes his head.

For Mickey, the situation wasn't so funny. The second kids started to speculate that there was something he was hiding, he was done for. His head hammered in his chest and he felt his fingers behind to nervously tug at the end of his shirt. "Bullshit. The bitch is pissed off that I wanted to fuck another girl other than her at your party this weekend."

Braydon shrugs. "I dunno, man," he hums. "She seemed pretty serious about it when she told me."

"Well, she fucking wasn't. The skank doesn't know what's good for her and starts running her mouth about other people's business."

Braydon laughs at how aggravated his friend was and rolls his eyes. "Whatever, man. I'll talk to you later, faggot boy," he jokes before walking off.

Mickey bites down hard on his lip as he looks around the hallway. Suddenly he felt like all eyes were on him. Watching his every move. When most people were just minding their own business. Luckily for him, the word hadn't gotten around too far just yet.

Ian let's out a small laugh. "I can't believe she's saying that stuff about you."

Mickey didn't find it as funny. He slams Ian up against the lockers and glares at him. "This isn't funny, Ian. You get that if word gets around that I can't get it up for a hot chick like that, that people are gonna start talking?"

Ian nods slowly. He rubs the back of his neck as Mickey lets him go. "Jesus, Mick. I'm sorry. I bet this whole thing will blow over by the time first hour ends."

Mickey found himself nodding along though he wasn't as confident as Ian was about this whole thing. He knew he had started to become slightly reckless with his behavior if he wanted to keep it a secret and he figured this was the price he had to pay.

"Whatever," he mumbles. He swipes his thumb against his nose and glances down at his shoes before looking back up to meet Ian's eyes. "I'm gonna head to class or maybe ditch and just smoke in the bathroom."

Ian nods. "See you at lunch?" He asks hopefully  

Mickey gives him a shrug. "Dunno, Maybe," he says and with those words, he walks off in the opposite direction.

First hour seemed to crawl by and so did second hour and then third. Finally, it was lunch time and Mickey made his way to the cafeteria. This time he stopped before he even reached Ian and Mandy's table, deciding it was best to sit with his usual groups of friends. So he drops his bag on the floor and sits down next to Braydon and the others.

Asher, a dark-haired and equally dark-skinned boy grinned at him. "So I heard Mickey Milkovich may not be as hard and tough as we all originally thought?"

Mickey shoots the kid a glare. He never liked him much anyways. Always too cocky and arrogant for his liking. "Fuck off, Asher. Otherwise, your heads gonna end up in that fucking garbage can over there," he says, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder.

"But come on, Mickey. Is she actually lying or she telling the truth and you just don't wanna admit to it?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

Gots very short second Mickey considering coming clean. He figured it would be better to just admit now that he couldn't get it up for Samantha. Maybe then his friends would think it was just a fluke and not actually because he wasn't attracted to females at all. "You've obviously been smoking something if you really think she's telling the truth. C'mon... give me one good reason why I wouldn't be able to get it up for her?"

"Cause you're a queer," Braydon chimes in, culling his hands around his mouth to make it sound louder. Mickey shoots him a deadly glare. A glare that even made his friends shut up because they knew he was being serious. Braydon lets out an exaggerated sigh and bites into his sandwich. "We're just messing you but like always you gotta ruin the fun," he jokes. "But don't worry, I'll try to keep that bitch from running her mouth anymore."

Mickey nods. For once he was grateful that he had sat with Braydon and the others instead of Ian. Not because he liked them better, no. But because he knew that Braydon would actually do something to stop Samantha from saying things about him. Sure Mickey would normally handle it on his own but he didn't want to act like he cared as much about it as he actually did. Because in all honesty, the "lie" was beginning to eat him alive. The whole first half of the day he had been jittery with anxiety because the only thing on mickeys mind was, Terry. His dad would no doubt beat on him until he couldn't think straight if he even got a whiff that his son might be gay.

And as Mickey sat there and his friends slipped back into their usual conversation of parties and girls, Mickey couldn't even seem to pretend to be interested this time. Instead, his mind was bringing up terrifying what if sceneries that could possibly happen between him and his father.

________________________________

Mickey came home from boxing that night full of anger. He had lost again in the ring since he couldn't seem to get his thoughts in order. He had a split lip, a cut on his eyebrow and his hair was matted to his forehead with sweat. He dropped his bag down next to the door and looked over into the kitchen where he heard laughter. Terry was sitting at the kitchen table with Matthew. He was a skinny yet tall guy with stringy white and grey hair that hung in loose curls to his shoulders.

Terry looks over at his son as he sets his beer down on the table, but luckily he doesn't ask Mickey to join him like the time before. Mickey walks over to them anyways to grab a beer. He tugs open the fridge but as his elbow comes back, it connects with Terry's beer and knocks t backward. The contents of the container immediately run off the table and onto Terry's lap. Mickeys eyes go wide as he turns to face his dad.

"Dad I... I didn't mean to," he says, trying to keep his cool. Terry stands up with such force that his chair falls backward.

"What the fuck, Mickey!" He says. He reaches out to grab Mickey by the throat and slam him back against the wall "You spilled my fucking beer all over me."

"It was an accident," Mickey says, his voice starting to fill with anger. For once he wasn't scared of Terry. He felt rage and anger towards the man as he screamed in his face. He clenched his fists down at his side as he glared back at his father. "Get the fuck off of me."

Terry stares daggers at him. "What did you just say to me, boy? You use that tone with me again and I'll knock your teeth in."

Mickey felt the anger bubble up in his chest to the point where he couldn't hold it back anymore. He reaches his fist back and slams it into Terry's face. "Terry!" His friend yells as he hurries over to him. Terry shoved the scrawny man to the side as he stands up.

"I'm going to kill you!" He yells. He grabs Mickey by the throat and squeezes tightly. Mickey grabs at his hands to try and get away but his grip was too strong. He could hear a faint gasp from behind Terry where Mandy had emerged from her room. Mickey realizes it was no use to try to pull his hands away so he moved on to his next tactic. He kicks his father hard in the crotch and it sends the man crumpling to the ground.

"Fuck you!" Mickey screams. "I'm sick of this shit! I'm sick of you thinking you can constantly beat on me! Fuck you!" He sends another hard kick to Terry's side before he backs away, breathing heavily. He then walks over to the front door.

"Where are you going?" Mandy asks.

"Don't fucking worry about it," he says, slamming the door behind him. It was cold without his jacket on. Especially with the steady fall of rain that immediately started to soak his clothes and hair. Mickey walked down the dark street in an aimless attempt to get somewhere. Anywhere was better than home.

He rubbed his bruised knuckles as he walked down the sidewalk and crossed the street. He was planning on just walking and walking until he couldn't walk anymore but then something caught his eyes. A familiar redhead was behind the glass of the Kash and Grab. He had on his black apron and had changed into new clothes since boxing. Mickey walks toward the shop but freezes in place as he watches what transpires next. Kash walks out from a back room and smiles at Ian. He watches as the older man locks the shop door and tugs on Ian's apron so he'd follow him to the backroom.

Mickey wasn't stupid. He knew what was going to happen and it made his anger bubble right back up. "Fuck you, Ian Gallagher," he said to himself. "Stupid fucking faggot!" He picks up a small rock from the ground and hurls it at the door, leaving a crack in the glass. For once he felt like he finally had someone who didn't lie and cheat all the time. Someone who actually cared about things other than stealing and dealing. But apparently, he was wrong. Ian had lied in a different way than his siblings or his friends but it still made him feel like shit.

Mickey spent the next hour with his head leaning back against the building. He sat on the ground, in the pouring rain against the Kash and Grab. He thought his anger would start to go away but it hadn't yet. So when the bell to the store rang Mickey shot up to his feet. "Mickey?" Ian asks. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Ian was beyond surprised to see Mickey here and he was terrified that Mickey had seen more than Ian had wanted him to. He had broke things off with Kash a few days prior, but the man kept taunting him with free groceries and new clothes and Ian couldn’t seem to say no. It wasn’t that he had feelings toward Kash. He just wanted the items he was getting.

Mickey glares at him. "Move out of my fucking away, Gallagher," he says. He grabs Ian and forcefully moves him to the side as he walked into the shop. He saw Kash shrugging on his coat, on his way out. "Hey, towel head. You find it fun to fuck underage boys?"

Nash's eyes go wide and he starts to back up, away from Mickey but the teen was too quick. He grabs the man by the collar of his shirt and shoved him against the counter as he slams his fist into his stomach. He repeatedly slammed his fists into Kash before he was yanked backward and thrown to the ground. He glared up at Ian. "What's your problem!?" The redhead yells.

Mickey scoffs as he climbs to his feet. He gets close to Ian's face. "Fuck you, Gallagher," he whispers in a chilling voice before leaving. This time the rain was a relief on his bloody knuckles and helped to wash away some of the blood. He kept his head down as he walked back to his house. He knew if Terry was there he'd get his ass kicked, but by now Mickey had lost all of his previous anger.

The door creaked open and his shoes squished on the ground as he stepped into the house. The living room and kitchen were empty which Mickey took as a sign of Terry fucking off to somewhere or more specifically, a bar. He walks throw the living room, leaving wet marks from his shoes as he walked into his bedroom. He couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips when he saw Mandy in the bathroom. "Get the hell out," he says.

"Mickey, where the hell did you go?" She asks. Mickey just shakes his head as he tugs his soaking wet shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground.

"None of your business," he grumbles, flopping down onto his bed.

"Mick, come on where did -"

"Leave me the fuck alone Mandy!" He yells. His sister stays silent for a long moment.

"You're a douchebag," she grumbles before leaving his room and slamming the door shut behind her.

Mickey runs his hands over his face and closes his eyes, glad to finally be alone.


	15. Bullets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is shorter than the others but I didn’t feel like anything needed to be added it to.

Mickey wakes to the sound of light tapping on his bedroom door. He hasn't slept much that night and it didn't help that he slept in his soggy pants and socks from the night before because he woke up shivering in his bed.

"What?" He groans.

He rolls over in his bed in time to see Mandy walking in. She had a soft but cautious smile on her lips as she approached her brother. "It's late, Mickey. It's almost one in the afternoon."

"And why the hell should I give a shit?" He mumbles, palming his eyes.

"You should care because it's late. Now get your lazy ass up and do something today," she says. She knew something was going on with Mickey, she just didn't know what. But Mandy wanted to find out. She felt bad for Mickey because he was the one who was always taking the blows from Terry and protecting them. Even though their brothers were older, Mickey took over the role of protector in the house.

"Alright... just get the fuck out," he mumbles against the blankets. Mandy let's out a heavy sigh and reluctantly leaves the room.

Once gone, Mickey gets out of bed. He peels off his frigid clothes and tosses them to the ground. He replaces them with a pair of baggy jeans. A long sleeve t-shirt and a dark flannel to go on top. Then before leaving his room, he heads over to his dresser. He opens up the top drawer and pulls out a gun and a case of bullets. He tucks the gun into the waste of his jeans and the bullets into his pockets.

"I'm heading out," Mickey says as he walks out to the fridge.

"Where are you going?" Mandy asks. She was at the counter, making herself a sandwich.

"Nowhere," he mumbles. He pulls out the half-empty case of beer and closes the fridge. Mickey looks away when he sees Mandy's worried look. "Don't worry. I'll replace dads beer on my way home."

Mandy opened her mouth as if she wanted to speak but decides it's best to say nothing and settles on just nodding. Mickey tugs his boots on and he's out the door.

It was warmer out than it had been in a while. The rest of the snow was now completely washed away by the rain the night before. Mickey walked briskly with his head down until he reached where he wanted to go.

He climbed up the dirtied steps to the abandoned building. Once at the top floors, he sets the case of beer down.

He was desperate to forget. To spend the day forgetting about all of his bullshit feelings and the emotions that seemed to be chocking him.

________________________________

The sound of bullets hitting cans seized when Mickey heard the echo of footsteps coming up the steps. He was standing a fair distance back away from the opening in the wall where he had lined up several empty cans. The pack of beers was almost completely gone with only a beer and a half to go. But still, the buzz wasn't enough. Mickey wanted more.

The footsteps got closer and closer until a familiar redhead appeared in the opening. He had on his army green hoodie, dark jeans and sneakers. His hair was a mess and Mickey could easily see the lack of sleep that was evident in his eyes.

Mickey sits down against the wall. He picks up his opened beer and takes a long sip from it. "How'd ya find me?" He mumbles.

Ian stays in his spot in the doorway as if he was afraid of Mickey. He knew he had hurt him, even if he didn't and wouldn't admit it. And Ian knew Mickey had a rage like no other when he was ticked off and upset. "Mandy said you might be here. She's worried about you though. Said you wouldn't tell her where you went."

"Yeah, well Mandy can fuck off. She's not my mom." Mickey crushes the now empty can in his hand and throws it across the room so it skittered on the concrete floor.

Ian nods a bit and looks down at his shoes. "I'm sorry."

Mickey doesn't look at him. He doesn't even move or register that he heard Ian. His stare remains on the opening in the wall, watching the naked trees sway in the breeze.

"Mick I-"

"You don't have to apologize," Mickey snaps, looking over at him. "I'm not your fucking boyfriend. We aren't fucking dating. You don't have to say anything about last night to me."

The words he said didn't feel right. Not this time. Before, they would have flown between his lips without an inch of regret. But now. Now things were different. Mickey could no longer deny he felt something for the southside boy. He knew he was infatuated with him.

Mickey could see the hurt behind Ian's eyes and he immediately regretted the words. But he wasn't going to take them back. They were already out there, too late to tell Ian what he truly felt. Which was pain.

Ian nods and shoves his hands in his pockets. "Listen... I'm sorry, Okay? I know you don't wanna hear it but here it is anyways. I'm sorry about what I did with Kash. I don't like him I'm just using him for groceries, but I know that's not an excuse. I shouldn't have... it was wrong what I did and I'm done. I like you, Mickey." Ian walked closer to Mickey as he spoke. Soon he was a foot away and Mickey had stood up.

Ian couldn't read the expression on the boy's face. He wasn't sure if it was relief, confusion or anger. Or maybe a mixture of all three. But before he knew a heavy fist was coming down and smacking him hard in the face.

Ian stumbles backward and grabs his now bleeding nose. "What the hell, Mickey!" He yells.

Mickey shakes his fist out and glares at Ian. "Don't you ever fucking say that to me again. Cause guess what, Gallagher? You don't fucking like me. And even if you did it doesn't matter cause I don't feel the same. You're just... all you are is a quick fuck. Something to get my dick hard for but it's done. Whatever you think we are, we aren't."

Mickey didn't notice it at first, but now he felt his eyes prickle with tears. He wiped at them angrily and turned away from Ian, his chest heaving with adrenaline. He heard Ian let out a humorless laugh from behind him.

"Okay... Sorry for thinking this was anything more than a quick fuck for you. But tell me this, if it was just a quick fuck how come you came to me after your dad beat the shit out of you, huh? Why didn't you just stay home like you normally do?"

Mickey didn't reply. He kept his back turned.

"That's what I thought. You're just a fucking pussy. Too afraid to face your father or to admit that you like me. You like a boy, Mickey and there's no denying that."

The words felt like bullets to Mickey's chest. Because he knew Ian was right. He felt like a pussy because he couldn't admit what he was truly feeling deep down and he was afraid he never would.

Mickey turned to speak, but by then Ian had left.

Mickey knew he messed up. He knew all of this was his fault. And he was sick of messing up.

Mickey wiped his eyes angrily as tears started to form. He kicked the empty box of beers across the floor and tucked his gun into the waistband of his jeans. He walked towards the stairs and walked down the first flight. He then suddenly stops.

His looks straight ahead and sees Ian still there. He was on the second story with his back towards Mickey, but he could tell by the way his shoulders shook he was crying. The boy had his head bowed down, his hair blowing in the wind.

Mickey walks up behind him and Ian turns quickly, startled by the noise. His eyes were watery and his cheeks were stained with tears. Mickey almost couldn't bear the site of it, knowing that he was the cause behind his pain. "Mick, just go a-"

Before Ian could finish his sentence, Mickey closed the distance between them, his lips crashing against Ian's. The kiss was harsh at first and Ian didn't kiss back immediately, too surprised to do anything. But soon he kisses back. His eyes slip shut and his hand comes up to cup the side of Mickey's face. Mickey backs them up so that Ian's back was against the wall. Mickey let's out a soft grunt as Ian slips his tongue in between Mickey’s lips.

The older boy lets the kiss continue for a few more moments before pulling away, panting softly. When Mickey opens his eyes he sees Ian grinning at him. “The fuck are you grinning about?” Mickey mumbles, swiping his thumb across his lips.

Ian grins and shrugs. “Nothing.” He leans back in and kisses Mickey deeply, but this kiss only lasts a few moments. “Just can’t believe you kissed me.”

Mickey rolls his eyes. “Don’t make a big deal outta it,” he says, trying to hide his grin.

Ian smiles a bit to himself and watches as Mickey starts down the stairs before following him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are still enjoying this fic as much as I am. Also, I love knowing what you guys want to see so please comment something you’d like to see happen later in the fic


	16. Two Princes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for such a delay in updates. I don’t really have an excuse but anywhore, enjoy this chapter :)

Mickey shakes his head. "No... no come on, just give me the damn thing," he mutters, yanking the pencil from Ian's hand and then the book. "I told you that when you use e it has to have an exponent. You can't but it in the fucking calculator without one. And your logs... jeez Ian. You really don't get this lesson do you?"

 

Ian laughs helplessly. "I guess not," he says, watching as Mickey does his math. Ian didn't understand how the boy was so good at math, yet he was failing all of his courses... again.

 

"Here," he mumbles, handing the book back over. Mickey had done the problem for Ian, his scribbled handwriting all over the paper. Ian smiles over at him.

 

"Thanks."

 

Mickey smiles a bit but quickly wipes it off with the back of his hand. "Yeah, Whatever," he says, folding his arms over his chest.

 

Soon the bus stops in front of the gym and everyone gets off, Mickey and Ian being the last two. Mickey follows behind Ian as they walk into the locker room and they both drop their bags onto the bench.

 

"Hey, so I was thinking maybe you could come over and hang out after," Ian mumbles so that only Mickey could hear. He glances overs at the younger boy as he tugs his shirt over his head. His pale skin was littered in light bruises from boxing, but mostly from Terry. Most of them were fading now since Terry hadn't been home as often, but he did have a large purple one on the left side of his rib cage.

 

Mickey gives him a small grin and nods. "Yeah, sure," he says as he puts on his tank top. He undoes his jeans and kicks them off, trading them for his grey sweat pants instead. "Think we could pick up some food too? I'm fucking starving and I've been dying for a burger and some fries."

 

Ian smiles widely and nods. "Yeah, of course we can. I have my wallet with me so we could pick up McDonald's." He quickly changes and reaches into his bag. Today he had brought one blue Gatorade and one red one. "Which one?"

 

Mickey glances over and grabs the blue one from his hands. "Thanks," he says, setting the drink down next to his bag. "Ready to go?" Ian nods and then follows Mickey out of the locker room and into the gym.  Mickey walks over to their usual spot and wraps his hands up in tale. Ian sighs and looks at him.

 

"Can't you wear gloves just this one time?" He asks which earns him a dirty look. Over the past few months of boxing, Mickey's knuckles had become torn up. They were red and bruised, but Mickey didn't mind it one bit. He liked the sting against his knuckles that came every time he hit the bag.

 

"Nope," he says, grinning over at Ian. "Now stop bitching and hold the bag for me." Ian sighs but knows better than to protest. He holds the punching bag and peeks his head around the corner.

 

"Give it your best shot," he grins. Mickey rolls his eyes as he tries to suppress a smile. He then holds his fists up and hits the bag hard one time. He then takes in a deep breath and hits it again and again, going until his arms feel weak and he's dripping with sweat.

 

"What's your name, kid?"

 

Mickey turns around to see a trainer standing behind him. He was a taller man with dark skin and short hair. "Mickey."

 

He nods, the small smile on his face. "You've got a hard hit. Why don't you get in the ring with someone? I wanna see what you got."

 

Mickey nods, smirking. He loved showing off how hard he could punch. It was one thing he did best.

 

"I'll go in there with you," Ian says, shrugging. Mickey raises an eyebrow and looks at him.

 

"No way, Gallagher," he says. He had already hit Ian too many times for his liking and he didn't want to do it again.

 

"What? Afraid you'll lose?" He smirks. Mickey rolls his eyes.

 

"Alright Fine. Then get your ass in there."

They both pull on a pair of red boxing gloves and step into the ring. "I'll take it easy on you," Mickey jokes. Ian smirks.

 

"You won't have to," he says.

 

Mickey holds his fist up, close to his face and smirks over the top of them at Ian who was doing the same. Ian was the first to make a move. He pitched forward and swung his fist out at Mickey who ducked it with ease. "Too obviously, Gallagher. I saw that coming from a mile away."

 

Ian rolls his eyes. "You're too cocky," he mumbles. He goes in for another hit with his other fist and misses again. Mickey ducks this one but comes up and swings his own fist forward. It collided heavily against Ian's jaw and he stumbles back a bit.

 

"Too cocky, huh?" He teases.

 

Ian knew Mickey was just screwing around with him. That Mickey seemed to know more about fighting and if he wanted to, he could probably knock him out right now. But that didn't mean Ian was going to back down or give up. He was going to fight back.

 

Ian lurches forward towards Mickey and swings at him. The older boy fucks the first fist, but Ian comes right back with another punch and this time, it hits Mickey right in the nose.

 

The blow was unexpected and Mickey goes stumbling backward, which Ian uses towards his advantage. He goes at him again and nails another hard punch to his side. Ian backs off for a moment. He didn't want to seriously hurt Mickey, just wanted to prove he could box too. But Ian could see the rage and adrenaline that filled Mickey's eyes with every punch he took. And Ian knew Mickey was no longer going to screw around with him.

 

Mickey pushes himself off of the ropes and back towards Ian. He doesn't skip a beat before he descends in a fury of fists. He lands multiple hits to Ian before he falls onto his back. Both of the boys were bleeding, sweaty and tired. Unlike most fights, Mickey backs off once Ian's knocked on his back. He pants heavily as he tucks his glove off and grabs Ian's elbow to pull him to his feet. "You good?" He asks.

 

Ian smiles. "Yeah, I'm good," he says back.

 

Mickey nods and wipes his arm across his forehead. "I'm gonna head to the locker room. Clean up a bit."

 

Ian nods. The two boys walk out of the ring and into the locker room. They were the only two in there since everyone else was still boxing or working out. "Gotta hand it to you, you hit hard." Mickey smirks. He wipes the blood off of the corner of his mouth before tugging his shirt over his head. "I'm just gonna take a shower now and get changed. Don't have much time left now anyway."

 

Ian nods and tugs his own shirt over his head. "You know... you do look really hot right now," Ian says, following Mickey towards the showers. He could hear Mickey chuckle and saw his shoulders shake in front of him though he didn't turn around.

 

Ian licks his lips as they reach the showers. He grabs Mickey's wrist before he can turn on the water and turns him around. The older boy raises an eyebrow and stares at him.

 

"The hell are you doin?" He asks.

 

Ian smiles and leans in, pressing his lips against Ian's. Mickey let's out a small grunt and cups the side of Ian's face. "Stall," he mumbles. Ian stares at him, confused for a moment, before understanding. He presses his lips back to Mickey's and pushes them into the stall. Ian turns and locks the door. He had a trail of blood running down his nose but Mickey didn't seem to mind. He didn't waste another moment before pressing Ian up against the wall and kissing him deeply.

 

Ian moaned into the kiss, letting his eyes slip shut. He let Mickey control the kiss for s few good moments, before switching roles. He grabs onto Mickey's hips and presses him against the other end of the stall. Mickey smiles against his lips and pulls away, pressing his forehead against the others. "Take off your shorts," Mickey pants out. Ian nods quickly, not waiting a moment.

 

He tugs his shorts off and slides them to the side on the floor. Ian’s hands move nimbly as he tugs off Mickey’s sweats and boxers. He leans in and his lips start to roam over Mickey’s neck. The older boy moans out loudly as Ian sucks a hickey onto him. He could feel Ian smile against his skin and pull away. “We have to be quiet, Mick. Otherwise sometimes going to hear us,” he whispers. He grabs onto Mickey’s hips and turns him around so that his back was towards him. “You wanna do this here?”

 

Mickey bites down on his lip and nods. “Yeah, yeah just make it quick before everyone comes back in.”Ian nods, though Mickey couldn’t see him. He drops his boxers to his ankles before spitting on his hand. “Ew, you’re spitting on your fucking hand for lube?” Mickey whines.

 

“It’s either that or nothing at all,” Ian says.

 

Mickey sighs. “Fine, but it’s still fucking disgusting.” Ian laughs quietly as he jerks himself a few times until he becomes fully hard. He holds onto Mickey’s shoulder as he slowly slides himself in.

 

The raven-haired boy closes his eyes and rests his forehead against the tiled wall. “Oh, fuck,” he pants out quietly. Ian knew that they didn’t have the ideal lube and Mickey would need a few extra moments to get adjusted. So to distract him from the pain, Ian started to pepper his skin with kisses. He places a few over his back and up onto his shoulders and neck, leaving a few hickeys behind as he goes.

 

“You ready?” He asks.

 

Though Mickey would never admit it, he loved how Ian took care of him like this. He always seemed to make sure he was okay and comfortable and at the same time he was embarrassed by it, he also craved it. He craved Ian’s touch and his kind words. He just craved everything about the younger boy.

 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Mickey mumbles. Ian runs his hands down Mickey’s back before holding onto his hips and slowly starting to thrust into him. He makes sure to go slower than usual at first, not wanting to hurt Mickey.

 

The older boy bites down on his lip as he lets out a few soft grunts. He had his hands up against the wall but moves one of them away. He slides his left hand down and rests it on top of Ian’s on his hip. Mickey laces their fingers together and squeezes his hand softly.

 

Ian smiles at the small action as he picks up his pace. His hips snap forward softly, but quicker than before. He brings their joined hands up and rests them against the wall. Mickey turns his head to the side. “C’mere,” he whispers. Ian smiles and leans in. He closes his eyes and kisses him deeply on the lips. Mickey opens his mouth and Ian slides his tongue in. The darker haired boy moans into his mouth and lets his eyes slip shut as well.

 

It was the second time they had ever kissed before and somehow the kiss felt more intimate than the sex. Mickey felt safe and wanted when he kissed Ian. He had never felt anything such as that before and he could have sworn he was getting high off of the feeling.

 

Ian pulls away from the kiss after a bit and presses his forehead into Mickey’s back. He thrusts harder into him as he feels the pleasure build up in his stomach. He moans out quietly, biting his lip to stifle it as he reaches his orgasm. Ian could hear Mickey moan in front of him and knew he had done the same.

 

They stay like that for a few moments. Both were sweaty, panting, and tired. Neither of them wanted to move from that bathroom stall.They both tug their boxers back up and Ian was just about to work on his works when he was cut off. Mickey leans back in and pulled him into a deep kiss. Ian kisses him back after a moment, cupping the sides of his face. They both stayed like that until the kiss ended and Mickey leaned his forehead against Ian’s.

 

“Can I come over tonight?” Mickey mumbles. Ian smiles tiredly and nods.

 

“Yeah, of course you can.”


	17. Opportunities

Mickey wiped the sweat off of his forehead onto his arm. It was around five o'clock now and boxing had just ended for the day. Ian and Mickey both had sweated enough to fill both of their Gatorade bottles for the next week. Even with the painful tiring workout that they had today, Mickey would rather work out for another three hours than go home.

 

"Milkovich, can you come here for a moment." Mickey glances up from his spot on the bench. It was the same trainer as the day before. Mickey was surprised the man even remembered him.

 

He nods and stands up, walking over to him. "Yeah, what's up?"

 

"I was really impressed with your fighting yesterday. You're a tough kid with a strong punch. Where'd you learn how to fight?" He asks.

 

Mickey shrugs. "The streets I guess. Gotta do what you gotta do to survive."

 

The man nods. "You're southside, huh?" Mickey nods. "Well, I've got some connections to some local colleges around Chicago and Illinois. I'd love to see you behind a football helmet or on a wrestling mat. I think you can do some serious damage. If you're ever interested let me know. I'm here often. My name's Coach Meyers."

 

Mickey chuckles a bit and nods. "Yeah, right. I may be tough but my grades are shit. Thanks for the offer though," he mutters before walking off. He pushes the doors to the gym open and leans against the bricks. He closes his eyes and leans his head back. Mickey was tired of living off of scraps of food and awaiting Terry's next besting. He wanted a ticket out of the southside on the next train out. And college was that ticket. But Mickey knew in his heart he didn't belong there. He belonged on the southside and was nothing more than southside trash. He'd either die on the streets fighting or locked behind bars before he turned twenty-one. College just seemed like a foreign place that he would never belong too.

 

"Hey." Mickey snaps his head over and sees Ian standing next to him. By now everyone was making their way onto the bus that would take them back to the school. "You forgot your bag inside," Ian says, handing his bag over.

 

"Thanks," Mickey mumbles. He slings it over his shoulder before climbing the steps to the bus, Ian following.

 

"So I saw that trainer talking to you. What did he want?" Ian asks. They take their usual seat in the back, Mickey against the window like always.

 

He shrugs. "Nothing."

 

Ian frowns. "I doubt that. I remember that guy wanted to see you fight yesterday did he like what he saw?" He grins.

 

"Guess so. Said he had connections to colleges around here and shit, but it doesn't mean anything. Not like I could go anyways."

 

"What? Why not?" Ian asks, wide-eyed. "Mickey I've seen what you can do with math. So that means you've gotta be pretty decent at science too and my guess is that you could be good at English if you tried. Mick if you got your grades up, you could get a scholarship or something. We could even go to the same college together."

 

Mickey scoffs and looks over at him. "You're outta your damn mind if you think I even have a chance of getting into a college. I've already got a record, my grades are shit and I wouldn't have the money to get in."

 

"Mickey college is a big deal. If you really try you could-"

 

"Drop it, Ian," Mickey says, shooting him a glare.

 

Ian sighs and nods. "Fine," he mumbles. "But you're wasting a good opportunity. You can get outta here you know? You deserve to get out of the southside."

 

The walk back to Mickey's was quiet. Ian walked next to Mickey while the older boy smoked a cigarette in silence. "Don't think anyone's home right now," Mickey mumbles as he pushes the door open. As he thought, the house was silent. He figured his siblings were at friends' houses and Terry at the bar. "Wanna head to my room?" Mickey grins.

 

Ian nods. "Yeah, I actually need help with some homework if you don't mind?"

 

Mickey groans. "You're such a fucking buzzkill, man," he mumbles. He walks to his room and tosses his backpack to the ground while Ian sets his down on Mickey's bed. He sits down next to it and pulls out his chemistry binder.

 

"Are you good at chem?" Ian asks, patting the spot next to him. Mickey shrugs and takes a seat next to him. He pulls his hoodie off and kicks his shoes to the ground.

 

"Dunno. I can try to help," he says. He leans close to Ian and looks down at the equations on the paper. Math was like a second language for Mickey. He thought it was the easiest thing in the world. All you needed was an equation and you couldn't screw up. And chemistry was kind of the same way. "Okay, you've gotta use the Lewis dot structure thingy. You know how to do that?"

 

Ian nods. "Yeah, with the valence electrons, right?" Mickey nods. "And I just put the dots around them and match it up? Can you help with that part?"

 

Mickey nods and points down at the equation, slowly explaining it. "See, I told you you're smart. You could get into college, Mickey, if you tried harder."

 

Mickey sighs and scrubs his face with his hands. "Ian, I said drop it. I don't wanna talk about college."

 

"But Mickey this is your ticket out. You can-"

 

He was cut off when Mickey's lips were pressed against his own. He leans in and cups the side of his freckled cheeks. Ian's eyes slip shut and he drops the pencil so that he could move his hands over onto Mickey's body. One trails up under his shirt and against his chest while the other comes up to rest on his neck.

 

Ever since they had started kissing, Ian never wanted to stop. The way Mickey's rough, red lips felt against his own was enough to make Ian forget his own name. He felt like he was completely in love with the other boy and he wished the kiss would never end, but of course it had to some time.

 

This time the kiss ended when the door creaked open. Mickey moved back so quickly that his head smacked against the wall while Ian stared wide-eyed at the door. Mandy stood at the other end, a confused look on her face. "Uh, Hey Ian didn't know you were over... what're you guys doing?"

 

"Homework," Mickey says quickly. "Ian needed help with math so I helped him."

 

Mandy stared at him for a moment and it made Mickey feel uneasy. Like she was seeing right through him and into his secrets. "Okay well... I'll be in the living room if you need anything," she mumbles, shutting the door behind her.

 

Mickey lets out a shaky sigh and rubs the back of his neck. "Didn't think she'd be home so soon," he mumbles quietly.

 

"Mick, I don't think she even saw anything," Ian whispers.

 

Mickey rolls his eyes. "How could she miss it, Ian? I'm fucked. She's gonna tell my fucking dad and I'm going to get my ass beat when he gets home." Mickey stands up and starts to pace the room, tugging on the back of his hair gently.

 

"No she won't," Ian says quickly, standing up. "She knew I was gay already and didn't tell anyone. She won't tell anyone about you either."

 

"You don't know that. It's... it's different with me. I live with her. I'm her family. She's gonna snitch on me to Terry."

 

Ian sighs and grabs Mickey's hand to stop him from pacing. "Just calm down, okay? It's gonna be okay." Mickey stops pacing and stares down at Ian's hand on his and then back up at him. "Like I said, I doubt she saw anything."

 

Mickey gently pulls his hand away and nods. "Yeah... yeah you're probably right," he says, rubbing he back of his neck though. "You should probably get going though. Dad's gonna be home soon."

 

Ian sighs and nods. He hated when Mickey tried to push him away. He wanted to help the other, but he never seemed willing to accept that help. And it broke Ian's heart to see him this way and not be able to help. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow at school, right?" Mickey nods. "See you later, Mick."

 

"See ya," Mickey mumbles and Ian leaves. He lets out a heavy sigh and flops back down on his bed. He knew it was stupid of him to kiss Ian in his own house. Terry could have easily come in and seen the both of them. The thought terrified Mickey to no end, but he tried to push it out of his mind.

 

He got comfortable on his mattress before closing his eyes. He wanted to sleep and not worry about what Mandy had seen anymore. And soon enough, he did fall asleep.

 

Mickey woke next to someone shaking him violently. "What the fuck?" He groans, cracking his eyes open.

 

"Dude... Mickey get up, man. We need groceries," Iggy says. "I'm fucking starving."

 

"And why the fuck is that my problem? If you want food go get it," he mutters, sitting up.

 

"But aren't you and Mandy buddies with that ginger at the Kash and Grab? You guys can get a bunch of shit there for free and it's easier than stealing."

 

"Then make Mandy go," Mickey complains.

 

"She said she'd only go if you went with," Iggy says.

 

Mickey groans. "Alright... I'll go," he mutters. He stands up and tugs on his jacket. Mickey pulls on his shoes before stepping out into the living room. "Where's Mandy at?"

 

"Out front. She's waitin' on you," Colin says from the couch. Mickey nods and heads out front.

 

She smiles when she sees him. "Hey."

 

Mickey smiles tiredly. "Hey," he mumbles.

 

The two siblings start to walk down the street, heading in the direction of the Kash and Grab. The both of them were silent for the first block. Mandy was close to Mickey's side as they walked against the side. Eventually, Mandy looks up and looks over at her brother.

 

"Do you like Ian?" She asks suddenly.

 

The question catches Mickey off guard and he quickly looks away. "Yeah... he's a cool friend."

 

Mandy sighs. She reaches her gloves hand out of her pocket and grabs Mickey's hand. "Mick I.... you know what I mean. I saw you and Ian today in your room. I saw you kissing and his hand under your shirt," she says quietly. "I'm not going to tell dad... I don't give a shit if you're gay I just... I just wanna know the truth."

 

Mickey remained silent for a few moments. He was extremely upset with himself for not hiding it better and he was nervous that Mandy was going to tell on Terry. But she knew the truth now and Mickey had to trust that she wasn't going to speak a word of it to Terry. But still it was strange, having someone know about his darkest secret. It was something he had knew about or at least questioned for a few years now. It was weird having Mandy know.

 

"I'm gay," he says quietly. He gently tugs his hand away from his sister's and tucks it back into his coat pocket.

 

Mandy smiles softly and leans in to kiss her brother's cheek, causing him to cringe and wipe it away. "I'm not gonna tell anyone, Mickey. You could have told me a lot sooner you know?"

 

Mickey shrugs. He felt like he was burning up despite the fact that it was cold outside. "I just...I don't want dad finding out. If he does he's going to kill me, Mandy. I mean I seriously think he'd pistol whip me and then bury me ten feet under."

 

"That's not going to happen. We just have to be careful, okay?"

 

Mickey nods a bit. "Okay."

 

Mandy smiles. "Good, now tell me about you and Ian."


	18. The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve finally found my muse and inspiration to write fanfics again so thank god lmfao. But anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter :)

Mickey kicked his feet up on top of the pencil stained desk. It was three pm, a half an hour after school had gotten out, but Mickey had gotten stuck in the building after earning himself yet another detention. I'm his opinion, it wasn't his fault that he had hit the other kid. He was annoying and wouldn't stop sniffling while they were taking a test. In his defense, he was sure everyone wanted to punch the kid. He was just the only one with the guts to do so.

 

Other than Mickey there were three other boys in detention and one girl. The three boys sat off in the corner together while Mickey and the girl were separated from them. Up in front though was the only thing that was keeping Mickey from just running out of there, Ian. The teacher running detention today just so happened to also be Ian's Algebra teacher.

 

Mickey closed his eyes and tipped his head back. He let out a small sigh as he folds his arms over his chest. He still had another hour and a half left of detention and he was already bored out of his mind. Mickey wanted the torturous next few hours to pass quickly so he could spend time with Ian afterward. Since his dad was home and he wasn't a huge fan of all of the Gallagher's, Mickey wanted to grab a few beers, a pack of cigarettes and head out to the baseball fields to hang out.

 

Mickey's eyes snap open when he heard Ian's voice. "Stop it," the boy whispers. He looked around and notices the teacher missing from the room. He frowns a bit and glances over to the ground of boys that seemed to be pestering Ian.

 

The one boy laughed and flicked Ian on the back of the neck. "And what're you gonna do about it, Freckles?" The kid mumbled, smirking.

 

Mickey immediately stood up from his seat. "Stop fucking with him," he said angrily, glaring at the boy. The boy raises an eyebrow and stands up. He was a whole head taller than Mickey. He had dark blond hair that hung in loose curls just above his shoulders and his dark brown eyes peered into Mickey's.

 

"Are you actually gonna try to stop me or just boss me around like some bitch?" He said, stepping closer to Mickey. Ian, then rises as well, eyes full of worry.

 

"Mick, just calm down. It's okay I've got it," he said.

 

Mickey scoffs and rolls his eyes. "You weren't gonna do shit, Gallagher and this asshole needs to learn a lesson," he said, shoving the kid hard in the chest.

 

The boy stumped back before landing against a desk. Full of anger, he pushed himself back up and charged at Mickey. He slams him up against the wall and throws a punch to his stomach.

 

Mickey grunts and hunches over for just a moment before fixing his posture. He shoves back against the bigger boy and slams his fist into his face. "Mickey!" Ian yells. Mickey ignores Ian and forces a jaw-breaking hit into his jaw. "Mickey stop it!" Ian yells again and this time he gets in between the middle of the two. He shoves Mickey hard in the chest. "Mick, just stop it."

 

The older boy glares at Ian for a moment before nodding reluctantly. "Alright... fucking fine," he mutters. Mickey shoves past the older boy and sits back down in his seat just as the teacher comes back in.

 

"Is there a problem in here? I heard yelling?" He asks, folding his arms over his chest.

 

Ian nods quickly. "Yes, sir. Everything's fine," he says, getting back into his own seat.

 

He nods. "Good. Now no talking for the rest of the time. If there's a problem, I'll be up front helping Ian."

 

The rest of detention went by rather smoothly until the students were finally released. Ian had finished up his work an hour earlier but had pretended to need more help just so he could wait on Mickey. "Hey, you doin' anything now?" Ian asks, following Mickey out of the school

 

He chuckles. "Do I ever have anything to do? What if we got a pack of beers and headed out to the baseball fields?" Mickey asks.

 

Ian grins and nods. "Yeah, we can head over to the Kash and Grab and get some."

 

The two boys walk side by side down the sidewalk. It was early spring so the snow was finally melted and made the grass outside turn into a soggy, muddy mess. The sky was slightly clouded and the trees blew in the wind.

 

Ian leads Ian to the Kash and Grab and pulls the door open, the little bell dinging about as they both walk through. Kash looks up from behind the counter and immediately smiles when he sees Ian. "Hey, Ian," he says, standing up. Kash walks out from behind the counter and smooths his shirt down.

 

Ian forces a small smile. "Uh, Hey, Kash. Mickey and I were just gonna grab some things from the store."

 

Kash's eyes switch over to look at Mickey who raises an eyebrow at the older man. "There a problem with that?" He mumbles, folding his arms over his chest.

 

Kash shakes his head. "No I- I'll be behind the counter when you guys find everything," he mumbles.

 

"Don't need you anyways, towel head. Not like I'm planning on paying for this shit," he snorts, grabbing one of the small plastic baskets.

 

Ian hits Mickey in the side. "Mick, it's fine. We're paying for this. I've got cash for it anyway."

 

Mickey rolls his eyes. "Whatever, you pussy," he teases.

 

Ian laughs softly. "Sorry that I rather not end up in juvie. And I know you rather not end up there either."

 

Mickey shrugs. "Then you obviously don't know me. Now, barbecue or cheddar?" Mickey asks, holding up two bags of chips.

 

Ian smiles. "Definitely barbecue."

 

Mickey nods and sets the chips into the basket. He also ends up grabbing a case of beer, beef jerky and a can of Pringles. "Anything else you wanna get?"

 

Ian shakes his head. "No, I think that's good," he says, pulling cash out of his pocket.

 

"Hey, come on let's just take this shit and go," Mickey encourages.

 

"No, way. This is where I work, Mickey. I'm not stealing from my place of work," he sighs. Ian grabs the basket from Mickey's hands and against his will, walks it up to the counter.

 

Kash looks at him from over the counter. "You don't have to pay for this. I can handle it," he says to the younger boy.

 

"Oh, uh, no it's fine, Kash. I want to pay this time." Before, Ian has no problem with Kash buying him things and giving him free food. But now he was with Mickey and Ian knew this was Kash's way of trying to get him back.

 

Kash glances over at Mickey as he approaches the counter. "We got a problem here?" Mickey asks, folding his arms over his chest.

 

Kash frowns a bit and looks between the two before shaking his head. "No, no problem at all," he says, scanning the items.

 

Mickey smirks. "Good. And while you're at it, why don't you toss in a pack or two of smokes for us?"

 

Kash reaches behind him and adds a pack of cigarettes to the mix of junk food before producing the price. Ian grabs his money from his pocket and hands it over.

 

"Here you go," Kash says, handing the bags over. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

 

Ian forces a small smile and nods. "Yeah, see you around, Kash," he says. He grabs the bag while Mickey grabs the case of beer and the two of them walk out.

“I can’t believe you actually used to fuck with that guy,” Mickey mumbles, glancing over at Ian.

 

He shrugs. “Yeah... I honestly can’t believe I was ever in a relationship with him either.”

 

"That's not a fucking relationship. Whatever the fuck you two had was definitely not a relationship," Mickey says.

 

Ian shrugs. "I know that now. I know what a real relationship is now," he mumbles.

 

The two boys reach the fence to the dugout. Mickey sets the beer on the other side before hoping it, Ian following behind. "Okay, Fine. Then what is a real relationship?" He asks, carding the beer to the dugout.

 

"What we have," Ian admits. The words cause Mickey to freeze for a moment. He had considered Ian and him to have a relationship, but he didn't think Ian felt the same. Mickey still believed that as soon as someone better came along, he would get dumped and left behind. Because that was what it was always like for him. His dad had picked drinking and drugs over him. His mom had picked a life free of kids over him. Now he was almost certain that Ian would do the same. "We are in a relationship... aren't we?" Ian asks shyly.

 

Mickey sets the box down onto the bench before turning to Ian. He grabs him by the hips and gently pushes him up against the fence, kissing him deeply on the lips. Ian grabs the back of the older boy's neck and melts against his lips.

 

Mickey smiles as he gently pulls back, resting time foreheads together. "Course we are." He backs away from Ian and turns around, grabbing the case of beers. "Want one?"

 

Ian smiles and rubs his thumb over his bottom lip. "Yeah, grab the box of cigarettes too."

 

Mickey nods and pulls out a beer along with the pack of cigarettes. "Shotgun," he grins. He reaches into his pocket to pull out a pocket knife. His thumb swipes up, opening the blade and jamming it into the can so that the beer leaks out the side. He places his hand on Ian's back as he moved closer to him and holds the beer against his lips. Ian reaches up to the side and holds onto the can as he downs half of it. He then passes it back over to Mickey who downs the rest of it.

 

He grins and crushes the can against the concrete wall. "Wanna smoke?" He asks, pulling out two cigarettes. Ian nods and takes one of them.

 

"Hey, Mick... hypothetically... if you did go to college what would you study?" Ian asks.

 

Mickey shoots him a look as he lights up their cigarettes. "There isn't even a hypothetical major I would consider because I'm not fucking going."

 

Ian shakes his head. "Would you at least fucking consider it?" He snaps. "You don't give yourself any props, Mick and I'm sick of it. You never think you will amount to anything because your dad never did, but that's bull crap. Mickey... I know you're smart. Hell, you're better at math than I am. You just don't try. If you were to put yourself out there and try you can get into college. And I know it would be expensive and tough, but I would help you. I just... even if we go out separate ways after high school or whatever, I still wanna help you. I wanna see you get out of this shit hole cause it's what you deserve."

 

Mickey stays silent for a moment. His cigarette dangled between his lips as he stares down at his feet. "I just... it's hard," he mumbles. "My whole life I've been told I ain't worth shit and at some point, I just started to believe it."

 

Ian nods a bit and walks over to the bench. He grabs two beer cans, handing one over to Mickey. "How about tonight you spend the night at my place and we can look at community colleges that we both like. I'll help you figure out what major you'd wanna go with. I mean it'll take a while to figure everything out but I think now is a good time to start it."

 

Mickey cracks open the beer can and plays with the tab. He shrugs. "Yeah... Yeah, okay we can look," he says, swiping his thumb against the side of his nose.

 

Ian smiles. "Awesome. I'll make sure to grab the laptop from Debbie's room and we can figure it out."

 

Mickey nods. "Thanks, Ian," he says quietly.

 

The other boy smiles. "Of course, Mick."


	19. Bruises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I really enjoyed writing this chapter and I hope you all enjoy reading it :) also we’re approaching the end of this fanfic with just a few chapters left. I am considering adding a second book to this series but I haven’t yet decided.

Mickey had ended up spending the night at Ian's the day before. He forced Ian to let him sleep on the floor, rather than the bed, but Mickey was starting to regret that decision greatly as he rubbed the knot in his neck.

 

He let out a small sigh and pushes open the door to his house. It was quiet inside. Mickey didn't see his brothers watching tv, or his dad on the couch. Mickey figured he had the whole place to himself for the afternoon so he kicked his shoes off and shut the door behind him.

 

Down the hall he heard a small clank like something had fallen onto the bathroom tile. Mickey rose his eyebrows at that and slowly crept his way over there. He pushed his bedroom door open and his eyes widened at the sight.

 

In the bathroom was his sister. Her face was full of fresh blood and it had started to drip down onto her shirt as well. Her left eye was swollen shut and Mickey noticed that her shirt was stretched out on the top as if someone was tugging to get it off and her jeans were unbuttoned.

 

Mickey immediately saw blood red. His face heated up and his fists clenched at his sides. "Was it dad?" He asksjaw clenched.

 

Mandy lowered the bloodied rag from her face and shakes her head. "Mickey no I-"

 

"Don't make up a bullshit lie, Mandy. I'm not dumb. I know dad has raped you before this and he probably did it again," he says, rubbing a shaky hand through his hair. "I'm going to kill him... I swear to god I'm going to fucking murder him!" Mickey turns quickly and marches back into his room and over to his dresser. He tugs open the drawer so aggressively that it completely comes out and lands with a thud on the ground. He cursed quietly and picks it back up, setting it on his bed.

 

"Mick, what are you doing?" Mandy asks nervously, hurrying over to her brother.

 

"I told you, I'm going to kill dad." He digs around in his drawer, pushing away a few knives and empty cigarette boxes before pulling out a small handgun. He checks to make sure it's loaded before tugging it into the waistband of his jeans.

 

"Mickey please don't," Mandy begs, lip trembling. "Mick you're gonna get caught and then what? Even if you do kill dad you'll still be in prison for life."

 

"I don't give a shit anymore. I'm sick of him doing this shit all the goddamn time," he says. Mandy immediately breaks down. Tears slip from her eyes and roll down in pink drops as they mix with the blood.

 

"Don't. Please don't do it," she begs. In a desperate attempt to stop her brother, Mandy throws herself on him. She pulls him into a tight hug and presses her face to his chest.

 

Mickey stiffens in the hug. He doesn't hug her back, but after a moment he relaxes a bit in her arms. "I just... he can't keep doing this to you... to us." He gently pries Mandy off of her and shrugs his jacket on. "He's probably at the alibi. I'm gonna go talk to him."

 

Mandy shakes her head. "Please don't, Mick. You're going to end up shooting him and then you're gonna go to prison."

 

Mickey let's out a frustrated groan and tosses the gun onto his bed. "Fine, I won't take the fucking gun. But I'm still going down there to talk to him."

 

Mandy opens her mouth before closing it again and nods. "Just be safe, please. I don't want him hurting you too," she says, wiping tears from her eyes.

 

Mickey nods, rubbing the back of his neck. "I will. I'll be fine, Mandy. Just stay here and clean yourself up. I'll be back later," he mumbles. Mickey walks toward the front door and leaves the house.

 

His jaw was still set and he felt his whole body rush with adrenaline. Mickey wanted nothing more than to hit Terry hard in the face. He wanted to smash his tatted knuckles into the man's face over and over again until Terry was knocked down. He wanted him to feel the same way he did. Mickey wanted his dad to feel that same numbing fear he felt every time his dad rose his voice. He wanted him to bleed at the hands of his own son and he wanted everyone at the bar to watch. Mickey wanted to prove to everyone that Terry wasn't as big and bad as he seemed. But he mostly wanted to prove it to himself. He wanted to see the real Terry who was nothing more than a pathetic, drug-addicted deadbeat.

 

Mickey got to the alibi and pushes the door open. He scans the room and sees Terry at a stool with a couple of his buddies. He was chuckling loudly while downing what Mickey figured was his tenth beer. He made his way toward his father and as he did he could feel his anxiety rushing back in. He could feel the familiar fear overtaking his body, but this time he wasn't going to give into it. He was going to stand up for himself and his sister and he was going to kick the shit out of Terry.

 

Terry saw his son approaching when he was a few feet away. He gave him a confused look before tipping back the rest of his beer. "The fuck are you doing here, Mick?" He mumbles.

 

"Get up," Mickey says in a firm voice.

 

Terry chuckles. "What?"

 

"I saw what you did to Mandy you sick fuck! Now get the hell out of the chair and fight me like a real man and not the fucking piece of shit coward you are!" He screams. Mickeys words were enough to make everything else in the bar freeze, including Kev and V who were behind the counter.

 

Terry stands up so abruptly, that the chair he was sitting on clatters to the ground. He grabs his son by the throat and slams him back up against the wall. "Why don't you get the hell out of here before I kick your ass in front of everyone," Terry spits.

 

Mickey's eyes narrow and he kicks his leg out, connecting with Terry's crotch. He bends over and groans in pain. Mickey then winds his fist back and gets a hard punch in on Terry's lip. The older man's head snaps back as blood dribbles down his chin. "You fucker!" He yells angrily. He charges after his son and grabs him by the front of his shirt and slamming his fist into Mickey's face.

 

Before the fight could escalate any further, Kev was making his way over towards the two. He shoves Terry off of Mickey. "Enough! Terry, get the hell out of my bar before I call the cops on you!" He yells angrily.

 

Terry shoots him a look before looking towards Mickey and pointing. "You're dead when you get home," he says before shoving past everyone and leaving.

 

Kev sighs and looks back towards Mickey. "You good?" He asks, placing a hand on his shoulder.

 

Mickey shrugs his hand away and nods. He rubs his fingers gently over his bruised neck. "I'm good. Just should have brought my fucking gun," he scoffs. Before Kev could say anything else, Mickey walked away and out of the bar.

 

He kept his head down as he headed down the sidewalk. His feet started to dampen as he stepped in the slushed up snow that was running down the streets and into the sewers. Mickey felt his eyes water up but he quickly rubbed them before any tears could fall.

 

Mickey was terrified of going home, knowing Terry was already on his way there. So instead he sends a text to Mandy, letting her know he wasn't going home and shoved his phone back away. He huffs out a small sigh and glances forward down the street.

 

He wasn't sure which way he wanted to go. He could either go home and deal with a serious beating from Terry. Or he could go to Ian's and risk his family finding out about their secret.

 

At this point, Mickey was so tired. Tired of the violence and the yelling and the feeling of not being enough. Now he just wanted a break from it all and he knew he could get that at Ian's. So that's where he went. His legs guided him with no thought to it, taking him to the younger boy's house.

 

By the time the melted snow had soaked through his boots completely, Mickey had made it to the Gallagher's house. He climbed the steps to the small house and knocked on the door. He stood there with his head down and hands in his pockets until he heard the front door creak open.

 

Mickey looked up and was met with Lip looking back at him. "Yo, your brother home?" Mickey asks, swiping his thumb against his bottom lip.

 

Lip nods a bit, eyes flickering down to the finger-shaped bruises on Mickey's neck. "Yeah, he's up in his room," he says, moving to the side. Mickey gives him a nod and walks inside, kicking his shoes off.

 

He then glances up towards Lip. "Hey, man.. You, uh, think you could do me a favor?" He mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

"Yeah, what's up?" He asks.

 

"I think Mandy's still at home... You think you could go and check in on her?" He asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Lip nods. "Yeah, Yeah, of course, I can. I'll head over there now."

 

Mickey nods and shrugs his coat off. "Thanks," he says, shoving past Lip and heading up the stairs. He walks down the hallway and steps into Ian’s room.

 

He was the only one in there, the other three beds unoccupied while Ian was sprawled our on his, scribbling something down in his notebook. “Hey,” Mickey says quietly. Ian immediately whips his head around, facing Mickey with wide eyes.

 

“You scared me,” he says, closing his notebook and tossing it to the ground.

 

Mickey chuckles and shuts the door behind him. “Didn’t mean to. You’re just a pussy,” he teases. He flashes Ian a tired smile and walks over to the bed, flopping down on the end of it. “Saw Lip downstairs and Frank at the alibi, where the hell is everyone else?”

 

“Fiona is out with her newest boy toy, Carl is god know’s where and Debbie is currently playing dress up in her room with poor Liam who is probably being forced into a dress as we speak.” Ian rolls over as he speaks and rests his head on his elbows so he was closer to Mickey. He frowns a bit and reaches a hand out. The younger boy gently traces his fingers over the bruises on his boyfriend’s neck. “Mick...”

 

Mickey shivers under the touch and gently pushes Ian’s hand to the side. “Just... don’t,” he says.

 

Ian looks up at his eyes and away from the darkened marks. “Don’t what?”

 

“Don’t ask questions. We both know what happened and I don’t wanna fucking talk about it,” he grumbles. “Seems like that’s all I ever talk about.”

 

Ian nods. As much as he wanted to know what had led up to the moment when those bruises were placed on Mickey’s neck, Ian knew who had done it. And he knew Mickey didn’t want to talk about it and he would respect that. The last thing he wanted was to anger Mickey when he had come to him for comfort. “Okay. We don’t have to talk about that. Or anything if you don’t want to. We could just lay here,” Ian offers.

 

Mickey tilts his head to the side and faces Ian. Laying here with Ian, Mickey forgot how tired he truly was. Sure his body still hurt and he wanted nothing more than to just sleep, but he forgot about how tired his mind was. He forgot about the fear of going home and everything shitty in his life.

 

“Wanna hear something cool,” Ian says.

 

Mickey nods.

 

“I came out to Fi,” he says, grinning widely and Mickey couldn’t help but grin as well.

 

“No shit?”

 

Ian shakes his head. “No shit. I mean she told me she already knew and everything, but she didn’t care at all. Felt so damn good.”

 

Mickey nods and closes his eyes. “You wanna know something?” He mumbles. Ian nods. “Sometimes I wish, mom was still around. As far as I can remember she was nice. Sure she was a fucking addicted who chose drugs over her kids sometimes, but she never was as bad as Terry,” he says. He kept his eyes closed as he spoke, thinking about his mom. He pictured her bright blue eyes in his mind along with her black hair and bright smile. Mickey missed that smile.

 

“I know Mandy told me she died when you guys were younger, but what happened?” Ian asked curiously.

 

“She od’d. I remember that day still, too. I was in second grade and Mandy was in kindergarten. She was out with my uncle or some shit so I was the first one home. Walked inside and I remember seeing her on that damn couch. Couldn’t get her to open her eyes or move or do fucking anything,” he says. He smiled as he told the story but only to hide the tears that welled up in his eyes. “Didn’t know what to fucking do or who the call so I just sat with her till my brothers got home. I kept hoping she’d wake up before they came home, but she never did.”

 

“I’m so sorry, Mick. I know my mom can be a shit mom at times but I can’t even imagine that,” he says. Mickey nods as he rubs at his eyes. Ian cups the side of Mickey’s face and leans in. He presses his lips gently against Mickey’s and lets his eyes slip shut.

 

Mickey immediately kisses back, eager to feel Ian’s touch. He wished they were truly alone, that no one else was in the house. But he knew that wasn’t the case and he would have to settle for a simple kiss on the lips and nothing more.

 

He pulls away after a few minutes and licks his lips. “Think I could spend the night again?”

 

Ian nods. “Course you can. You don’t even have to ask. Except this time I’m making you take the bed.”


	20. High Hopes

Mickey wakes up the next morning to Ian nudging his side with his foot. "Mick... Mick wake up," Ian whispers and Mickey groans, blindly swatting at Ian's foot. 

"Knock it off before I rip your damn leg off," he grumbles, rolling onto his stomach. Ian smiles softly and rolls his eyes at the empty threat. 

"Come on, it's almost eleven thirty and I'm bored. Been up for hours. I already finished my homework and I went for a jog."

"Well ain't that good for you. Least one of us can be productive today."

Ian sighs. "Mick come on. I was, uh... thinking maybe we could look at some good local colleges online today. Find some of our options. I think it could be fun."

"Then you obviously don't know the definition of fun," he says. The raven haired boy sits up on the makeshift bed and rubs his eyes. The bruises around his neck had turned a dark, almost black, purple over night and a part of his lip was slightly redder than the rest. Mickey grimaced as he pressed down on the tender skin. "Listen... I'll spend an hour or whatever at the library with you looking at this shit if you do something afterwards that I want to do."

Ian's eyes light up and he immediately nods. "Yeah, sure sounds like a plan. Let me just pack my laptop and everything and we can go."

Mickey grins at his boyfriend's excitement and palms his eyes. "Go get ready then, nerd. I just gotta piss and I'm ready."

Ian leaves the room to grab the laptop while Mickey goes to the bathroom. After the both of them finish up, they pull on their shoes and coats and head out the front door. "It's finally starting to warm up," Ian states, holding onto the straps of his backpack.

Mickey nods. "Thank god too. I'm tired of freezing my balls off at home. Our fucking furnace broke."

"You could just stay at my place until you guys get a new one," Ian offers. 

Mickey chuckles. "You know we're not going to get a new one in who knows how long."

Ian grins. "Exactly."

Mickey rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "I'm not gonna be a free loader and stay at your place till it's finally not freezing outside at night."

"The offer still stands whenever," Ian says. 

The rest of the walk was rather quiet until they got to the library. Ian walks ahead of Mickey and holds the door open for the both of them. Inside there were a few kids and one or two adults scattered around. "Let's go grab a table on the back," Ian says. Mickey nods and lets ian lead him to the back. They find a small circular table that was tucked away in a back corner of the library. Ian sets his bag on the ground and takes a seat while Ian sits adjacent from him. The younger boy pulls his laptop out and sets it out on the table. "Do you have any ideas for colleges?"

Mickey scoffs and shakes his head. "No. I still think this is a dumbass idea. With my grads and juvenile record I'm not getting into shit."

Ian pouts. "You promised you'd look with me, Mick. You can still get your highschool degree and go to a local community college."

"Okay, Fine. Say I did get my degree and went to a small community college. Would you go too?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Ian nods. "Of course."

"And that's exactly what I don't want. I don't want to be the one that's holding you back. You can get into a decent college far away from this shit hole and then do whatever the hell you want from there," Mickey stresses. "I don't want you giving all that up for me."

Ian stays silent for a moment before finally opening his mouth to speak. "Mick I... I don't care where I go to college at. I don't care if it's far away in like California or New York. Or if it's just a local college around here. Wherever you are, that's where I wanna be as well."

Mickey snorts and shakes his head. "That sounded really queer," he whispers. 

Ian holds a straight face for a moment before breaking out in a grin. "Oh, shut up. I'm being serious, Mickey. I wanna stay close to you."

Mickey couldn't wrap his head around why Ian would want to throw away an amazing future just to stick around with him. Mickey didn't feel like he was anything special but he certainly felt like a burden, constantly holding Ian back. 

"It's not my fault then if you ruin your future cause your dumb ass wants to stick around here with me," Mickey mumbles, though he certainly would feel like it was his fault.

The two stay in the library for a while. It took a lot of persisting on Ian's side and a lot of resisting on Mickey's. But Ian thought they had made some progress. They pin pointed a few colleges they both liked and Ian even got Mickey to pick a major. Mickey thought he would enjoy engineering and Ian picked education. He had known for a while now that he wanted to be a highschool teacher. Unlike most teenagers, Ian always enjoyed going to school and learning. All he wanted to do was make school fun for other highschool kids. 

"So now we get to do what I wanna do?" Mickey asks, grinning. 

Ian nods. "Beers at the baseball field. Sounds like the perfect date," he teases. 

Mickey raises an eyebrow. "Never said it was a date."

"Then what is it?"

Mickey shrugs. He glances down and kicks a rock as they walk down the street. "It's just us hanging out," he says, glancing back over at Ian. 

He grins and nods. "Okay, go ahead and call it whatever you want. I'm still calling it a date," he teases. 

Mickey swipes a thumb over his lip to hide the smile that was forming on his lips. 

Eventually the two of them reach the fields and Ian tosses his backpack over the fence before scaling it himself. He lands on his feet and picks his bag up as Mickey does the same. The two of them walk into the dugout and Mickey shrugs his bag off of his back before pulling out two beers. "Heads up," he says, tossing one to Ian. The younger boy catches it with ease and cracks it open, taking a long sip. 

Mickey grins softly at the sight. Though he was only just drinking a beer, Mickey couldn't help but marvel at his boyfriend. His eyes were shut and head tipped back as he drank. Though it was slowly warming up outside it was still chilly so Ian decided to wear a hat. It was a maroon beanie that Mickey thought looked hot as hell on him. His hair picked out from the bottom of it onto his forehead. 

Mickey glances away as he opens up his own beer and takes a sip from it before sitting down on the bench. Ian sets his can down and drops his bag before going over to the bar that hung above the dugout. He jumps up and wraps his fingers around the cold metal. After a moment he starts to pull his body up and down on the bar. His face was scrunched up in concentration and Mickey grinned as he watched. "Tough guy, huh?" He teases. 

Ian chuckles and drops from the bar, facing Mickey. "I'd like to see you try."

Mickey raises an eyebrow and stands up. "Don't think I can do as many as you?" He challenges.

He sets his beer on the bench before making his way over to the bar. He jumps up and holds onto the metal just as Ian had done a moment before. Mickey smirks a bit to himself as he starts to pull himself up and down on the bar, his chin going over it every time. He grunted softly as he kept going, his muscles burning. 

Ian laughs. "Okay, tough guy. I get it you're strong. Now stop showing off and come back over here," he says. 

Mickey drops from the bar and turns to Ian with a smile. Ian takes a step forward before grabbing Mickey by the hips and pressing their lips together. 

Ian's were slightly chapped from the brutal winter, but Mickey didn't mind one bit. He embraced the kiss hold heartedly. His hand comes up and he presses it against the back of Ian's neck. Mickeys eyes slipped shut as he melted into the kiss. Just like every time they kissed, Mickey felt the same warm feeing in his chest. His heart started to race and the only thing on his mind was Ian. 

Mickey pulls away for a moment but keeps his forehead pressed against Ian's. "Take your fuckin' jacket off," he mumbles. Without a word of protest, Ian shrugs his coat off and lets it fall to the ground below. Mickey slips a hand under his shirt and immediately leans back in towards his lips. 

The cold of his hand caused shivers to run down Ian's spine, but he didn't want Micky to ever take his hand away. Ian cups mickeys face before letting one hand slide back to cradle the back of his head and tangle in his hair. "Want you to fuck me... Want you so badly," Mickey says against Ian's lips. 

The words sent a shiver down Ian's spine. He grabs Mickey by his hips and gently turns him around, pressing him against the cool metal of the fence. 

Mickey grins a bit to himself as he reaches down and unzips his jeans. Ian does the same to his own pants until thy drop down to his ankles. He leans in close and presses his lips against Mickey's neck. Mickey sighs in content and tilts his head to the side. Ian's teeth graze over his skin softly as his hand snakes down and grabs at Mickey's boxers. He gently pulls them down and runs a hand over Mickey's skin.

Ian sucks on his finger for a moment before moving his hand back down and sliding a finger in between Mickey's cheeks. He bites down softly on his neck at the same time he slides a finger into his hole. 

The older boy tilts his head back and let out a moan. He chuckles breathlessly and licks his lips. "A little warning would have been nice."

Ian laughs. "I knew you didn't need one," he says. He slowly pumps a finger inside of Mickey as the older boy tilts his head to the side and brings Ian's lips back onto his own. Ian uses his free hand to cup the side of Mickey's face.

Mickey moans into his mouth and Ian grins against his lips. He pulls away after a few moments and removes his hand from Mickey as well. Ian tugs his boxers down before stroking himself a few times. He holds onto Mickey’s hip and kisses the side of his neck. “You ready?” He warns this time. 

Mickey nods, wrapping his fingers around the fence of the dugout. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

With those words, Ian slowly pushes his way out and pulls a rough groan from the other boy. Ian goes all the way until he bottoms out. He wraps a hand around Mickey’s waist to pull him even closer. He then starts to slowly roll his hips towards Mickey. 

Mickey was pressed back against Ian’s stomach, with no room in between. But somehow he still wanted to get closer. He wanted their shirts to be off so they could feel Ian better, but he knew it was still fair to cold for that. 

The raven haired boy turns his head to the side and kisses Ian again. His eyes slip shut as Ian thrusts into him while kissing him deeply. Mickey could already feel his hard on aching in his boxers and he was about to reach to relieve himself, but Ian beat him to it. 

He slips a hand into the front of Mickey’s boxers and pushes them down on the front. He wraps his fingers around his cock and slowly starts to jerk him off. 

Mickey melts into the kiss. The feeling of Ian’s hands on him, his lips on his own and his cock in side of him was almost too much to bare. 

Mickey pulls away, panting softly. “Fuck... Fuck I love you, Ian,” he says, the words slipping past his lips without a second thought. 

Ian’s thrusts falter for a moment as he soaks in the words. After a moment to recover, he grins brightly and leans in to place a hickey on a sensitive part of Mickey’s neck. 

“I love you too, Mick”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s only three chapters left!!! I can’t believe I’ve almost completed this fanfic. It’s been such a joy to write and I truly don’t want it to end.


	21. The End Of an Era

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so so so sorry for taking so long on an update but I promised I’d finish this fic and I’m going to do so no matter what

Sunday night rolled around and Ian and Mickey had found themselves on Mickey's couch in his living room. The lights were off and the only light in the room was from the tv screen that casted a blue glow over their faces.

Iggy, Colin and Terry had all gone out on a run and Mandy had gone on a date with Lip somewhere that Mickey didn't care enough about to remember the name of. 

 

Now the two boys had no idea what movie was on. The two of them were too focused on each other's lips to pay any attention to it. They were both only in their boxers from an earlier sexual activity that left the two boys too tired to get totally dressed. Plus they both knew that sooner than later they would be undressing each other again.

 

Mickey's hand came down and slipped into Ian's boxers, jerking him slowly. "Wanna go for round two now?" Mickey mumbles against his lips.

 

Ian smiles and nods. "Yeah, but don't wanna stop kissing you," he says. He presses his lips back against Mickey's

 

The two of them stay with their lips connect just as the front door creaks open behind them. Neither of them seemed to notice it though until Terry's voice echoed through the house.

 

"What the fuck is going on?!" He yells.

 

Mickey's eyes fly open and he immediately pulls himself away from Ian. "Dad... dad it's nothing," he says nervously.

 

"The fuck it is nothing. You two are a couple of fags!" He yells this before charging for them. He first grabs Ian by the wrist and yanks him up just so he could land a hard punch to the side of his nose.

 

Ian winces and falls back against the couch. Terry climbs on top of him and his fist comes down again, this time even harder than the last.

 

"He didn't do anything!" Mickey yells as he jumps onto his dad's back. He wraps his arms around Terry's neck and tries to yank him off. The force was enough to at least get him to stumble back a bit, but his satisfaction didn't last long. Terry throws Mickey off of him and pins him to the couch as he hits him again and again and again.

 

Ian seizes the opportunity and turns towards the bat that was hanging on the wall. Terry though seemed to realize it as he took his gun out and pointed it towards Ian. "Make another move for the door and I'll blow your queer brains out," he mutters.

 

Ian freezes in terror for a moment before slowly making his way back towards the couch and sitting down. The blood from his nose was still oozing out and was now making his chest all sticky.

 

Mickey, now only half conscious, reaches a hand up and shoves it in Terry's face in a lame attempt to get him to back off. Terry immediately brings the butt end of his fun down and slams it against his son's face.

 

Mickey let's out a grunt as his head snaps back. His vision was starting to go fuzzy and he could see black spots in the corners of his eyes.

 

Ian couldn't do anything more than just sit there and watch in horror. He didn't know what to do as terry pulled his phone out and began to call someone.

 

"Hey... get me the Russian," he says, looking down at Mickey the whole time. He exchanged a few more words with the person before hanging up. "You two stay the fuck there and don't move. Either of you try to make a run for it and I'll pop a cap in your ass."

 

Neither Ian and Mickey wanted to take that risk because they both knew there was a high possibility that terry would do just that.

 

So Mickey just laid there on the couch as he waited. His head was pounding and his body was aching but his only concern was Ian. He didn't know who "the Russian" was but he was afraid it was going to be someone horrible who would hurt Ian and that was the last thing he wanted. He didn't care what happened to him just as long as Ian made it out okay.

 

They say there in silence for twenty minutes as terry kept watch. Suddenly there's a knock at the door and someone comes in. It was a girl with a tight dress and a few pounds of make up.

 

Terry grins and leans close to Mickey. "She's gonna fuck the faggot outta ya, kid," he says.

 

Mickey couldn't help but smile weakly. Least now he knew nothing was going to happen to Ian.

 

His body felt weak and he knew there was no use putting up a fight because he had already tried and it hadn't ended well. Mickey knew the only way out of this was to just take it. As much as it sickened him, he knew he had to and that if he did Ian would be safe.

 

So that was exactly what he did. Mickey laid on the couch while Ian watched and it seemed like an eternity, but soon it was older. Terry mumbles something about faggots before letting Ian leave and then he paid off the hooker and she left too.

 

Mickey stayed on the couch for a long while after and Terry stayed right by his side at first. He stared at his son as he closed the door behind the hooker and walked across the living room towards his son. He picked up Mickey's boxers and chucked the at his face.

 

"Now that she fucked the faggot outta you I don't want you going anywhere near that red head, you hear me? Otherwise next time will be worse than what you got tonight."

 

Mickey let the boxers rest on his chest for a moment as he closed his eyes and nodded slightly. The action made him wise and he felt a deep throbbing sensation rattle his skull.

 

Terry nods in satisfaction before leaving Mickey a broken mess on the couch.

 

It took nearly an hour for Mickey to work up the strength to put the boxers back on. And it took him another ten before he was able to walk to his room before falling into his bed.

 

He couldn't take this anymore. The physical pain was beyond belief but it was still nothing compared to the emotional pain he felt. He was terrified that this was it for him and Ian and he just couldn't bare it. He couldn't let his dad control his life anymore and he sure as fuck wasn't going to.

 

Not anymore.

 

So Mickey worked up the last of his strength as he sat up on his bed and pulled a bag out beneath it. He spent twenty minutes stuffing as much of his clothes as he could into that bag before slinging it onto his back.

 

This was it. This was the last time he was ever. Ever going to let his dad ruin his life.

 

He limped over toward his bedroom door and out to the front door. "Fuck you, dad," he mutters before heading out the front door for the last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo this is crazy to say but this is the second last chapter in this fic


	22. Hold your own

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter my dudes. Hope you enjoy

Mickey was terrified and hurt and tired. His ankle throbbed horribly as he walked down the sidewalks and his head was pounding horribly from the beating. He still felt disgusting all around from the beating and "the Russian". The only thing right now that was keeping him going was the thought of getting to Ian. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he couldn't live with his dad anymore. He felt like his only option was going to Ian because Ian always helped when he was scared.

 

Mickey was almost certain his ankle was broken because he was basically in tears from any pressure he had to put on it, but the adrenaline of getting to Ian was the only thing keeping him going. It was cold and he was shivering since he had forgotten a coat.

 

After what seemed like hours, Mickey reached the Gallagher's. He had to struggle with the steps and cling to the railing for dear life until he was finally able to make it to the door. He knocked on it before leaning to the side on the railing. Mickey waited for a few moments in the cold before the door cracked open and a familiar red head peered out from the other side.

 

Mickey could see a faint bruise around Ian's nose and he immediately felt a rush of nausea course through him. It was his fault Ian got hurt. "I-Ian?  Can I come in?"

 

Ian nods immediately. He doesn't hesitate to open the door. He moves to the side to let Mickey in, but keeps a hand on his back to make sure he didn't fall over.

 

"Mick I... I shouldn't have left," Ian says apologetically. "I should have stayed there."

 

"Didn't have a choice." Mickey mumbles and drops his bag to the ground. He felt like he was ready to collapse down with it. "Just... just don't wanna go back home. Figured I could crash here for a little while? Till I figure out somewhere to stay."

 

Ian rolls his eyes. "You're staying here." He doesn't ask it as a question before Ian wants Mickey here. He doesn't want him to end up back in the hands of Terry or somewhere worse. "Let me help you up the stairs to the bathroom. We have to get you cleaned up, Mick."

 

Mickey doesn't even try to argue or complain. He let's Ian wrap his arm under his shoulders and leans heavily against him as he limps his way up the stairs. As soon as Mickey reaches the bathroom, he found himself sitting down on top of the closed toilet. His whole body ached as the pain pulsed through his every bone. He felt like every inch of his skin was bruised and he felt disgusting from the inside out.

 

"Ian I... I'm sorry," Mickey mumbles. Ian rummages through the cabinet before pulling out peroxide, bandages and medical wrap.

 

"Mick, there's nothing to be sorry about. It's okay," he softly. He offers Mickey a small smile before dipping some wadded up toilet paper into the container of peroxide. "May burn a bit." Ian carefully cups Mickey's face as he dabs at the scraps and cuts that littered his face.

 

Mickey winced and groaned, but the pain from the peroxide was far less than the pain he experienced from his father's coming down repeatedly on his face. "I'm so tired, man. I... I'm tired of being afraid." His voice sounded weird as he spoke as if it wasn't his own. Mickey wasn't used to being so vulnerable, but he was tired of being afraid and he didn't want to feel that way anymore. He wanted to be free and Ian made him feel that way.

 

"I know, Mick. Fuck I'm sorry I didn't stay. I... I didn't know what to do and your dad he was already so mad that I-"

 

"Ian, I ain't mad about that. I'm not mad at you for that shit back there. If you'd of stayed he probably would have made her hope on your dick too. Wouldn't want that for you." He cracks a tired smile and he could feel the cut on his lip start to bleed a bit.

 

Before he could clean it himself, Ian was already there wiping it up. "Want you to stay with me now. I'll explain it all to Fi and we can just share my bed. Won't be the most comfortable, but don't want you going back to that house, Mick. Can't see you like this anymore."

 

Mickey wanted to argue and fight Ian for babying him so much, but the truth was he needed it. He felt safe and loved with Ian and it was a feeling he rarely ever felt. He didn’t want to lose that feeling anytime soon.

 

“You don’t mind me staying?” He asks, rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip.

 

Ian smiles softly and shakes his head. “Course not, Mick. I’d do anything for you.”

 

Mickey stares down at his lap for a few moments before looking across at Ian. He smiles a bit before cupping the side of his boyfriend’s face and pulling him in for a kiss.

 

Ian immediately kisses him back. He makes sure to be careful as he cups the sides of Mickey’s face and slips his tongue between his boyfriend’s lips. He felt Mickey him in content against his lips and Ian couldn’t help but smile.

 

“I love you,” Ian mumbles against his lips. Mickey rests his forehead against Ian’s and closes his eyes.

 

“Love you too, Ian.”

 

After Ian had finished cleaning Mickey up and got him changed into a fresh pair of clothes, he practically passed out from exhausted. Ian had barely gotten him to his bed before Mickey fell asleep. He had tugged on Ian’s wrist so that he laid in the bed with him and that was where he still was. He laid wide awake, rubbing Mickey’s back as he slept. It had to of least been two hours until he finally heard the front door open.

 

“Ian!” He heads Fiona called. Ian missed Mickey’s forehead softly before standing up and silently slipping out of the room.

 

“Hey,” he says quietly as he goes down the stairs.

 

“Hey, didn’t know if you were home,” Fiona says as she sets Liam down on the counter and hands him a juice box. She turns to look at Ian and that was when she frowned. “The hell happened to your face?”

 

Ian sighs. “Terry.”

 

“Milkovich?”

 

He nods. “Caught me and Mickey... together. It was ugly, Fi... It was so bad and I, uh... he got Mickey bad. Got him real bad and when Mickey came here he was more bruise than boy. He’s asleep in my room now. Told him he could crash here for a while.”

 

“Jesus. Well just as long as you’re okay and Mickey too. But if he’s staying here he’s gonna have to pull some weight, Ian. We’re already behind on bills this month and now if we have another mouth to feed it-“

 

“I know,” he cuts her off. “Mickey will hold his own, but he’s gotta stay here. He can’t go back home without his dad losing his shit and I’m not gonna let him sleep out under the L or something. He’s staying here.”

 

Fiona nods. “Okay. Just as long as he pulls his weight.”

 

After talking with Fiona, Ian made two ham and cheese sandwiches for him and Mickey and went back upstairs. He found Mickey still asleep and he smiled softly. Even with the bruises he looked peaceful when he slept. Ian always loved finding Mickey like this because he looked so innocent and cute. Ian knew if he ever told Mickey that, that he’d probably get a ‘fuck off’ or something along those lines so he kept that to himself.

 

“Mickey.” Ian mumbles and gently shakes his shoulder. “Mick, hey, wake up.”

 

Mickey groans quietly and rubs his eyes. “Why’d ya fuckin’ wake me?” He mumbles, voice laced with sleep.

 

“Made us sandwiches. Figured you haven’t eaten in a while.”

 

Mickey smiles tiredly as he sits up in the bed. Ian sits down next to him and hands him one of the sandwiches.

 

“So I talked to, Fiona.”

 

“And?” Mickey asks. He raises an eyebrow as he takes a bite of his sandwich.

 

“Said if you help out and hold your own you could stay.”

 

Mickey snorts and shakes his head. “Course I can hold my own.”

 

Ian grins. “I know. I told her that. So she doesn’t care if you stay though which means we get to be roomies,” he teases.

 

Mickey laughs quietly and shakes his head. “Thanks, Ian.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Just for... for everything basically. Never fucking left me even when I was a dick to you.”

 

Ian leans over and carefully pecks his lips. “As long as you want me around, I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Mickey smiles a bit. “I really fuckin’ love you, man,” he mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

Ian grins and kisses his cheek. “I love you too, Mick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic took me a lot longer than I had planned but I’m just glad I was able to finish it. But I hope that you all enjoyed it while it lasted and I’m sorry if the ending seemed rushed. If there’s any loose ends or questions you have that were left unanswered don’t be afraid to ask me them and I’ll answer them all! Anyways thank you guys all so so much for the support on this fic and I hope to be back with another one soon!
> 
> But since I am planning on writing another fic if you guys could go please check out a “work” I posted yesterday with plot ideas. I need help picking one and would love some feedback on which one to pick. It would mean a lot to me. A short summary of the three options o have so far are 1. Mickey is in a gang, he meets Ian at a gay bar and has to keep their relationship secret in fear that his gang members will find out and kill him. 2. Mickey is thrown in jail after taking the blame for a fellow member of the same gang as him after terry finds out he’s gay & ian is an officer there who makes it his mission to prove Mickey’s innocence 3. Mickey is married and has a kid (Yev) he meets Ian at the gay bar and they hit things off, but of course he has to keep it secret from his wife and Terry which Ian isn’t too fond of. 
> 
> BUT ANYWAYS PLEASE HELP ME CHOOSE WHICH TO WRITE IM DESPERATE


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